01/17 Suddenly Rich
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Posted by: daynut2000
Posted on: 2003-01-17 09:07:26
people think money will solve their problems, but lack of money isn't always the underlying problem. my husband and his brother have been torn apart by their inheritance money problems. i'm now concentrating on making our family financial situation not dependent on the outcome of that situation, which i hope will alleviate the tension.
Posted by: daynut2000
Posted on: 2003-01-17 09:07:26
people think money will solve their problems, but lack of money isn't always the underlying problem. my husband and his brother have been torn apart by their inheritance money problems. i'm now concentrating on making our family financial situation not dependent on the outcome of that situation, which i hope will alleviate the tension.
Money Making People Miserable
Posted by: jeanjon
Posted on: 2003-01-17 09:28:51
Dear Dr.Phil,
If money was making my family fall apart...I'd donate it to charity. If you lived without it before and were happy and sharing the wealth is not enough....get rid of it...heck...life is too short.
Jeannie
Posted by: jeanjon
Posted on: 2003-01-17 09:28:51
Dear Dr.Phil,
If money was making my family fall apart...I'd donate it to charity. If you lived without it before and were happy and sharing the wealth is not enough....get rid of it...heck...life is too short.
Jeannie
Share the wealth!!
Posted by: kmpaurora
Posted on: 2003-01-17 23:06:34
I cannot believe these people! Why does this woman want to live as good as she can and make her children live week to week? If and when I come into money I would make sure my family would not struggle I would want to SEE them having a better life while I am still alive! I think they are just being selfish! What is happening to this world when parents don't feel any responsibilty to make their children happy!! Friends no but family YES! Not that is their duty but they should feel it in their hearts not to watch the children struggle. No money does not solve money problems but it sure helps! Just my opinion!
Posted by: kmpaurora
Posted on: 2003-01-17 23:06:34
I cannot believe these people! Why does this woman want to live as good as she can and make her children live week to week? If and when I come into money I would make sure my family would not struggle I would want to SEE them having a better life while I am still alive! I think they are just being selfish! What is happening to this world when parents don't feel any responsibilty to make their children happy!! Friends no but family YES! Not that is their duty but they should feel it in their hearts not to watch the children struggle. No money does not solve money problems but it sure helps! Just my opinion!
Respectfully Disagree
Posted by: smmu1415
Posted on: 2003-01-18 10:28:45
I don't think parents should financially support their adult children. The adult children will probably not develop the skills needed to survive on their own and will also not experience the pride and satisfaction that comes from achieving their independence. My own mother was wealthy in her later years and having financial security was a great comfort to her. My mother LOANED (with interest)my siblings and me money for things like downpayments on our homes or to buy cars. My finances were very tight at times and I knew that my mother would help me if I really needed it, but she had no intention of letting her adult children become financially dependent on her. We were expected to earn our own way in the world. This was not always easy, but I am grateful that my mother did not allow me to become dependent on her and instead put me in a situation where I was responsible for creating the life that I wanted to live. Another plus - since I did not depend on my mother for financial support, she could not tell me how to spend my money!
My mother passed away a year and a half ago. She left her money to my siblings and I. I feel that I am much more capable of managing my inheritance responsibly because I did not depend on handouts from my mother while she was alive.
Posted by: smmu1415
Posted on: 2003-01-18 10:28:45
I don't think parents should financially support their adult children. The adult children will probably not develop the skills needed to survive on their own and will also not experience the pride and satisfaction that comes from achieving their independence. My own mother was wealthy in her later years and having financial security was a great comfort to her. My mother LOANED (with interest)my siblings and me money for things like downpayments on our homes or to buy cars. My finances were very tight at times and I knew that my mother would help me if I really needed it, but she had no intention of letting her adult children become financially dependent on her. We were expected to earn our own way in the world. This was not always easy, but I am grateful that my mother did not allow me to become dependent on her and instead put me in a situation where I was responsible for creating the life that I wanted to live. Another plus - since I did not depend on my mother for financial support, she could not tell me how to spend my money!
My mother passed away a year and a half ago. She left her money to my siblings and I. I feel that I am much more capable of managing my inheritance responsibly because I did not depend on handouts from my mother while she was alive.
assumptions
Posted by: murrelet
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:50:55
You,like Kathy, seem to assume that children always out live their parents.
Posted by: murrelet
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:50:55
You,like Kathy, seem to assume that children always out live their parents.
I agree
Posted by: sgrbear03
Posted on: 2003-01-18 16:37:26
I agree with smmu1415. If parents do not continue to teach thier children, at any age, financial responsibility, how are they supposed to teach it to thier own children, and so on?
Posted by: sgrbear03
Posted on: 2003-01-18 16:37:26
I agree with smmu1415. If parents do not continue to teach thier children, at any age, financial responsibility, how are they supposed to teach it to thier own children, and so on?
If you think like hlm, or smmu - I disagree with u
Posted by: kozy2day
Posted on: 2003-01-18 16:46:05
To the People Who Believe they should NOT help out!
We are talking about helping people or friends out so they can get on their feet if we were to give them monies (when and if we get an inheritance or winning monies from a lotto).
We are talking about helping them Once, not Continuously.
I agree if we help someone Continuously then they will never learn to rely on themselves or to grow into responsible citizens, but what is wrong with helping them get on their feet? In my eyes, nothing!
Wake up and listen to Dr Phils program more intensly. These guests were not asking for continuous help; they were asking for a one time assistance.............that's it peoples!!!!!
Posted by: kozy2day
Posted on: 2003-01-18 16:46:05
To the People Who Believe they should NOT help out!
We are talking about helping people or friends out so they can get on their feet if we were to give them monies (when and if we get an inheritance or winning monies from a lotto).
We are talking about helping them Once, not Continuously.
I agree if we help someone Continuously then they will never learn to rely on themselves or to grow into responsible citizens, but what is wrong with helping them get on their feet? In my eyes, nothing!
Wake up and listen to Dr Phils program more intensly. These guests were not asking for continuous help; they were asking for a one time assistance.............that's it peoples!!!!!
Money doesn't equal Love
Posted by: zellersgs
Posted on: 2003-01-25 07:56:39
My parent's helped me with a $1000 down payment on my home, 10 years ago (I'm now 33) when I moved 500 miles away to take a teaching job. They loaned me $500 dollars for a used car, spent $1800 on a "safer car"-big fight over that as I told them no when they brought it up. There were a few smaller "helping hands" along the way.
However, they refused to cosign anything for me, they smiled sadly and with love when I would cry about my credit situation (that I caused) and offer advice rather than cash. If they had helped me out of a mess I caused myself, I would never have figured out a way to clear the debt, budget my money and be able to say today that I can support myself. I have managed to maintain my own home and have no credit debt (other than my first new car ever). I live within MY MEANS, not a combination of mine and my parents. They did their job by raising me and paying for more than 3/4ths of my education (I'm still paying the rest off). They would have never left my side, emotionally, regardless of my troubles, but too many parents "save" their children from their own mess only to have to "save" them continually and repeatedly for the same bad judgement. There are some kids that just have to touch the hot stove for themselves to believe your warnings. It won't kill them, but maybe they won't touch it again.
Posted by: zellersgs
Posted on: 2003-01-25 07:56:39
My parent's helped me with a $1000 down payment on my home, 10 years ago (I'm now 33) when I moved 500 miles away to take a teaching job. They loaned me $500 dollars for a used car, spent $1800 on a "safer car"-big fight over that as I told them no when they brought it up. There were a few smaller "helping hands" along the way.
However, they refused to cosign anything for me, they smiled sadly and with love when I would cry about my credit situation (that I caused) and offer advice rather than cash. If they had helped me out of a mess I caused myself, I would never have figured out a way to clear the debt, budget my money and be able to say today that I can support myself. I have managed to maintain my own home and have no credit debt (other than my first new car ever). I live within MY MEANS, not a combination of mine and my parents. They did their job by raising me and paying for more than 3/4ths of my education (I'm still paying the rest off). They would have never left my side, emotionally, regardless of my troubles, but too many parents "save" their children from their own mess only to have to "save" them continually and repeatedly for the same bad judgement. There are some kids that just have to touch the hot stove for themselves to believe your warnings. It won't kill them, but maybe they won't touch it again.
$ is the root to all problems
Posted by: luv2fly
Posted on: 2003-01-21 08:06:36
I have always thought money is a necessary evil. I think it is the root to all problems and brings out the ugliness of a lot of people. I have always said I would not want to win millions and millions of dollars because it would change everything and all my relationships. A million would be plenty for me. And yes, I would share it with my family...that is what families do, share. Giving money to children does not necessarily make your children irresponsible. You teach responsiblity from an early age. Responsiblity isn't all about money. I could never sit in luxury and watch my sons struggle. I would definitely share the wealth.
Posted by: luv2fly
Posted on: 2003-01-21 08:06:36
I have always thought money is a necessary evil. I think it is the root to all problems and brings out the ugliness of a lot of people. I have always said I would not want to win millions and millions of dollars because it would change everything and all my relationships. A million would be plenty for me. And yes, I would share it with my family...that is what families do, share. Giving money to children does not necessarily make your children irresponsible. You teach responsiblity from an early age. Responsiblity isn't all about money. I could never sit in luxury and watch my sons struggle. I would definitely share the wealth.
I Disagree
Posted by: zellersgs
Posted on: 2003-01-25 08:06:23
I don't believe any vice is the "root of all evil", I believe people with weak characters, ethics and morals are. Money is a thing, therefore it can't be evil.
Posted by: zellersgs
Posted on: 2003-01-25 08:06:23
I don't believe any vice is the "root of all evil", I believe people with weak characters, ethics and morals are. Money is a thing, therefore it can't be evil.
Respectfully Disagree
Posted by: thenjgirl
Posted on: 2003-01-19 08:14:57
I could not have said it better myself. How dare people to think that their friends or family memebers owe them. Can you imagine how large your circle would become if you won 4 million dollars? Relatives would be coming out of the woodwork. ha ha The problem is that people are always looking for something for nothing. It is all about money, jealousy & greed today. What a shame. I focus on the blessings I have that are priceless! I love you Dr. Phil!!
Posted by: thenjgirl
Posted on: 2003-01-19 08:14:57
I could not have said it better myself. How dare people to think that their friends or family memebers owe them. Can you imagine how large your circle would become if you won 4 million dollars? Relatives would be coming out of the woodwork. ha ha The problem is that people are always looking for something for nothing. It is all about money, jealousy & greed today. What a shame. I focus on the blessings I have that are priceless! I love you Dr. Phil!!
I totally agree
Posted by: 3decademom
Posted on: 2003-02-18 16:14:37
I also do not think parents should financially support their adult children. My parents support two of my siblings and they (my brother and sister) are in their 30's and 40's and neither have anything to show for their life. They cannot hold a job, neither own a home, neither pay their own rent or utilities and I am very worried about what will happen to them when my parents are gone. It is also NOT FAIR TO MY PARENTS!!! to spend their later years supporting children who will not even try to help themselves because 1)they don't know how and 2) they are lazy!
Posted by: 3decademom
Posted on: 2003-02-18 16:14:37
I also do not think parents should financially support their adult children. My parents support two of my siblings and they (my brother and sister) are in their 30's and 40's and neither have anything to show for their life. They cannot hold a job, neither own a home, neither pay their own rent or utilities and I am very worried about what will happen to them when my parents are gone. It is also NOT FAIR TO MY PARENTS!!! to spend their later years supporting children who will not even try to help themselves because 1)they don't know how and 2) they are lazy!
I agree
Posted by: danaprn
Posted on: 2003-07-22 18:05:46
smmu1415, I completely agree with you! It is much better to be helped and to learn than to have it just handed to you. I do not understand why some people think that those in their family should "share the wealth". If it is theirs, it is theirs! My parents also helped me with loans a couple of times. There was no interest but a definite time limit for repayment was made and stuck to. I am now a responsible adult who pays my bills, owns my own home and all vehicles. I will be basically debt free in the next 5 years. That is thanks to how my family raised me and the fact that they didn't give me money. I don't get why some people think that we all need to have the same. Get out there and work for it!!
Posted by: danaprn
Posted on: 2003-07-22 18:05:46
smmu1415, I completely agree with you! It is much better to be helped and to learn than to have it just handed to you. I do not understand why some people think that those in their family should "share the wealth". If it is theirs, it is theirs! My parents also helped me with loans a couple of times. There was no interest but a definite time limit for repayment was made and stuck to. I am now a responsible adult who pays my bills, owns my own home and all vehicles. I will be basically debt free in the next 5 years. That is thanks to how my family raised me and the fact that they didn't give me money. I don't get why some people think that we all need to have the same. Get out there and work for it!!
To SMMU
Posted by: jaburns
Posted on: 2003-07-30 08:42:44
I feel you are so right, I didn't listen. I kept helping my daughter and her low life husband, thinking it would make things better for her and her children. She is still with him, and she owes me app. 8,ooo.oo with no paying a single dime back. What did I teach her. Absolutely nothing. Your Mother is so right!
Posted by: jaburns
Posted on: 2003-07-30 08:42:44
I feel you are so right, I didn't listen. I kept helping my daughter and her low life husband, thinking it would make things better for her and her children. She is still with him, and she owes me app. 8,ooo.oo with no paying a single dime back. What did I teach her. Absolutely nothing. Your Mother is so right!
selfish millionaires
Posted by: jclifton
Posted on: 2003-01-18 12:33:56
I could not believe the response of the audience that raised their hands at the end of the show. What has happened to America? Where are their morals? What a SELFISH society. The first thing I would do is take care of my parents! The second thing I would do is help my grown adult daughters! The next level would be my stepchildren and then my brothers and sister. Family should come first and if I was blessed enough to receive this money...I should share it with the peopl I love most! JC in Texas!
Posted by: jclifton
Posted on: 2003-01-18 12:33:56
I could not believe the response of the audience that raised their hands at the end of the show. What has happened to America? Where are their morals? What a SELFISH society. The first thing I would do is take care of my parents! The second thing I would do is help my grown adult daughters! The next level would be my stepchildren and then my brothers and sister. Family should come first and if I was blessed enough to receive this money...I should share it with the peopl I love most! JC in Texas!
So Selfish
Posted by: jjustme
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:07:42
I'm with you - the audience response shocked me. I thought the question was "would you feel obligated to help those around you with newly acquired wealth" and almost everyone raised their hand to NO!!! Do all these people live with the philosophy that their own personal happiness and material wealth is the most important aspect of life? They all want their own quality of life to be better than all others! It makes no difference if others are without as long as "The Big I" has everything. They hope others with be envious - thinking that if they have it all then they will be better than others. We had a real drought of character displayed on this show - by EVERYONE. If a person is very wealthy they do owe it to others to help. It isn't your right to be selfish - Selfishness is the origin of all vice. Of course this is just my opinion and I'm just me.
Posted by: jjustme
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:07:42
I'm with you - the audience response shocked me. I thought the question was "would you feel obligated to help those around you with newly acquired wealth" and almost everyone raised their hand to NO!!! Do all these people live with the philosophy that their own personal happiness and material wealth is the most important aspect of life? They all want their own quality of life to be better than all others! It makes no difference if others are without as long as "The Big I" has everything. They hope others with be envious - thinking that if they have it all then they will be better than others. We had a real drought of character displayed on this show - by EVERYONE. If a person is very wealthy they do owe it to others to help. It isn't your right to be selfish - Selfishness is the origin of all vice. Of course this is just my opinion and I'm just me.
SELFISH MILLIONAIRES
Posted by: krossow
Posted on: 2003-01-27 05:09:40
Dr. Phil...The lady who won the 4+million dollars, that says her kids will get it at her death....bet me. That husband of hers will see to it that does not happen, unless she has a good legal will set up, which I doubt she has. That husband of hers was easy to read. Never once did he think of it as "her" money, but "theirs"...even though you reminded them about not living in a community property state. I am sure that guy has that money in HIS name now, she is being dictated to by him & her feelings of guit are that she knows there is so much $ there that she could help her FAMILY live better lives, now while they are alive..shame on her! If I only won $100,000., I would share that with my family, let alone 4+ mill. I would bet she has no relation with our Dear Lord! What is the sense of having all that $ and not to get the pleasure out of sharing it with family & those in need? I feel sorry for her, to be so rich & so unhappy!!
Posted by: krossow
Posted on: 2003-01-27 05:09:40
Dr. Phil...The lady who won the 4+million dollars, that says her kids will get it at her death....bet me. That husband of hers will see to it that does not happen, unless she has a good legal will set up, which I doubt she has. That husband of hers was easy to read. Never once did he think of it as "her" money, but "theirs"...even though you reminded them about not living in a community property state. I am sure that guy has that money in HIS name now, she is being dictated to by him & her feelings of guit are that she knows there is so much $ there that she could help her FAMILY live better lives, now while they are alive..shame on her! If I only won $100,000., I would share that with my family, let alone 4+ mill. I would bet she has no relation with our Dear Lord! What is the sense of having all that $ and not to get the pleasure out of sharing it with family & those in need? I feel sorry for her, to be so rich & so unhappy!!
I will take your bet
Posted by: ibgone
Posted on: 2003-01-30 19:20:25
what planet have you just come from???? 4+ million???? do you understand anything about TAXES?? these people were lucky to take home 1 million.. F.Y.I. when you are married it is us/we not I/me and believe me it is set in a living trust. you do not know THAT guy but feel free to make comments as if you do.do the math. 1 million invested should bring about $60000-$80000 a year in interest, which is probably what these two made a year before becoming lucky.Sooooo they should give everyone something and still have to go to work everyday???? PLEASE!!!! there is a lot more behind this story as far as the two daughters go, and it is not pretty as for their relationship with our LORD you would wish you had such a good one,cause then maybe you would have won that money... feel sorry for yourself not her....
Posted by: ibgone
Posted on: 2003-01-30 19:20:25
what planet have you just come from???? 4+ million???? do you understand anything about TAXES?? these people were lucky to take home 1 million.. F.Y.I. when you are married it is us/we not I/me and believe me it is set in a living trust. you do not know THAT guy but feel free to make comments as if you do.do the math. 1 million invested should bring about $60000-$80000 a year in interest, which is probably what these two made a year before becoming lucky.Sooooo they should give everyone something and still have to go to work everyday???? PLEASE!!!! there is a lot more behind this story as far as the two daughters go, and it is not pretty as for their relationship with our LORD you would wish you had such a good one,cause then maybe you would have won that money... feel sorry for yourself not her....
share the wealth
Posted by: jclifton
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:34:22
Yes, I agree with you. Also, if it had been money that you worked for all your life and saved and put it away, then no...I would tell someone possibly that I worked hard for this money and sweat 14 hours a day to have this.....but this was good luck money...NOT HARD EARNED money. Money you would not have had IF you had not been lucky. So, therefore I would share with my family and find the blessing in giving! That's why they were all miserable with their money...they were not doing the "right" thing and they knew it. JC in Texas
Posted by: jclifton
Posted on: 2003-01-18 13:34:22
Yes, I agree with you. Also, if it had been money that you worked for all your life and saved and put it away, then no...I would tell someone possibly that I worked hard for this money and sweat 14 hours a day to have this.....but this was good luck money...NOT HARD EARNED money. Money you would not have had IF you had not been lucky. So, therefore I would share with my family and find the blessing in giving! That's why they were all miserable with their money...they were not doing the "right" thing and they knew it. JC in Texas
JC in Texas -
Posted by: aggie_55
Posted on: 2003-01-19 08:49:24
Lets see now - you say - you would say NO - if you had money saved up from where you worked HARD for it - that sounds selfish to me - MONEY IS MONEY -- If I had been able to have worked hard for money and had been able to put some up for my future and then a family member happen to have a financial problem - I would help if at all possible - because MONEY IS MONEY - all you want to do is save the money for yourself -
But if you had won the money - I wonder if you would really actually help anyone?? Because most people think -- "What will happen to ME (#1) if I give this money to others?" - I say I would help others but just a few would get some help - I would not want to live as I have lived before - dirt poor - and scrapping the bottom of the barrel....
Posted by: aggie_55
Posted on: 2003-01-19 08:49:24
Lets see now - you say - you would say NO - if you had money saved up from where you worked HARD for it - that sounds selfish to me - MONEY IS MONEY -- If I had been able to have worked hard for money and had been able to put some up for my future and then a family member happen to have a financial problem - I would help if at all possible - because MONEY IS MONEY - all you want to do is save the money for yourself -
But if you had won the money - I wonder if you would really actually help anyone?? Because most people think -- "What will happen to ME (#1) if I give this money to others?" - I say I would help others but just a few would get some help - I would not want to live as I have lived before - dirt poor - and scrapping the bottom of the barrel....
