06/16 Kids and Weight

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    Over Weight
    Posted by: bman11
    Posted on: 2002-09-18 09:23:15


    I feel that the mother of the 8 yrd old girl is way out of line and she should tkae more time helping her with it than just putting her down all the time , i have a 12 yr old and she is always saying how fat she is but she really isnt she has a ver stocky build and i never and would never tell her that she is FAT that is just plain wrong
      over weight
      Posted by: hotbyrd89
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 15:46:30


      hey bman11, this is fo you, i wonder if the mother of the 8 year old was fat herself. and got made fun of. i just wonder. hum!!!!!
        Me thinks not
        Posted by: carey67
        Posted on: 2003-06-17 18:44:40


        I feel more likely that the woman of the 8 year old probably more likely participated in teasing overweight kids when she was a child, and is now mortified she has an overweight child herself.
      woman was wrong
      Posted by: phillover7
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 17:04:53


      i feel that the woman was wrong for talking to her child that way...this is a child she will grow out of baby fat let a child be a child she should not have to worry about fat or any other adult things!
        Promoting an Eating Disorder
        Posted by: irenelyn
        Posted on: 2003-06-16 09:17:56


        This mother is appauling. Hasn't she ever heard of eating disorders (anorexia/buleimia). All she is doing is promoting her child to develop one of these disorders.
        re: woman was wrong
        Posted by: umtariq
        Posted on: 2003-06-16 17:52:08


        I agree fully that this woman's behavior was way out of line, however, I think we should be careful not to assume that a child at 8 years of age may be carying this much "baby fat". Overweight children don't just grow into their weight. A two or three year old maybe, but by four if the child still has a weight problem we as parents need to do things behind the seens to help eliminate the problem. My step-father told me the tv was "broken" one summer to get me to go outside and play. I think this was an ingenious and unobtrusive way of helping me make friends. Of course to give this type of help it may take having to sacrifice some things ourselves. Our kids are worth it though.
          lying?
          Posted by: lee_britt
          Posted on: 2003-06-16 18:12:08


          If you're saying that lying to the child is a good way to help them then you're way out of line, too. If the child finds out that you lied to them they will lose a huge ammount of trust and respect for you.
      A LITTLE ON THE THICK SIDE
      Posted by: foxxxelayd
      Posted on: 2003-06-16 15:59:38


      The mother of the 8 year girl really needs to check herself!!!! She must have some how been put down in her life about her looks and still feels insecure about herself, is that why she is a single parent? Did the father of her baby make her feel like she wasn't pretty enough? We all want what's best for our children. Putting them down about their looks is not going to get you the perfect child. If anything, you are setting them up for future crisis.

      I have an 8 year old son who is almost 5 feet tall and weighs 125 pounds; I would never put him down because of his weight. He used to come home crying everyday ever since he was 5 years old because the kids at school were teasing him about his weight. It really hurt me to see him in so much pain. When he was 5 or 6 years old, we were watching T.V. one day and a diet pill commercial came on; he told me that he needed those pills to lose some weight so kids wouldn't tease him any more. That horrified so much that I almost started cry in front of him. I had to turn the T.V. off and talk to him. I told him that he was still a baby and didn't need to take those things to make kids like him. I made sure that I emphasized all of the other beautiful qualities that he has like being smart, handsome, kind, strong, friendly, loving, funny, good in sports and everything positive that a slimmer child is. I let him know everyday that I love him, his family loves him and GOD loves him so no matter what people might say, he is l
      A LITTLE ON THE THICK SIDE
      Posted by: foxxxelayd
      Posted on: 2003-06-16 16:00:27


      The mother of the 8 year girl really needs to check herself!! She must have some how been put down in her life about her looks and still feels insecure about herself. I started to cry when I heard this little girl's story. I have an 8 year old son who is almost 5 feet tall and weighs 125 pounds; I would never put him down because of his weight. He used to come home crying everyday ever since he was 5 years old because the kids at school were teasing him about his weight. It really hurt me to see him in so much pain. I told him that he was still a baby and didn't need to be skinny for kids to like him. I made sure that I emphasized all of the other beautiful qualities that he has like being smart, handsome, kind, strong, friendly, loving, funny, good in sports and everything positive that a slimmer child is. I let him know everyday that I love him, his family loves him and GOD loves him so no matter what people might say, he is loved. I'm short, i'm only 5'1". I tell him that GOD made everybody special; black, white, asian, mexican, tall, short, midgets, handicapped, small and big, if he wanted us all to look the same he would have made us that way. When he started 2nd grade, he was very confident in himself and didn't care what the other kids thought about him.
      overweight
      Posted by: sasyred
      Posted on: 2003-06-16 17:21:42


      I agree.. This woman has no idea what she is doing to her child in the long run. Saying rude and not nice things to a child scars them for a very long time. Show that child that it dont matter what society feels, but how she feels about herself. I was always skinny when i was young and my step mom called me fat and ugly all the time. i have 2 teens now myself and teach them to love themselves as they are. Everyone has there own personality and should show it. This woman is way outta line totaly.

      From where im from, calling your child names and cutting them down is considered CHILD ABUSE.. words hurt longer than hitting. Those bruises go away but the scars of words haunt forever... shame on parents that do this to kids..

    The Soul of A Child
    Posted by: caringnurs
    Posted on: 2002-09-18 09:35:48


    I am so incensed by today's episode that I can hardly contain myself. Kudos to Dr. Phil for the tremendous amount of self control he exercised with the mother of that precious little girl. When I see my children, I see the beauty of their souls before I see anything else. How this woman can possibly be so cruel to such a beautiful child is beyond anything I can fathom! I believe this woman has a deep inner problem herself, and is trying to live vicariously through her daughter, wanting to transform her into "supermodel" material so she can stand back and glean compliments about her "thin, fit, (pretty) daughter". This is undoubtedly one of the worse forms of mental child abuse I have ever witnessed. I'd gladly take that little girl home with me right now and love her, and cuddle her and convince her that she is so very precious. Her mother isn't worthy of the title.....not even close.
      I AGREE!
      Posted by: jestsmiln
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 12:14:20


      That woman was unbelievable. My mouth would not shut with every sentence that came out of her mouth! I find it so heartbreaking and just cannot believe a mother could actually believe that the way she was treating her daughter was OK. It's not!
      We are the examples of our children and we must love them, support them, and teach them to be accepting of ALL the differences in the world. I pray that woman got the message.
        kids and weight show
        Posted by: bigtekal
        Posted on: 2002-09-18 15:15:09


        I could not believe the attitude of the mother of that precious eight-year-old girl. She kept referring to "society". Who died and left her beauty queen? Does she honestly believe that she passes the society standard of beauty test? In fact, a better question is "Who's on the society board?"

        The mother has yet to realize that when you allow people to validate you, you give them the power to invalidate you as well.

        In summary, damn “society” and give your daughter your unconditional love and encouragement. It really does go a long way.

        Al in Miami
          Excellent comment!
          Posted by: running2u
          Posted on: 2003-06-16 20:33:54


          Your comment about validation really hit home. I had never thought of it that way but you are right. I guess we all need to remember that. Dealing with the topic of overweight children, the kids need to know that they are special no matter what size and that they are unconditionally loved by their own family. This is especially important cause once they walk out the door they face a "society" of critics. They are usually to vulnerable to realize that their critics are far from perfect themselves
      Just like my mother.....
      Posted by: gnushell
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 14:36:17


      My mother belittled me until I lacked self-esteem. Though not overweight, whe found every excuse to put me down. By the time I was 13, I had no respect for her and no longer liked her. I started smoking pot that year, just to tune her out.

      Fortunately, other influences in my life saved me from ruin. But, it took 30 years to undo all of the negatives she cast upon me. During the 6 years she spent in a nursing home, I could only muster a few visits. She died 5 years ago, without the love of her children. Does Wendy want that?
      God bless you
      Posted by: princess39
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 15:10:02


      You are soooooooo right on the the money this is diffenetly mental abuse. Good for you I feel the exact same way.
      Just like my mother.....
      Posted by: gnushell
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 15:39:40


      My mother belittled me until I lacked self-esteem. Though not overweight, whe found every excuse to put me down. By the time I was 13, I had no respect for her and no longer liked her. I started smoking pot that year, just to tune her out.

      Fortunately, other influences in my life saved me from ruin. But, it took 30 years to undo all of the negatives she cast upon me. During the 6 years she spent in a nursing home, I could only muster a few visits. She died 5 years ago, without the love of her children. Does Wendy want that?
      Well said!
      Posted by: smcke24225
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 16:17:07


      Furthermore, I thought that little gal was darling! I want to run into her mother in a dark alley alone one night!
      hey caringnurs
      Posted by: mgunter
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 18:29:54


      I'm just curious, do ya think that so-called "mother" of the 8 year old little girl thinks she would be a fine candidate for the damn underwear commercials she was referring to on tv????????????? I THINK NOT...she didn't look the part either, wonder how she copes?!?! She looked a little pudgy to me!
      you do not know
      Posted by: sheismine
      Posted on: 2002-09-18 21:04:05


      This show was cut and edited…I LOVE MY DAUGHTER
      And I DO NOT except or will tolerate anyone to tease or talk or spit on her
      The show did not truly represent me or my daughter
      For those who do not know me…Please know that things are not always what that appear on TV,,,,After six hours of taping you only heard what they wanted you to