07/24 Parenting Follow-Up

Tribute to Jeremy
Posted by: pszychojoe
Posted on: 2003-02-26 10:27:37

Dr Phil et al,

A good job on the tribute at the end of the show

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends

His work on the show made a difference to millions...

Joe N. and family
so sorry
Posted by: vegandoll
Posted on: 2003-02-26 16:06:52

jeremy seemed like a wonderful person. it's so sad that he had to leave us. my prayers are with him and all who miss him.
tribute to jeremy
Posted by: gailgunton
Posted on: 2003-02-26 17:03:30

I thought you did a wonderful tribute to Jeremy. What a kind and thoughtful and caring man you are. I lost a nephew about his age 8 years ago and he was a very vibrant young man as Jeremy seemed to be. My heartfelt condolences to the show and the family
I missed the last few minutes
Posted by: leesag
Posted on: 2003-02-26 17:26:51

of the show and didn't hear what had happened to Jeremy. Then I saw they were showing pictures of him. Can you tell me what happened? Thanks!
Go in peace Jeremy
Posted by: mcivergina
Posted on: 2003-02-26 19:02:12

God Bless Jeremy's family and all of you at Dr Phil's production team.

Heaven has a wonderful new angel.

McIver Family
God Bless you and your coworking Family .
Posted by: pinkysplce
Posted on: 2003-02-26 10:35:10

Dr Phil,

It was a very nice tribute to jeremy.

I am so sorry for the loss you all have

suffered. May god bless you all and peace

be with jeremy.

Take Care,
Pinkysplce
tribute
Posted by: strymms
Posted on: 2003-02-26 11:59:29

I applaud you and your crew for the touching tribute to Jeremy. Thoughtful and caring. Please continue to show your kindness for fellow workers feelings as your show evolves.
Children Eating Issues
Posted by: jmelissab
Posted on: 2003-02-26 11:27:21

When I was 9 my family moved out to the country. My dad, who had been raised on a farm, planted a large garden full of different varieties of vegetables. Many of these vegetables I had never tasted.

I will NEVER forget the night Mom was cooking one of these vegetables that I was not particulary fond of (don't remember which one.) As I stood by the stove, I complained bitterly about it, saying I would not eat it.

She said, "Well, then you don't have to eat it." I was elated because I felt as if I had won the battle.

Then she said, "In fact, you don't have to eat anything." And she sent me me to bed, even as I protested, assuring her I would eat the meal without further complaint.

I was a girl with a hearty appetite. As the evening wore into night, the groans of my hungry belly helped me see where I had gone wrong.

I never refused any food she cooked again. In fact, I welcomed her meals. She made trying new foods a game....a way for me to experiment with new tastes....understanding that some foods have strong flavors and can take time to get used to.

I had beautiful skin. Perfect teeth and was almost never sick. I credit all of this to my mother who made vegetables fun.

It IS possible to teach children to learn to eat a variety of foods and for them to feel proud over their accomplishments.

I frequently thank Mom for this gift she gave me.
Tribute to Jeremy
Posted by: punky517
Posted on: 2003-02-26 12:04:13

Dear Dr Phil and Staff

Your heartfelt tribute to Jeremy Stabile was lovely. I sat here and cried and I don't even knnow him, but I could tell by looking at the photos you presented that he was a warm and loving person.

How sad that someone so young, whose life shows so much promise, was taken so early and unexpectedly.

I am sending my best wishes to you and Jeremy's family and friends at this difficult time.

Ellen Clark
Treatment Center
Posted by: sherogan
Posted on: 2003-02-26 12:29:33

I am a nurse and often have patients who are addicted to drugs. I can understand the mother's viewpoint, I would never want my child to be around people who are using heroin. My problem is when the visitors come in, I don't know if they are sneaking in drugs to my patient. I can't do a drug screen everyday on my patient, it will turn out positive anyway from the drugs already in their system.
I think marijuana is less physically (from my research) addictive than nicotine, but has a greater psychological addiction due to the euphoria. It has a social stigma attached to it, but alcohol and nicotine are socially acceptable. Alcohol causes liver failure and dementia. Nicotine causes heart disease, cancer, inability to breath, agitation from withdrawel.
My point is yes, a new social circle should be formed, I've had people recover in a treatment program for heroin, only to return to the same social circle and the same drugs. New friends need to be formed, and not all teens do drugs. Maybe the mother can have a party to help her daughter establish healthy relationships. Everyone in schools knows who the "good" kids are.
If her daughter is considered a "bad" kid, which she seemed like a very nice open person, perhaps she can tell her new friends, "I know you know I smoked pot before, but I've quit now. Would you like to be my friend." It sounds silly, but who would really "just say no" to someone asking to be their friend.
In summary, I wish the U.S. would view alc
a troubled teen
Posted by: melsmom4
Posted on: 2003-02-26 12:56:28

As I watched the show today, I really could relate to Barbara. I am the mother of a 22 year old son who started smoking pot at 17. He quickly became totally absorbed into the drug culture. He went from being an honor student, football player, and decent human being, to being a deceitful, manipulating, irrational person. We tried attending an outpatient rehab twice. It really didn't help him. It introduced him to other kids doing the same things and learning ways to "fool" the drug counselors, teachers, and us. He finally, after alot of tough love(and I mean it is really tough, especially on us, the parents), agreed to an inpatient treatment center(28 days). At the end of the 28 days the counselors recommended a half- way house as the next step. He tentatively agreed and as the day to transition got nearer he started manipulating us. Telling us they weren't treating him fairly, that he didn't need more treatment, and that if we didn't come get him out of there, he would call his old "friends" to get him. He knew we were terrified of him getting back together with his old friends. After much talking with his counselors at the inpatient and the outpatient centers, we decided not to pull him out and went ahead with the halfway house. After 6 months in the halfway house with much intensive (24/7) therapy, he was released. I am happy and proud to say that our son is into his third year of being clean. It was tough but we all survived.
Reward system
Posted by: goaskmommy
Posted on: 2003-02-26 13:01:39

The Reward system work. Getting the children to stay in their own bed. Every morning I would give my two children, ages 4 and 8 stickers to put on their poster board. After 5 sticker they got to choose what they want to do. Or buy them something small. After a week they stay in their own bed. Thank you Dr Phil. My husband thanks you also.

Goaskmommy
Tribute, after the show.
Posted by: montanasky
Posted on: 2003-02-26 15:13:39

Dear Dr. Phil-

Your tribute after the show, regarding the sudden loss of Jeremy, made me so sad. Although I personally did not know him, I cried as you made tribute to Jeremy. I watched the potty training show, with the little boy, who loved Thomas the Train. I watched Jeremy be on the phone that day for the little boy when he went potty. That was so neat. I could see what a wonderful man Jeremy is. I wish you, his family, co-workers & friends the comfort you may need at this sad time. Your tribute to Jeremy was just lovely, yet the loss so sad. May God Bless You All. ~MontanaSky~
Parents...You Must Keep Your Word
Posted by: donnybaby
Posted on: 2003-02-26 16:09:15

Dr Phil was right on as usual. However, in line with his excellent counseling, there's another wonderful and powerful tool of parenting. It's giving your word and keeping it. Make no mistake, if you don't keep your word, your kids will learn that you're not to be trusted and, at the same time, you'll be giving them the key to manipulating you.

I won't go into my own story of the results of not keeping my word (it's not pretty), I'll just say this...I've been paying a heavy price with my kids for years for not. Try Don Miguel Ruiz's wonderfully simple book..."The Four Agreements." Love & peace, Donny
To Dr. Phil & staff
Posted by: kirshbaum
Posted on: 2003-02-26 16:11:20

We offer our condolences to Dr. Phil. his staff & and the family of Jeremy.

The tribute was very touching and & our prayers go out to the family during this trying time.
Fussy Eaters
Posted by: cbourbon
Posted on: 2003-02-26 16:25:54

I hope that parents don't take the advice about eating to far. I can remember my mother forcing me to eat foods I truely did not like. I remember gagging and feeling physically ill. To this day I still do not eat those same foods. By the way I am not a fussy eater. I eat foods alot of people would turn their noses up to.
I am now a mother of 5 and have a deal with my kids. They have to try everything once and if they truely hate it, then I don't make them eat it again.
My third child hated meat when he was little, but loved potatoes and vegetables. I would make up his plate with a small amount of everything on it. He would have to eat everything on his plate and then he could have more vegetables and potatoes. Now he is a healthy 14 year old and eats everything on his plate. He still goes back for more vegetables and I'm not complaining.
My kitchen is not run like a restaurant, but I do cook with everyone's tastes in mind.
I agree
Posted by: brigmommy
Posted on: 2003-02-27 12:37:08

My husband and I long ago decided that this would be an important rule in our home. You must try it once. If you do not like it, you don't have to eat it again. EVERYONE has taste buds! I agree you have to have a healthy mix of foods (i.e. - child cannot claim he only likes cookies and stick with that), but it's okay if he won't eat lima beans but loves broccoli! Godd luck to all!
be careful about food rules
Posted by: capellini
Posted on: 2003-07-25 09:04:57

I agree that it is a bad idea to take rigid food rules too far because you can create a future eating disorder. My parents forced me to eat everything on my plate, and if I did not finish eating by bedtime (I had to sit there until bedtime if I could not eat the food) I had to eat it, cold, for breakfast.

Now it is very difficult for me not to eat everything on my plate, and I often feel uncomfortable with the food left on my dining companions' plates! Uneaten food really bothers me, because it was trained to bother me.

This is not a great trait to have (or to instill in our kids) in this obese, food-obsessed nation.

I think the one-bite rule is good. I have also heard of parents allowing kids to pick 5 foods that they like at any given time and promise to always eat (they must be healthy foods).
Too fussy is a problem
Posted by: rainey136
Posted on: 2003-07-28 16:20:33

When I was young I too was forced to eat things that I absolutly dispised. That being stewed tomatoes and sweet potatoes. I still today do not eat them. Now I have 2 children of my own, and when they were old enough to eat whole food I introduced them to all foods. My daughter and sons "cookie" was a cracker and on occasion they would recieve the real cookies. To this day neither of my kids has aweight problem or a sweet addication. As they grew older they, when at the table, they were asked to only try the food, that they had never tasted before. I told them just try it once and if you don't like it I will never make you eat it again. It is up to them when they get older to try it if they wish. I babysit a 3yr old and all she eats is butter toast and grilled cheese. Maybe an occasional hot dog. Oh, and I can't forget the chocolate milk. I don't say anything to her mother about it because she believes this is fine. I just don't think she can grow to be healthy on this diet. I feel if a child is introduced to healthy foods or a variety of foods when very young there taste in food is much healthier and better. I did ask the 3yr old does she think she will be eating grilled cheese and butter toast when she is my age. She just absolutly will not try anything else. She considers it "yucky" myself and my children all say you can't say its "yucky" if you have never tried it. I just think todays parents give the kids a "menu" so to speak when fixing a meal. I say
Jeremy
Posted by: kimie0926
Posted on: 2003-02-26 16:26:07

My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends. The tribute was wonderful.