09/11 'My Personality Is a Problem'
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Posted by: nsaner
Posted on: 2003-09-11 08:44:43
I know a few people who whine. The first example is an entire family and the second is a teenage girl. It is true that it is very annoying. How do I deal with it? I am very honest. I just say " I don't hear you until you can change your tone of voice". The same goes with people who like to yell and raise their voice. I tell them the same thing. Whining and yelling are very unbecoming habits.. like smoking, drinking or doing drugs.
Posted by: nsaner
Posted on: 2003-09-11 08:44:43
I know a few people who whine. The first example is an entire family and the second is a teenage girl. It is true that it is very annoying. How do I deal with it? I am very honest. I just say " I don't hear you until you can change your tone of voice". The same goes with people who like to yell and raise their voice. I tell them the same thing. Whining and yelling are very unbecoming habits.. like smoking, drinking or doing drugs.
whiners
Posted by: dixieljazz
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:33:08
I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I do whine a little but I'm getting better about it if I feel like there is going to be a yelling match I leave the room and do a little reading.
Posted by: dixieljazz
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:33:08
I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I do whine a little but I'm getting better about it if I feel like there is going to be a yelling match I leave the room and do a little reading.
Hear ! Here!
Posted by: janobout
Posted on: 2003-09-12 00:26:32
I agree. If you notice that destructive cycle starting in your family or with friends just tell them. Someone who notices this problem and finds it disturbing is the best one to act as people who use whining and tantrums to get their way will not stop something that works for them! Speak up and do everyone a favour, childish whinging can cross the boundary and soon become a form of bullying.
Jan from OZ
Posted by: janobout
Posted on: 2003-09-12 00:26:32
I agree. If you notice that destructive cycle starting in your family or with friends just tell them. Someone who notices this problem and finds it disturbing is the best one to act as people who use whining and tantrums to get their way will not stop something that works for them! Speak up and do everyone a favour, childish whinging can cross the boundary and soon become a form of bullying.
Jan from OZ
My daughter is a whiner
Posted by: diane2814
Posted on: 2003-09-14 10:44:58
I have a 17 year old daughter who is abusive. She is very much like the girl Dr. Phil had on his show. I am not sure what to do. I have just kicked her out because, it has been a nightmare for myself and my family. If she doesn't get what she wants she will threaten and be as miserable as she can be. She calls me terrible names and she steals from me. I feel our system in North America is wrong. We are not allowed to spank our children and we are always suppose to build their self-esteem. We end up with teenagers who are monsters. I have talked to many moms with the same problem.`
Posted by: diane2814
Posted on: 2003-09-14 10:44:58
I have a 17 year old daughter who is abusive. She is very much like the girl Dr. Phil had on his show. I am not sure what to do. I have just kicked her out because, it has been a nightmare for myself and my family. If she doesn't get what she wants she will threaten and be as miserable as she can be. She calls me terrible names and she steals from me. I feel our system in North America is wrong. We are not allowed to spank our children and we are always suppose to build their self-esteem. We end up with teenagers who are monsters. I have talked to many moms with the same problem.`
worrying
Posted by: ccriegler
Posted on: 2003-09-11 09:38:08
I often worry needlessly. I came across an
statement by an unknown author which i thought says it all:
Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
I believe God is in control and I can give anything to him! Cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.
I Peter 5:7.
That helps me be free to go on with my life.
Posted by: ccriegler
Posted on: 2003-09-11 09:38:08
I often worry needlessly. I came across an
statement by an unknown author which i thought says it all:
Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
I believe God is in control and I can give anything to him! Cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.
I Peter 5:7.
That helps me be free to go on with my life.
worrying
Posted by: dixieljazz
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:35:10
This is another thing I do but I'm trying really hard to stop it but sometimes I do the same I take advice of my Mom or other people.
Posted by: dixieljazz
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:35:10
This is another thing I do but I'm trying really hard to stop it but sometimes I do the same I take advice of my Mom or other people.
Worry
Posted by: mamag22
Posted on: 2003-09-11 20:31:09
I used to be a worry wart but my Mother told me once,"Don't worry about something that you can't change!" It took me awhile to think about it before i took her advise so i always tell people that worry: " If you can't change it in any way then why waste your time worring about it?"It sure makes a lot of sense..what ever will be will be !! Love your show Dr. Phil
mamag22
Posted by: mamag22
Posted on: 2003-09-11 20:31:09
I used to be a worry wart but my Mother told me once,"Don't worry about something that you can't change!" It took me awhile to think about it before i took her advise so i always tell people that worry: " If you can't change it in any way then why waste your time worring about it?"It sure makes a lot of sense..what ever will be will be !! Love your show Dr. Phil
mamag22
Worry
Posted by: skamnewc
Posted on: 2003-09-11 21:56:32
I'm a worrier too, but I found some advice that works for me but I don't know where, whether I read it somewhere or someone told me. The advice I use and it works for me is to pick a time to worry each day and whether you make it an hour or 15 minutes, worry yourself to death and when your time is up, quit until the next day. I find that now my worrying seems to be under control. Hope this helps someone as much as it has helped me.
Posted by: skamnewc
Posted on: 2003-09-11 21:56:32
I'm a worrier too, but I found some advice that works for me but I don't know where, whether I read it somewhere or someone told me. The advice I use and it works for me is to pick a time to worry each day and whether you make it an hour or 15 minutes, worry yourself to death and when your time is up, quit until the next day. I find that now my worrying seems to be under control. Hope this helps someone as much as it has helped me.
I saw the show, but still worry
Posted by: cnspms
Posted on: 2003-09-11 09:38:59
I worry about so many things, but the guest on the show seemed to be an extreme case. I have the rubber band on my wrist, and any time I feel anxious I snap it. The problem is, that I don't know why I'm anxious. I have always worried, I have panick attacks about death, and I'm obsessive/compulsive when it comes to things like the stove or iron. Did I leave them on/plugged in, and I'll check it to death until I make myself walk away. I worry about caring for my baby, I worry about being alone...I just worry! Does anyone else feel that this topic should be discussed more on his show? And does anyone have advice for me, other than the usual, "Oh, just try NOT to worry!" We've all heard that one, right? Any good self help books, calming techniques, etc...? Thanks!
Posted by: cnspms
Posted on: 2003-09-11 09:38:59
I worry about so many things, but the guest on the show seemed to be an extreme case. I have the rubber band on my wrist, and any time I feel anxious I snap it. The problem is, that I don't know why I'm anxious. I have always worried, I have panick attacks about death, and I'm obsessive/compulsive when it comes to things like the stove or iron. Did I leave them on/plugged in, and I'll check it to death until I make myself walk away. I worry about caring for my baby, I worry about being alone...I just worry! Does anyone else feel that this topic should be discussed more on his show? And does anyone have advice for me, other than the usual, "Oh, just try NOT to worry!" We've all heard that one, right? Any good self help books, calming techniques, etc...? Thanks!
me too!
Posted by: foxwillow
Posted on: 2003-09-11 13:24:07
I too am a worrier! I obsess about everything and can't weem to help it. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Hugs!
Posted by: foxwillow
Posted on: 2003-09-11 13:24:07
I too am a worrier! I obsess about everything and can't weem to help it. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Hugs!
cnspns....Try This Mirror Technique
Posted by: donnybaby
Posted on: 2003-09-11 15:01:34
If you seek counseling to help you stop worrying, there are professionals around. Meanwhile, you might want to do this useful mirror technique...When you're alone, have a talk with yourself in a mirror. Introduce yourself to yourself. Chances are you have never met yourself.
You can bet you won't like the person you see in the mirror! However, if you persist and stick with it, you can begin to change.
While I do have much compassion for you, you must understand that excessive worry is totally selfish but is robbing you of your energy. You follow?
If you really want to change, you'll need to make a commitment. But it can be done. I actually was able to stop worrying and I even created a workshop called "Breaking the Grip of Guilt and Worry." Try the mirror. If you stick to it itwill work.
Love & peace, Donny
Posted by: donnybaby
Posted on: 2003-09-11 15:01:34
If you seek counseling to help you stop worrying, there are professionals around. Meanwhile, you might want to do this useful mirror technique...When you're alone, have a talk with yourself in a mirror. Introduce yourself to yourself. Chances are you have never met yourself.
You can bet you won't like the person you see in the mirror! However, if you persist and stick with it, you can begin to change.
While I do have much compassion for you, you must understand that excessive worry is totally selfish but is robbing you of your energy. You follow?
If you really want to change, you'll need to make a commitment. But it can be done. I actually was able to stop worrying and I even created a workshop called "Breaking the Grip of Guilt and Worry." Try the mirror. If you stick to it itwill work.
Love & peace, Donny
Yea use the mirror and have two of you whinning...
Posted by: scooter_
Posted on: 2003-09-11 17:55:38
Or worrying rather than just yourself.
What you need is to break the habit from worrying not whine at yourself in the mirror for doing it. And you need to find something or someone to help you break that habit. If you start to worry go take a bath or a walk just go some place to chill and relax. I would think excessive worrying is brought on from years of habit who knows maybe something happened in your life that set it off.
I myself have one thing that I am constantly worrying about is when I leave the house is if I left the tea kettle on, And why am I so obsessive about it. Cause when I was a kid I put the kettle on to make coffee and being late to work I forgot about it being on. Well, Dad came home before anything serious happened other than ruining the kettle but I got Hell for it for days. Since then I have been known to turn around halfway from going to work to make sure it is not on, and this is about 20 years know but I have gotten better about it LOL a lot better.
As for whining well hell just grow up and stop being a spoiled brat cause that is what you are when you come down to it. You whine cause you want what you want and you want it now. If those around you do not stop you where you whine then heck they deserve to hear you whine cause they allow you to do it.
Posted by: scooter_
Posted on: 2003-09-11 17:55:38
Or worrying rather than just yourself.
What you need is to break the habit from worrying not whine at yourself in the mirror for doing it. And you need to find something or someone to help you break that habit. If you start to worry go take a bath or a walk just go some place to chill and relax. I would think excessive worrying is brought on from years of habit who knows maybe something happened in your life that set it off.
I myself have one thing that I am constantly worrying about is when I leave the house is if I left the tea kettle on, And why am I so obsessive about it. Cause when I was a kid I put the kettle on to make coffee and being late to work I forgot about it being on. Well, Dad came home before anything serious happened other than ruining the kettle but I got Hell for it for days. Since then I have been known to turn around halfway from going to work to make sure it is not on, and this is about 20 years know but I have gotten better about it LOL a lot better.
As for whining well hell just grow up and stop being a spoiled brat cause that is what you are when you come down to it. You whine cause you want what you want and you want it now. If those around you do not stop you where you whine then heck they deserve to hear you whine cause they allow you to do it.
worry
Posted by: fyoosha
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:00:21
I think one of my best responses to generalized anxiety disorder-or worrying, is to set one hour a day aside to worry, and worry only then. I also turn to music. I use quiet calming guitar or flute music, and I turn off the television-or suprisingly just the sound!I imagine the worst in "worry sessions," and try to make the most horrific scenario less likely.b
Posted by: fyoosha
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:00:21
I think one of my best responses to generalized anxiety disorder-or worrying, is to set one hour a day aside to worry, and worry only then. I also turn to music. I use quiet calming guitar or flute music, and I turn off the television-or suprisingly just the sound!I imagine the worst in "worry sessions," and try to make the most horrific scenario less likely.b
Fright and Worry
Posted by: fyoosha
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:07:47
I think one of my best responses to generalized anxiety disorder-or worrying, is to set one hour a day aside to worry, and worry only then. I also turn to music. I use quiet calming guitar or flute music, and I turn off the television-or suprisingly just the sound!I imagine the worst in "worry sessions," and try to make the most horrific scenario less likely.I have largely overcome panic attacks, but my mind is racing still, and I often replay a taped message of my own voice, just to hear how fast my speech is.I'm often suprised anyone can understand me.It's hard to be calm,when daily thoughts intrude, but I'm doing my best daily to overcome the toxic effects of stress and worry.My pets help, my friends help, and my love of acoustic music is a blessing.Prayer is a daily activity.I have great compassion for all those fighting fear,and finding others feel you are "being too self involved." Many who suffer from excessive worry stemming from specific incidents can eventually overcome their terrors, but lack of understanding from others adds to a burden already difficult to bear.ff
Posted by: fyoosha
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:07:47
I think one of my best responses to generalized anxiety disorder-or worrying, is to set one hour a day aside to worry, and worry only then. I also turn to music. I use quiet calming guitar or flute music, and I turn off the television-or suprisingly just the sound!I imagine the worst in "worry sessions," and try to make the most horrific scenario less likely.I have largely overcome panic attacks, but my mind is racing still, and I often replay a taped message of my own voice, just to hear how fast my speech is.I'm often suprised anyone can understand me.It's hard to be calm,when daily thoughts intrude, but I'm doing my best daily to overcome the toxic effects of stress and worry.My pets help, my friends help, and my love of acoustic music is a blessing.Prayer is a daily activity.I have great compassion for all those fighting fear,and finding others feel you are "being too self involved." Many who suffer from excessive worry stemming from specific incidents can eventually overcome their terrors, but lack of understanding from others adds to a burden already difficult to bear.ff
Still worries
Posted by: chinamine
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:16:53
To the person who still worries. I can't give you any self-help ideas, but if you are that disturbed there are drugs that you can take, that do not cause addiction and will help you get rid of the ruminating thoughts that plague you. A good psychiatrist can help. And no, you are not crazy. You probably have a chemical imbalance.
Posted by: chinamine
Posted on: 2003-09-11 16:16:53
To the person who still worries. I can't give you any self-help ideas, but if you are that disturbed there are drugs that you can take, that do not cause addiction and will help you get rid of the ruminating thoughts that plague you. A good psychiatrist can help. And no, you are not crazy. You probably have a chemical imbalance.
To cnspms
Posted by: lizley
Posted on: 2003-09-11 18:21:31
I have all the same worries you do and I consider myself a very extreme case. Especially when I found out my son was born blind, which is tragic for anyone but even worse to someone with obsessive/compulsive disorder. I also have panic attacks about death and where the universe ends and who the heck is up there putting us through all this 911 devastation anyway. Don't worry about being alone. Just picture yourself floating over the town you live in and picture everyone at night in their beds and from up high we are not very far from the person next door. Anyway - you should love your own company. I love being alone because I get to hang out with my favorite person! Anyway.... Prozac has worked wonders, especially when my anxiety stopped me from functioning completely! Give it a try - it's a good buzz and you don't obsess about dying as much ... but the iron ... that's a different story!
Posted by: lizley
Posted on: 2003-09-11 18:21:31
I have all the same worries you do and I consider myself a very extreme case. Especially when I found out my son was born blind, which is tragic for anyone but even worse to someone with obsessive/compulsive disorder. I also have panic attacks about death and where the universe ends and who the heck is up there putting us through all this 911 devastation anyway. Don't worry about being alone. Just picture yourself floating over the town you live in and picture everyone at night in their beds and from up high we are not very far from the person next door. Anyway - you should love your own company. I love being alone because I get to hang out with my favorite person! Anyway.... Prozac has worked wonders, especially when my anxiety stopped me from functioning completely! Give it a try - it's a good buzz and you don't obsess about dying as much ... but the iron ... that's a different story!
help
Posted by: mikaluke
Posted on: 2003-09-11 18:22:38
Paxil combined with weekly therapy sessions will change your life, I promise.
Posted by: mikaluke
Posted on: 2003-09-11 18:22:38
Paxil combined with weekly therapy sessions will change your life, I promise.
Getting outside help
Posted by: hipknow
Posted on: 2003-09-12 13:20:34
Have you considered seeking out a professional counselor to talk to once a week about your anxiety?
Posted by: hipknow
Posted on: 2003-09-12 13:20:34
Have you considered seeking out a professional counselor to talk to once a week about your anxiety?
Attention Worriers...It's Purely Selfish
Posted by: donnybaby
Posted on: 2003-09-11 14:35:27
While I do have compassion for people who worry excessively, worriers need to realize that the worry is never about another. It's all about an insecure feeling about one's own self...it's not about your kids or your parents etc., it's ALWAYS about how YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL if something happens to another (or yourself).
If you are a worrier and truly want to change, (make no mistake, you may not really want to) a valuable first step is to first consider the difference between "concern" and worry. Another point is to ask yourself who would I be if I stopped worrying? I hope this helps somebody.
Love & peace, Donny
Posted by: donnybaby
Posted on: 2003-09-11 14:35:27
While I do have compassion for people who worry excessively, worriers need to realize that the worry is never about another. It's all about an insecure feeling about one's own self...it's not about your kids or your parents etc., it's ALWAYS about how YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL if something happens to another (or yourself).
If you are a worrier and truly want to change, (make no mistake, you may not really want to) a valuable first step is to first consider the difference between "concern" and worry. Another point is to ask yourself who would I be if I stopped worrying? I hope this helps somebody.
Love & peace, Donny
comments of a 12 year old girl
Posted by: llamagal
Posted on: 2003-09-11 15:26:55
Dear Dr.Phill,
I love your show, but I was very upset when you allowed that man named jafar to say that awful comment; "...in a class with RETARDS that SLOBBERED and COULD'NT TIE THIER SHOES." that was completly out of line! My older brother is disabled and it really hurt my feelings when jafar said that. :( I just wish you had told him it was not right to make rude commments about mentally challenged peaople.
yours truly,
ashley
Posted by: llamagal
Posted on: 2003-09-11 15:26:55
Dear Dr.Phill,
I love your show, but I was very upset when you allowed that man named jafar to say that awful comment; "...in a class with RETARDS that SLOBBERED and COULD'NT TIE THIER SHOES." that was completly out of line! My older brother is disabled and it really hurt my feelings when jafar said that. :( I just wish you had told him it was not right to make rude commments about mentally challenged peaople.
yours truly,
ashley
