01/09 Eating Disorders, Part II
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Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2003-01-09 10:31:09
She needs to be hospitalized for the duration of her pregancy, who will take care of this baby if their are complications. The parents aren't getting along now. Perhaps there should be tests done to find out if the baby is ok.
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2003-01-09 10:31:09
She needs to be hospitalized for the duration of her pregancy, who will take care of this baby if their are complications. The parents aren't getting along now. Perhaps there should be tests done to find out if the baby is ok.
i agree
Posted by: jade_xx
Posted on: 2003-01-09 15:55:50
you are so right when i was pregnant with my son i did everything in my power to stop. How can she call herself a mother? She needs to find out all of her options then have a baby not have a baby and try to have people feel sorry for her she needs a lil' growing up to do
Posted by: jade_xx
Posted on: 2003-01-09 15:55:50
you are so right when i was pregnant with my son i did everything in my power to stop. How can she call herself a mother? She needs to find out all of her options then have a baby not have a baby and try to have people feel sorry for her she needs a lil' growing up to do
lay off the guilt trips
Posted by: karenannvf
Posted on: 2003-01-09 16:49:07
The last thing this pregnant young woman needs is more guilt; it will send her right to the refrigerator. I know cause I've been there. She needs to focus on expressing her needs and getting healthy. My baby was fine; Cathy Rigby's babies were fine; chances are her baby will be fine too. Fear that she has hurt her baby, guilt, and further self-loathing will not stop her or anyone else from suffering from an eating disorder. You obviously don't "get it".
Posted by: karenannvf
Posted on: 2003-01-09 16:49:07
The last thing this pregnant young woman needs is more guilt; it will send her right to the refrigerator. I know cause I've been there. She needs to focus on expressing her needs and getting healthy. My baby was fine; Cathy Rigby's babies were fine; chances are her baby will be fine too. Fear that she has hurt her baby, guilt, and further self-loathing will not stop her or anyone else from suffering from an eating disorder. You obviously don't "get it".
Exactly
Posted by: deleens
Posted on: 2003-01-09 18:11:54
As a woman in her 7th month that happens to fight a battle with anorexia, guilt is the way wrong reaction.
I think that it's the gut reaction of people that don't understand the problem, though. My mother accidently went off to me about how she can't understand how a woman could be so selfish as to endanger her baby to achieve a certain look. I don't think she realized how that would hurt me.
I've managed to eat and gain for the entire pregnancy because of a lot of support. I think any mother with this problem wants to give their child a healthy body - but what is often overlooked is that this disorder isn't about eating or lying or looking a certain way. It's about controlling your body and your basic instincts to eat when everything else in your life is out of control, including your hormones. That's why it often hits initially in adolescence.
So you think about pregnancy and how your body is suddenly as out of control as ever and hormones are suddenly way messed up and no wonder it's a particularly difficult time for a woman to fight anorexia or bulemia - even with the incentive of providing a healthy environment for their child.
Posted by: deleens
Posted on: 2003-01-09 18:11:54
As a woman in her 7th month that happens to fight a battle with anorexia, guilt is the way wrong reaction.
I think that it's the gut reaction of people that don't understand the problem, though. My mother accidently went off to me about how she can't understand how a woman could be so selfish as to endanger her baby to achieve a certain look. I don't think she realized how that would hurt me.
I've managed to eat and gain for the entire pregnancy because of a lot of support. I think any mother with this problem wants to give their child a healthy body - but what is often overlooked is that this disorder isn't about eating or lying or looking a certain way. It's about controlling your body and your basic instincts to eat when everything else in your life is out of control, including your hormones. That's why it often hits initially in adolescence.
So you think about pregnancy and how your body is suddenly as out of control as ever and hormones are suddenly way messed up and no wonder it's a particularly difficult time for a woman to fight anorexia or bulemia - even with the incentive of providing a healthy environment for their child.
Thank you
Posted by: slgreet
Posted on: 2003-01-10 00:09:32
As a woman who has struggled with bulemia for 18 years I want to thank you for your support for the pregnant woman. My heart goes out to that woman. I also had a husband who after 13 years of marriage and 3 children cheated on me. I was totally devestated. I am so thankful that I wasn't pregnant at the time. That woman on the show has done remarkably well considering her circumstances. She has had to deal with a cheating husband, who even admitted that he had the affair after she had been doing so well, and an unplanned pregnancy, which for an anorexic is extremely hard even in the best of circumstances. She says she has gained 12 pounds and that is great. And what remarkable courage to go on national television and seek help. I know I would never go on T.V. and talk about my struggles.
Posted by: slgreet
Posted on: 2003-01-10 00:09:32
As a woman who has struggled with bulemia for 18 years I want to thank you for your support for the pregnant woman. My heart goes out to that woman. I also had a husband who after 13 years of marriage and 3 children cheated on me. I was totally devestated. I am so thankful that I wasn't pregnant at the time. That woman on the show has done remarkably well considering her circumstances. She has had to deal with a cheating husband, who even admitted that he had the affair after she had been doing so well, and an unplanned pregnancy, which for an anorexic is extremely hard even in the best of circumstances. She says she has gained 12 pounds and that is great. And what remarkable courage to go on national television and seek help. I know I would never go on T.V. and talk about my struggles.
Hi
Posted by: ola2003
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:47:03
Do you know the website they talked about on the show?
Posted by: ola2003
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:47:03
Do you know the website they talked about on the show?
thank you
Posted by: purchla
Posted on: 2003-10-03 01:56:31
It was intresting what you said . i have been bullimic for about 21 years. during this time i have gotten help from OA. I never thought when it begain until i read your message but it was shortly after my husband of 14 years left me. I had 3 young children i had to raise and my eating was the only one thing i had complete controll over. There are a lot of things in my life that i do not have controll over now and i am thinking i am going to eating to take controll, i have been doing good for a bout a week now. I had almost 5 years of abastance under my belt. But you made me do some thinking. My mom came to live out in california and it has been a real strain. i love her but she is consuming me and she does not get along very well with my husband and it puts me in between to people that i love very much. but i think if i do not have this in my life there will be something so i need to use other things to handle problems. thank you any in put i would love to hear. susan
Posted by: purchla
Posted on: 2003-10-03 01:56:31
It was intresting what you said . i have been bullimic for about 21 years. during this time i have gotten help from OA. I never thought when it begain until i read your message but it was shortly after my husband of 14 years left me. I had 3 young children i had to raise and my eating was the only one thing i had complete controll over. There are a lot of things in my life that i do not have controll over now and i am thinking i am going to eating to take controll, i have been doing good for a bout a week now. I had almost 5 years of abastance under my belt. But you made me do some thinking. My mom came to live out in california and it has been a real strain. i love her but she is consuming me and she does not get along very well with my husband and it puts me in between to people that i love very much. but i think if i do not have this in my life there will be something so i need to use other things to handle problems. thank you any in put i would love to hear. susan
correct and more
Posted by: msdawnh
Posted on: 2003-01-10 09:40:36
I developed an eating disorder as a result of my husbands affair. Food tasted like cardboard for as long as he continued contact with her which added to my food aversion. I felt I had absolutely no control in my life. Everything was destroyed and nothing made sense or meant anything. I found that I could control my food intake. If I made it through the day, eating only 5 to 7 bites of food, then I won. I had control. My husband, alarmed at my weight loss, encouraged me to eat. I would take a bite in front of him and go spit it out. It was only after he ended it with her that I felt safe again. I was then able to force myself to eat again normally because I knew what I was doing was not right. My food aversion lasted 4 months.
Posted by: msdawnh
Posted on: 2003-01-10 09:40:36
I developed an eating disorder as a result of my husbands affair. Food tasted like cardboard for as long as he continued contact with her which added to my food aversion. I felt I had absolutely no control in my life. Everything was destroyed and nothing made sense or meant anything. I found that I could control my food intake. If I made it through the day, eating only 5 to 7 bites of food, then I won. I had control. My husband, alarmed at my weight loss, encouraged me to eat. I would take a bite in front of him and go spit it out. It was only after he ended it with her that I felt safe again. I was then able to force myself to eat again normally because I knew what I was doing was not right. My food aversion lasted 4 months.
I *COMPLETELY* agree with you!
Posted by: parothstei
Posted on: 2003-01-09 22:38:23
Some people just don't understand that it isn't an "on/off" switch. It's something that takes time to get over.
I have been Bulimic for many years (18) and was during my pregnancy with both my children...something I'm certainly NOT proud of. THey are both fine -- the baby takes what it needs from the mother during pregnancy.
More guilt is going to make it worse for her
Posted by: parothstei
Posted on: 2003-01-09 22:38:23
Some people just don't understand that it isn't an "on/off" switch. It's something that takes time to get over.
I have been Bulimic for many years (18) and was during my pregnancy with both my children...something I'm certainly NOT proud of. THey are both fine -- the baby takes what it needs from the mother during pregnancy.
More guilt is going to make it worse for her
Posted by: wendystone
Posted on: 2003-01-10 12:20:11
I have also suffered from an eating disorder for some years and have a child, but I wince when I read your statment "They are both fine". I equate that with an alcoholic or drug user who has had a newborn and it's "fine". Do you want to take that risk? Everyone's body and disorder is different - her baby may not be "fine" and what about her health - how healthy will she be when she delivers and cares for a newborn? Although I don't believe in the guilt route this woman (And her husband) need to conciously aware of the risks and vigilant about doing all they can to create a stable life, environment, and attitude that does not include bulimia.
Guilt: the well-meaning baseball bat of ignorance.
Posted by: stevepage
Posted on: 2003-03-09 05:48:23
Hi all,
I'm a viewer from the UK, we've only seen part I of the Eating Disorder program with Crystal...however, my wife has been battling an ED for the last 18 months and I can guarantee all of you that guilt will not persuade someone to give up on this slow suicide. For any person with self-esteem issues (because this ISN'T about the food), being told that "you should be trying harder for your husband/kids/unborn child" WILL NOT HELP. It will only compound their misery and confirm their own lack of self-worth ie "I must be a terrible person to do this to people who love me". Also, the eyes of an ED sufferer give a totally different perception of their own body image, as Dr Phil showed with the 4-person body chart...no matter how thin, the sufferer sees themselves as fat.
Please show as much understanding as possible to whose in the grip of these terible diseases and remember: GUILT WILL ONLY PROLONG THAT PERSONS SUFFERING.
My wife has made her own website giving details of her fight and advice/guidance for those seeking recovery and their families.
Visit www.savingthewoman.com for more information.
Thank you, good luck to everyone in recovery.
Posted by: stevepage
Posted on: 2003-03-09 05:48:23
Hi all,
I'm a viewer from the UK, we've only seen part I of the Eating Disorder program with Crystal...however, my wife has been battling an ED for the last 18 months and I can guarantee all of you that guilt will not persuade someone to give up on this slow suicide. For any person with self-esteem issues (because this ISN'T about the food), being told that "you should be trying harder for your husband/kids/unborn child" WILL NOT HELP. It will only compound their misery and confirm their own lack of self-worth ie "I must be a terrible person to do this to people who love me". Also, the eyes of an ED sufferer give a totally different perception of their own body image, as Dr Phil showed with the 4-person body chart...no matter how thin, the sufferer sees themselves as fat.
Please show as much understanding as possible to whose in the grip of these terible diseases and remember: GUILT WILL ONLY PROLONG THAT PERSONS SUFFERING.
My wife has made her own website giving details of her fight and advice/guidance for those seeking recovery and their families.
Visit www.savingthewoman.com for more information.
Thank you, good luck to everyone in recovery.
response to "I agree"
Posted by: yddubc
Posted on: 2003-01-09 17:42:21
This young lady has a serious problem. It is a lot more than just growing up. What she has is a disease. Yes, you may have been bulimic and had the power to quit when pregnant. If so, good for you but that is not the case for everyone. Before you criticize someone, maybe you should consider what that person is going through.
Posted by: yddubc
Posted on: 2003-01-09 17:42:21
This young lady has a serious problem. It is a lot more than just growing up. What she has is a disease. Yes, you may have been bulimic and had the power to quit when pregnant. If so, good for you but that is not the case for everyone. Before you criticize someone, maybe you should consider what that person is going through.
Who the H... are you to judge?
Posted by: mimijune
Posted on: 2003-01-09 18:24:49
I understand there are dramatic changes that should be done in these women' s life.
They need professionnal help, and I really do not think these disorders can be eliminated just by telling them to eat.
Do you have this disorder? Do you pretend to know how it feels? I did not think so...
You people should stop judging and start having a little compassion for others...
I am not saying it is o.k. but I am sure these women need more than being told to grow up.. YOU GROW UP! Are you god to have the pretention to judge them?
I personally have no idea about the pain they live but today I could see the pain in their eyes. It is obvious they do not want this condition.
I just want to tell them to hang in there find the support you need to get better, and I am sure that it was not an easy thing to go on television to talk about such a secretive disorder.
That is all I had to say, Please Take care of yourselves and stop judging everyone when you have no idea of what they are going through!
Ciao mireille
Posted by: mimijune
Posted on: 2003-01-09 18:24:49
I understand there are dramatic changes that should be done in these women' s life.
They need professionnal help, and I really do not think these disorders can be eliminated just by telling them to eat.
Do you have this disorder? Do you pretend to know how it feels? I did not think so...
You people should stop judging and start having a little compassion for others...
I am not saying it is o.k. but I am sure these women need more than being told to grow up.. YOU GROW UP! Are you god to have the pretention to judge them?
I personally have no idea about the pain they live but today I could see the pain in their eyes. It is obvious they do not want this condition.
I just want to tell them to hang in there find the support you need to get better, and I am sure that it was not an easy thing to go on television to talk about such a secretive disorder.
That is all I had to say, Please Take care of yourselves and stop judging everyone when you have no idea of what they are going through!
Ciao mireille
Posted by: descover
Posted on: 2003-01-09 22:52:55
Lady.. You have no idea what you are talking about.. You act like she has full control over this.. Did you not hear any thing that was said? I don't think she looking for pity.
She came on the show for HELP!!! Why do people put them selves out there to have people like you judge them? Think not! Its for HELP!!! Have a bit of compassion in your heart... I believe she loves that Baby and she said she couldn't get pregnant... It wasn't planed.
Talk about GROWING UP??
Posted by: mosweetie
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:38:51
I just have afew questions and comments.. Jade and anyone else who wants to put someone down for a ED.. An eating disorder is a disease just like cancer, alcoholics, drug addiction, ect. Now, I do not agree with people who put children's life in danger but I too am a woman who suffered from an ED for several years, my ED started right after turning 18, I was not totally in control of it until I would have to say the past yr. Now, do I think that I could relapse? Yes, I know that I can at ANY given time in my life, although it took me yrs to realize that I could control the ED instead of IT controlling me. Jade as I read your letter I saw that it said "I done everything in my power to stop" now did you stop forever? If you did, GREAT! But most people do NOT stop that easy. You also wrote "How can she call herself a Mother" the way I look at it, your a Mother, Jade, does that mean that you do not consider yourself a good Mother? You know it does not JUST affect your life NOW, it can cause damage that you can ONLY notice later in life, it is called "LONG TERM EFFECT" (which I know some of them first hand) Sense my ED started I had 5 children, I had 1 right before it started. I was told by several DR'S. that I was unable to have children after my 1st was born, I got pregnant several times after being hospitalized, I love my children with all my heart and I consider myself a VERY good Mother. When I got pregnant w/my 4th child, I weighed 72 lbs and am 5'4" I also almost relapsed..
Posted by: mosweetie
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:38:51
I just have afew questions and comments.. Jade and anyone else who wants to put someone down for a ED.. An eating disorder is a disease just like cancer, alcoholics, drug addiction, ect. Now, I do not agree with people who put children's life in danger but I too am a woman who suffered from an ED for several years, my ED started right after turning 18, I was not totally in control of it until I would have to say the past yr. Now, do I think that I could relapse? Yes, I know that I can at ANY given time in my life, although it took me yrs to realize that I could control the ED instead of IT controlling me. Jade as I read your letter I saw that it said "I done everything in my power to stop" now did you stop forever? If you did, GREAT! But most people do NOT stop that easy. You also wrote "How can she call herself a Mother" the way I look at it, your a Mother, Jade, does that mean that you do not consider yourself a good Mother? You know it does not JUST affect your life NOW, it can cause damage that you can ONLY notice later in life, it is called "LONG TERM EFFECT" (which I know some of them first hand) Sense my ED started I had 5 children, I had 1 right before it started. I was told by several DR'S. that I was unable to have children after my 1st was born, I got pregnant several times after being hospitalized, I love my children with all my heart and I consider myself a VERY good Mother. When I got pregnant w/my 4th child, I weighed 72 lbs and am 5'4" I also almost relapsed..
Continued..
Posted by: mosweetie
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:49:33
while I was pregnant but held strong for my babies sake, I new that in order for them to be healthy children I had to be stronger than the ED.
If it is that easy to stop by just laying guilt trips on the person w/a ED, then do it anyway and boom, snap your fingers and it will be over just like that. I think NOT! An ED needs several yrs. for recovery. Never think it will go away forever it is no different than any other disease, if cancer can come out of remission then why can't an ED come out of relapse?
Good Luck to all who have this ED and PLZ get help and be very OPEN and HONEST w/your DR'S.
Posted by: mosweetie
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:49:33
while I was pregnant but held strong for my babies sake, I new that in order for them to be healthy children I had to be stronger than the ED.
If it is that easy to stop by just laying guilt trips on the person w/a ED, then do it anyway and boom, snap your fingers and it will be over just like that. I think NOT! An ED needs several yrs. for recovery. Never think it will go away forever it is no different than any other disease, if cancer can come out of remission then why can't an ED come out of relapse?
Good Luck to all who have this ED and PLZ get help and be very OPEN and HONEST w/your DR'S.
you shouldlay off
Posted by: cshbum
Posted on: 2003-07-09 19:48:20
this girl has enough guilt and its hard enough overcoming an ed without the pressure this just makes it harder i admit she should stop for her baby but its not so simple and clear cut it takes alot of guts just to get on tv and talk about it i could never do that so i admire her for that but maybe in time she can get help
Posted by: cshbum
Posted on: 2003-07-09 19:48:20
this girl has enough guilt and its hard enough overcoming an ed without the pressure this just makes it harder i admit she should stop for her baby but its not so simple and clear cut it takes alot of guts just to get on tv and talk about it i could never do that so i admire her for that but maybe in time she can get help
Pregnant Lady
Posted by: joannaw38
Posted on: 2003-01-09 15:58:48
I think their whole situation is so sad, but the saddest of all is the fact that at the end she turned to her cheating husband and asked him if HE was ok.
Posted by: joannaw38
Posted on: 2003-01-09 15:58:48
I think their whole situation is so sad, but the saddest of all is the fact that at the end she turned to her cheating husband and asked him if HE was ok.
Yes indeed
Posted by: mbb123
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:47:32
>the saddest of all is the fact that at the end she turned to her cheating husband and asked him if HE was ok.
Very telling, wasn't it?
It seems both these individuals need to stop seeking center stage, saying "Me, me me!" and realize there are THREE lives involved here. I also feel she relapsed into anorexia/bulimia after her husband's infidelity in order to punish him. What better way to manipulate and hurt him than to starve his unborn child? It's not rational, and she may not even recognize she is doing it (at least in part) for that reason, but I would bet the farm that is a big part of it. The mere fact she exposed this to him on national television rather than in private says she was hoping for maximum hurt/shock value.
The woman needs aggressive monitoring of her status by both therapists and medical care to ensure she eats properly and takes care of herself. It can be done. Thousands of women with anorexia and or bulimia have managed to put the child first and have a positive outcome despite their private demons they battle every day. No excuses!
Posted by: mbb123
Posted on: 2003-01-10 14:47:32
>the saddest of all is the fact that at the end she turned to her cheating husband and asked him if HE was ok.
Very telling, wasn't it?
It seems both these individuals need to stop seeking center stage, saying "Me, me me!" and realize there are THREE lives involved here. I also feel she relapsed into anorexia/bulimia after her husband's infidelity in order to punish him. What better way to manipulate and hurt him than to starve his unborn child? It's not rational, and she may not even recognize she is doing it (at least in part) for that reason, but I would bet the farm that is a big part of it. The mere fact she exposed this to him on national television rather than in private says she was hoping for maximum hurt/shock value.
The woman needs aggressive monitoring of her status by both therapists and medical care to ensure she eats properly and takes care of herself. It can be done. Thousands of women with anorexia and or bulimia have managed to put the child first and have a positive outcome despite their private demons they battle every day. No excuses!
