12/01 Weight Loss Challenge, Part 12
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7kick her to the curb
Posted by: katjam202
Posted on: 2003-12-01 09:28:31
Why is JIm still married to this woman? Everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes but obviously she shouldn't be married to Jim. I think she is very snotty and condesending, she will be his biggest sabatoger. Jim...kick her to the curb!
Posted by: katjam202
Posted on: 2003-12-01 09:28:31
Why is JIm still married to this woman? Everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes but obviously she shouldn't be married to Jim. I think she is very snotty and condesending, she will be his biggest sabatoger. Jim...kick her to the curb!
Agree
Posted by: renewedwmn
Posted on: 2003-12-01 16:52:27
I agree that Dana is not on Jim's side. I can understand a spouse being sceptical but this man is working hard and getting results and that needs to be honored. He deserves even more credit for keeping going when the person that should be his #1 cheerleading is sabotaging him.
Posted by: renewedwmn
Posted on: 2003-12-01 16:52:27
I agree that Dana is not on Jim's side. I can understand a spouse being sceptical but this man is working hard and getting results and that needs to be honored. He deserves even more credit for keeping going when the person that should be his #1 cheerleading is sabotaging him.
help on tips? !! ?
Posted by: acashar
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:10:14
Hi,
I really liked the tips Do's and Don'ts Dr. Phil gave on todays program, to Jim on this situation but I was unable to copy them down for further referrence, can some one help me with the lists? Thanks ! S.
Posted by: acashar
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:10:14
Hi,
I really liked the tips Do's and Don'ts Dr. Phil gave on todays program, to Jim on this situation but I was unable to copy them down for further referrence, can some one help me with the lists? Thanks ! S.
RE: Help on Tips
Posted by: philboard
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:15:36
You wrote:
>Hi, I really liked the tips Do's and Don'ts Dr. Phil gave on todays program, to Jim on this situation but I was unable to copy them down for further referrence, can some one help me with the lists? Thanks !
I think this is the list you're referring to: Circle of Support Dos and Don'ts
Posted by: philboard
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:15:36
You wrote:
>Hi, I really liked the tips Do's and Don'ts Dr. Phil gave on todays program, to Jim on this situation but I was unable to copy them down for further referrence, can some one help me with the lists? Thanks !
I think this is the list you're referring to: Circle of Support Dos and Don'ts
dump dana
Posted by: dsnycrw
Posted on: 2003-12-01 19:44:54
Dana seems to be looking for more justification for leaving Jim. She isn't capable of supporting him in his challenges and will ultimately dump him when the spotlight is off him at his goal weight. She does NOT want to be with him now and it shows like red flags all over the TV. Jim needs to tell her to get on the ball or hit the road. Sorry Jim....but it just looks like she doesn't love you in the way you love her. Been there...done that and now I have a terrific guy who would be shouting my success from the mountain top!
Posted by: dsnycrw
Posted on: 2003-12-01 19:44:54
Dana seems to be looking for more justification for leaving Jim. She isn't capable of supporting him in his challenges and will ultimately dump him when the spotlight is off him at his goal weight. She does NOT want to be with him now and it shows like red flags all over the TV. Jim needs to tell her to get on the ball or hit the road. Sorry Jim....but it just looks like she doesn't love you in the way you love her. Been there...done that and now I have a terrific guy who would be shouting my success from the mountain top!
Dana & Jim
Posted by: flanell
Posted on: 2003-12-01 22:40:44
To me , Dana seems to almost be taunting Jim to fail? Daring him almost? just so that she can say ' well there..... what did I tell you?? I TOLD you that you wouldn't do it'........ I feel so badly for Jim as in my opinion this man is Doing just AWESOME!! i hope he finds the support he deserves......... but it isn't going to be from his snotty wife, that's for sure.
Posted by: flanell
Posted on: 2003-12-01 22:40:44
To me , Dana seems to almost be taunting Jim to fail? Daring him almost? just so that she can say ' well there..... what did I tell you?? I TOLD you that you wouldn't do it'........ I feel so badly for Jim as in my opinion this man is Doing just AWESOME!! i hope he finds the support he deserves......... but it isn't going to be from his snotty wife, that's for sure.
Jim deserves MORE
Posted by: bthurlow
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:47:14
Jim seems like a fantastic person and he deserves more from his wife than he is getting!!! His wife is SO not supportive and obviously thinks she is better than her own husband. Very sad. I know that Jim can do it. I hope he gets the courage to see that his wife is a danger to his new life style---YOU DESERVE 100% support from your spouse. I think she is afraid that you are going to take the spotlight from her as you lose weight and become EVEN MORE handsome than you already are. KEEP up the GREAT WORK and know that you are a great person big or small!!!!!
Posted by: bthurlow
Posted on: 2003-12-01 17:47:14
Jim seems like a fantastic person and he deserves more from his wife than he is getting!!! His wife is SO not supportive and obviously thinks she is better than her own husband. Very sad. I know that Jim can do it. I hope he gets the courage to see that his wife is a danger to his new life style---YOU DESERVE 100% support from your spouse. I think she is afraid that you are going to take the spotlight from her as you lose weight and become EVEN MORE handsome than you already are. KEEP up the GREAT WORK and know that you are a great person big or small!!!!!
Who does she think she is?
Posted by: honey8526
Posted on: 2003-12-01 18:40:42
What is wrong with Jim's wife? She does not treat her husband very well!! I recently lost about 8 lbs. and it is very hard to do, so I know how much trouble Jim is going through. I also know that you must have at least one person cheering you on (preferably someone close to you) so I don't know why this wife isn't proud of her husband!
Posted by: honey8526
Posted on: 2003-12-01 18:40:42
What is wrong with Jim's wife? She does not treat her husband very well!! I recently lost about 8 lbs. and it is very hard to do, so I know how much trouble Jim is going through. I also know that you must have at least one person cheering you on (preferably someone close to you) so I don't know why this wife isn't proud of her husband!
Dana, the joke is on you!
Posted by: bathos
Posted on: 2003-12-01 19:58:46
Who does Dana think she is fooling? Clearly, her problem is not Jim's weight. Weight is ONLY a convenient topic for her unhappiness in this marriage.
Posted by: bathos
Posted on: 2003-12-01 19:58:46
Who does Dana think she is fooling? Clearly, her problem is not Jim's weight. Weight is ONLY a convenient topic for her unhappiness in this marriage.
How Shallow!
Posted by: savanajane
Posted on: 2003-12-01 20:08:04
I agree. Jim needs to kick his wife to the curb. Marriage is in sickness and in health. She must have forgotten that part of their vows & obviously doesn't realize how painful it is to be to be a few pounds overweight or have an imperfection. It is really sad that she does not love, support and accept Jim for the person he is instead of judging him.
Posted by: savanajane
Posted on: 2003-12-01 20:08:04
I agree. Jim needs to kick his wife to the curb. Marriage is in sickness and in health. She must have forgotten that part of their vows & obviously doesn't realize how painful it is to be to be a few pounds overweight or have an imperfection. It is really sad that she does not love, support and accept Jim for the person he is instead of judging him.
I dunno...
Posted by: waystone
Posted on: 2003-12-01 22:09:55
... she certainly needs to work on a few ares of her own life and relationship, but it's important to not assume we know her - and them - well enough through a show to decide if they're right for each other.
We've all had friends who need a whole lot of support - lots and lots and lots and lots, and then once you've hung up the phone after three hours, you just know they're going to call back for more. Maybe she's feeling worn out. We honestly have no way of knowing.
Personally, I'd say that as he keeps with it, she'll be more comfortable in taking the active role she should by right have - and that their relationship can only improve as a result. :D
Posted by: waystone
Posted on: 2003-12-01 22:09:55
... she certainly needs to work on a few ares of her own life and relationship, but it's important to not assume we know her - and them - well enough through a show to decide if they're right for each other.
We've all had friends who need a whole lot of support - lots and lots and lots and lots, and then once you've hung up the phone after three hours, you just know they're going to call back for more. Maybe she's feeling worn out. We honestly have no way of knowing.
Personally, I'd say that as he keeps with it, she'll be more comfortable in taking the active role she should by right have - and that their relationship can only improve as a result. :D
Don't Kick Her! :(
Posted by: binniebee
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:13:33
Sorry, but I know how she feels. Now, granted I can't contribute to the weight challenge issue personally, but I can and do equate it with another drastically changing lifestyle: Quitting Smoking. While I finally was able to do this over 2 years ago my husband has tried and failed a gazillion times since. Do you know how it feels to be so let down, and saddened and worried and helpless time and time and time again? Over the same issue year after year after year? It hurts and it takes something out of you, like faith that they will actually stick it out. Sure, I TRY to continue to be supportive and cheer my husband on when he tries another quit, but then I am so irritated when he starts back. And no, he does NOT appreciate me applauding him too loudly, or me making a big deal out of each quit attempt, as Dr. Phil made this lady feel she should do. And that is because he doesn't trust himself to keep it up either and doesn't want too much attention regarding each quit attempt.
I can relate to Jim's wife. I just try to be supportive in spite of my skepticism. It's not as easy as you might imagine, though, if you haven't been there.
Posted by: binniebee
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:13:33
Sorry, but I know how she feels. Now, granted I can't contribute to the weight challenge issue personally, but I can and do equate it with another drastically changing lifestyle: Quitting Smoking. While I finally was able to do this over 2 years ago my husband has tried and failed a gazillion times since. Do you know how it feels to be so let down, and saddened and worried and helpless time and time and time again? Over the same issue year after year after year? It hurts and it takes something out of you, like faith that they will actually stick it out. Sure, I TRY to continue to be supportive and cheer my husband on when he tries another quit, but then I am so irritated when he starts back. And no, he does NOT appreciate me applauding him too loudly, or me making a big deal out of each quit attempt, as Dr. Phil made this lady feel she should do. And that is because he doesn't trust himself to keep it up either and doesn't want too much attention regarding each quit attempt.
I can relate to Jim's wife. I just try to be supportive in spite of my skepticism. It's not as easy as you might imagine, though, if you haven't been there.
Hard to believe
Posted by: tsilcox1
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:43:31
I can't believe that she sat there and laughed the entire time that Dr. Phil was talking to her. I really can't believe that Dr. Phil didn't rip her apart for being so rude, hateful, and uncaring. She doesn't deserve any happiness if that's her way of showing her concern!
Posted by: tsilcox1
Posted on: 2003-12-01 23:43:31
I can't believe that she sat there and laughed the entire time that Dr. Phil was talking to her. I really can't believe that Dr. Phil didn't rip her apart for being so rude, hateful, and uncaring. She doesn't deserve any happiness if that's her way of showing her concern!
A cover up
Posted by: kori69
Posted on: 2003-12-02 00:29:02
We laugh when we are in an uncomfortable situation. I am sure that is why nothing was said.
Posted by: kori69
Posted on: 2003-12-02 00:29:02
We laugh when we are in an uncomfortable situation. I am sure that is why nothing was said.
Standing up for Dana
Posted by: jjames4
Posted on: 2003-12-02 18:37:27
I can see that it looks like she is being unsupportive, but I can understand exactly where she is coming from. I weigh 115 lbs and am married to a man who weighs 380. It is extremely frustrating and disheartening to watch him self-destruct month after month, year after year. Every pound he gains is like a slap in the face to the rest of us (myself and our 4 children). It's like he's telling us that food is more important than having a healthy, productive life with his wife and children. I have tried and tried to support him with weight loss in the past and I've always ended up much more hurt and disappointed than he has when the "diet" has failed. Yes, Jim is doing a FANTASTIC job and deserves a lot of credit and all of the support he can get right now, but for a long time Dana was his biggest cheerleader and it brought her nothing but disappointment. I don't blame her for being skeptical - a few months of success isn't going to instantly make up for years of failure. She's just trying to protect herself from being hurt again. Given more time and Jim's continued success, I'm sure she'll be back to cheering him on again.
Jennifer
Posted by: jjames4
Posted on: 2003-12-02 18:37:27
I can see that it looks like she is being unsupportive, but I can understand exactly where she is coming from. I weigh 115 lbs and am married to a man who weighs 380. It is extremely frustrating and disheartening to watch him self-destruct month after month, year after year. Every pound he gains is like a slap in the face to the rest of us (myself and our 4 children). It's like he's telling us that food is more important than having a healthy, productive life with his wife and children. I have tried and tried to support him with weight loss in the past and I've always ended up much more hurt and disappointed than he has when the "diet" has failed. Yes, Jim is doing a FANTASTIC job and deserves a lot of credit and all of the support he can get right now, but for a long time Dana was his biggest cheerleader and it brought her nothing but disappointment. I don't blame her for being skeptical - a few months of success isn't going to instantly make up for years of failure. She's just trying to protect herself from being hurt again. Given more time and Jim's continued success, I'm sure she'll be back to cheering him on again.
Jennifer
opinion
Posted by: bcbendyk
Posted on: 2003-12-03 09:36:57
I just wonder is Dana got cancer or was in a disfiguring accident and needed someone to encourage and support her if Jims weight would be an issue. I grew up with a Mother that was grossly overweight her whole life. She failed a zillion times at losing weight and it finally took her life. Did I ever stop loving and supporting her. NO!!!!!!!!! This is more than just weight smoking etc. Quit being embarrased by your spouses habits. You are responsible for your oun. Dont you think they feel like a failure also. You dont need to tell a person who is fat that they are fat and you dont need to tell a person with liver cancer they need to stop drinking or a person with lung cancer to stop smoking. Love should be unconditional! Support them as people, not as habits. Just an opinion.
Posted by: bcbendyk
Posted on: 2003-12-03 09:36:57
I just wonder is Dana got cancer or was in a disfiguring accident and needed someone to encourage and support her if Jims weight would be an issue. I grew up with a Mother that was grossly overweight her whole life. She failed a zillion times at losing weight and it finally took her life. Did I ever stop loving and supporting her. NO!!!!!!!!! This is more than just weight smoking etc. Quit being embarrased by your spouses habits. You are responsible for your oun. Dont you think they feel like a failure also. You dont need to tell a person who is fat that they are fat and you dont need to tell a person with liver cancer they need to stop drinking or a person with lung cancer to stop smoking. Love should be unconditional! Support them as people, not as habits. Just an opinion.
Re: Standing up for Dana
Posted by: nancytol
Posted on: 2003-12-03 17:11:11
I too am a woman married for 6 yrs to a large man (352 lbs). He has MANY co morbidities due to his weight. Every step of every moment of his life I 150% support him. I'm not patting myself on the back here. I'm just stating that as his wife who loves him through thick and thin, no matter what,through his disappointments and as a result, mine, I SUPPORT HIM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! I think it's selfish and self important to say *I* tried and tried and *I* ended up feeling disappointed and hurt. Without your support (and Dana's support for Jim) he's definitely doomed for failure. Almost sounds as if Dana and the Dana types WANT their loved ones to fail. Makes one wonder why.
Posted by: nancytol
Posted on: 2003-12-03 17:11:11
I too am a woman married for 6 yrs to a large man (352 lbs). He has MANY co morbidities due to his weight. Every step of every moment of his life I 150% support him. I'm not patting myself on the back here. I'm just stating that as his wife who loves him through thick and thin, no matter what,through his disappointments and as a result, mine, I SUPPORT HIM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! I think it's selfish and self important to say *I* tried and tried and *I* ended up feeling disappointed and hurt. Without your support (and Dana's support for Jim) he's definitely doomed for failure. Almost sounds as if Dana and the Dana types WANT their loved ones to fail. Makes one wonder why.
Jim needs your affection Dana! Down with the wall
Posted by: ziggy531
Posted on: 2003-12-05 21:33:13
I clearly think that Dana is a very self assured woman who needs a man who is more self assured than she is. Dana is not willing to give more than she is willing to get in return. From watching the show it is clear to see how needy Jim is for affection and support and Dana isn't comfortable in giving significant affection to her husband who needs and deserves it as her spouse. No wonder he turns to food for affection. I believe that it is Dana's responsiblity as a loving spouse to dig down deep and support her man in his hour of need! I feel for couples who can't connect in the most intimate of ways to support each other.
I hope that Jim can see that he as a person is worth his effort to lose the weight to become a better person for himself, whether or not he gets Dana's support. I hope that Dana can look into herself and break down the walls that keep her separated from her husband Jim. If she loves him, she should find a way to connect and support him.
We are all unique, special individuals and require unique special ways of connecting and relating to each other. It is worth your effort if you love each other to concentrate and work on it. Dana, you never know when you will need Jim's support.
Posted by: ziggy531
Posted on: 2003-12-05 21:33:13
I clearly think that Dana is a very self assured woman who needs a man who is more self assured than she is. Dana is not willing to give more than she is willing to get in return. From watching the show it is clear to see how needy Jim is for affection and support and Dana isn't comfortable in giving significant affection to her husband who needs and deserves it as her spouse. No wonder he turns to food for affection. I believe that it is Dana's responsiblity as a loving spouse to dig down deep and support her man in his hour of need! I feel for couples who can't connect in the most intimate of ways to support each other.
I hope that Jim can see that he as a person is worth his effort to lose the weight to become a better person for himself, whether or not he gets Dana's support. I hope that Dana can look into herself and break down the walls that keep her separated from her husband Jim. If she loves him, she should find a way to connect and support him.
We are all unique, special individuals and require unique special ways of connecting and relating to each other. It is worth your effort if you love each other to concentrate and work on it. Dana, you never know when you will need Jim's support.
Wow!
Posted by: dbunne
Posted on: 2003-12-07 19:40:53
Jennifer; I wanted to thank u for presenting a viewpoint I had never considered. Not being married, I never really considered the impact of my "failures"
on other people. I do know the impact they have had on me, though. A cheerleader can be hard to find. I commend u for trying. Maybe people need different kinds of support.I'd think the best place to start would be to talk about it.
Posted by: dbunne
Posted on: 2003-12-07 19:40:53
Jennifer; I wanted to thank u for presenting a viewpoint I had never considered. Not being married, I never really considered the impact of my "failures"
on other people. I do know the impact they have had on me, though. A cheerleader can be hard to find. I commend u for trying. Maybe people need different kinds of support.I'd think the best place to start would be to talk about it.
