06/14 Family Matters: An Intervention
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Posted by: vicki1012
Posted on: 2003-11-05 07:01:08
I, too am in the same situation as this family, the only difference is I have no spouse to help and support me. my 20 year old daughter is a "needle" user, has a disease that she has contracted through use,a criminal record, can't hold a job, no relationship at all with me or her older brother. This has gone on since she was 14. My life and my son has been disrupted and solely centered on her and I have walked around with depression over this for years, My son has said throw her out, which I did once, only to let her return and now I'm back at that point again. I don't know how to help her when she refuses help and I don't know how to let her go especially when she has a medical problem, which I might add that bothers me more than her. If I throw her out, she will live with ones just like her and go down even worse(more criminal activity, usage,sexual promiscuity, etc) but I guess she's already doing it so how much worse can it be? I work during Dr. Phil's shows but am going to try to follow this intervention in hopes that it can help and strenghten me also.
Posted by: vicki1012
Posted on: 2003-11-05 07:01:08
I, too am in the same situation as this family, the only difference is I have no spouse to help and support me. my 20 year old daughter is a "needle" user, has a disease that she has contracted through use,a criminal record, can't hold a job, no relationship at all with me or her older brother. This has gone on since she was 14. My life and my son has been disrupted and solely centered on her and I have walked around with depression over this for years, My son has said throw her out, which I did once, only to let her return and now I'm back at that point again. I don't know how to help her when she refuses help and I don't know how to let her go especially when she has a medical problem, which I might add that bothers me more than her. If I throw her out, she will live with ones just like her and go down even worse(more criminal activity, usage,sexual promiscuity, etc) but I guess she's already doing it so how much worse can it be? I work during Dr. Phil's shows but am going to try to follow this intervention in hopes that it can help and strenghten me also.
Posted by: momisme2
Posted on: 2003-11-05 09:21:11
So sorry for your hard times! Hoping you will find strength to do the hard things for your daughters benefit. It sounds as though you are about at that point and hope others stories will be able to give you the courage to do the very hard things it takes in these situations. My best thoughts of peace, strength and love for you. The slideshow speaks of a father who lost his son. Hoping this gives you the strength you will need for the battle ahead. As hard as "tough love" is to do is much harder to have to live the rest of your life without your daughter. I know you know this. Again, all my best to you!
vicki1012
Posted by: southsid
Posted on: 2003-11-05 09:50:24
I am genuinely sorry for your pain but I cannot sit idly by and not speak a very much needed to hear truth. Your daughter will die if she does not get help. My mother did...my sister did...my brother currently is....all because of alcohol and drug abuse....need i say more...go see a priest or other clergy they will help with intervention. Tough love is sooooooooo hard but it comes easily when its your daughters life on the line...and it is very much so on the line. God bless you and your children and I pray he keeps you safe on this very scary journey you are about to embark on.
Posted by: southsid
Posted on: 2003-11-05 09:50:24
I am genuinely sorry for your pain but I cannot sit idly by and not speak a very much needed to hear truth. Your daughter will die if she does not get help. My mother did...my sister did...my brother currently is....all because of alcohol and drug abuse....need i say more...go see a priest or other clergy they will help with intervention. Tough love is sooooooooo hard but it comes easily when its your daughters life on the line...and it is very much so on the line. God bless you and your children and I pray he keeps you safe on this very scary journey you are about to embark on.
good advice
Posted by: lvillegal2
Posted on: 2003-11-06 08:34:20
Are you related to Dr. Phil? That was just exactly right-people just don't want to do what needs to be done.
Posted by: lvillegal2
Posted on: 2003-11-06 08:34:20
Are you related to Dr. Phil? That was just exactly right-people just don't want to do what needs to be done.
thats helpful
Posted by: 2totmom
Posted on: 2005-03-30 21:04:10
can any one be a little bit more clear on what it is you need to do with a 16 year old drug add. maybe i am stuiped but i dont seem to be getting an anwser.we cant find a rehab that takes anyone under the age of 18 in the whole state (there was one that we found at a mere cost of $2000 a month ) we dont know who to call were to go and no one can help us !!!! PLEASE HELP, ANY ONE !!! hes still a baby!
Posted by: 2totmom
Posted on: 2005-03-30 21:04:10
can any one be a little bit more clear on what it is you need to do with a 16 year old drug add. maybe i am stuiped but i dont seem to be getting an anwser.we cant find a rehab that takes anyone under the age of 18 in the whole state (there was one that we found at a mere cost of $2000 a month ) we dont know who to call were to go and no one can help us !!!! PLEASE HELP, ANY ONE !!! hes still a baby!
get help
Posted by: ebawol
Posted on: 2003-11-05 14:03:51
Please get professional intervention help. An intervention is much too volitial not to have professional help. The addict is way too skilled at manipulating you. Please also get help for yourself whether or not your daughter seeks treatment. Try alanon or families anonomyous.
Posted by: ebawol
Posted on: 2003-11-05 14:03:51
Please get professional intervention help. An intervention is much too volitial not to have professional help. The addict is way too skilled at manipulating you. Please also get help for yourself whether or not your daughter seeks treatment. Try alanon or families anonomyous.
Get Help
Posted by: dukes88
Posted on: 2003-11-05 20:48:34
I agree with everyone you must seek help. My friends son killed himself and he was doing a lot of different drugs. We are now all having to deal with this death. They are now ignoring the fact that drugs were a major part in his death. They tried to deal with it themselves. You can't you need professional help.
Posted by: dukes88
Posted on: 2003-11-05 20:48:34
I agree with everyone you must seek help. My friends son killed himself and he was doing a lot of different drugs. We are now all having to deal with this death. They are now ignoring the fact that drugs were a major part in his death. They tried to deal with it themselves. You can't you need professional help.
GET HELP
Posted by: racing2
Posted on: 2003-11-05 23:35:28
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU PROFESSIONALS GIVE UP AND GET THEM TO SING OUT OF THE PROGRAM THEY ARE IN
Posted by: racing2
Posted on: 2003-11-05 23:35:28
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU PROFESSIONALS GIVE UP AND GET THEM TO SING OUT OF THE PROGRAM THEY ARE IN
racing 2
Posted by: bwood143
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:21:11
You keep searching. Contact the nearest Church or Social Services Department and have them continue to refer until the right Professional is found. There is always hope and there is someone out there to help. You just have to keep searching. Pray, God will lead you to the next step. Talk to friends and family members, find out if they know of another provider, just don't give up...
Posted by: bwood143
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:21:11
You keep searching. Contact the nearest Church or Social Services Department and have them continue to refer until the right Professional is found. There is always hope and there is someone out there to help. You just have to keep searching. Pray, God will lead you to the next step. Talk to friends and family members, find out if they know of another provider, just don't give up...
addiction
Posted by: why2003
Posted on: 2003-12-08 21:37:15
my son is in jail. He has been in rehab three time without completion. What do I do now? How can I help him? What comes after jail?
Posted by: why2003
Posted on: 2003-12-08 21:37:15
my son is in jail. He has been in rehab three time without completion. What do I do now? How can I help him? What comes after jail?
addiction
Posted by: why2003
Posted on: 2003-12-08 21:41:34
I have been at this for more than three years. I go to weekly meeting. Yet I still looking for some kind of answer because let go and let God.
Posted by: why2003
Posted on: 2003-12-08 21:41:34
I have been at this for more than three years. I go to weekly meeting. Yet I still looking for some kind of answer because let go and let God.
Posted by: ypersa
Posted on: 2004-06-14 18:53:35
How old is your son???? He at this point needs to help himself. I went to rehab at a young age and it was only for drinking, when I left I was into much more drugs that I thought were better than alchol. I learned this at rehab. So jail is sort of the same, either you learn or you get better at the mistake you were in there for. Good luck and many blessigs.
SUPPORT GROUPS
Posted by: seagent
Posted on: 2003-11-05 16:19:23
Please find a christian based support group in your area and begin attending the meetings on a regular bases. The truth will hurt but you need to hear it. You are as in as much need as your daughter as you are dependent on her to get well so that you can get well. The truth is if you will get well than she has a better chance of recovery. But you will have to be very strong. You will have to believe that God loves her more than you do and that He will protect her through it all. You have some tough decisions that need to be made so that your whole family can recover. Go to a group and listen. You will begin to see how God is working through each situation with His absolute truth. Than seek His face and He will let you know what you must do to help and not enable anymore. You are her safety net but that's not your job anymore. She's an adult and she has to take responsibility for herself and her actions. I pray you will seek help before it's too late. Remember God loves you too!
Posted by: seagent
Posted on: 2003-11-05 16:19:23
Please find a christian based support group in your area and begin attending the meetings on a regular bases. The truth will hurt but you need to hear it. You are as in as much need as your daughter as you are dependent on her to get well so that you can get well. The truth is if you will get well than she has a better chance of recovery. But you will have to be very strong. You will have to believe that God loves her more than you do and that He will protect her through it all. You have some tough decisions that need to be made so that your whole family can recover. Go to a group and listen. You will begin to see how God is working through each situation with His absolute truth. Than seek His face and He will let you know what you must do to help and not enable anymore. You are her safety net but that's not your job anymore. She's an adult and she has to take responsibility for herself and her actions. I pray you will seek help before it's too late. Remember God loves you too!
what Al-anon is
Posted by: estersmom1
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:01:55
here, take a look at what Al- anon is at www.al-anon.alateen.org here you can find a meetings and get to know what this is all about.
Posted by: estersmom1
Posted on: 2003-11-06 09:01:55
here, take a look at what Al- anon is at www.al-anon.alateen.org here you can find a meetings and get to know what this is all about.
I know what you are going through
Posted by: heatherh02
Posted on: 2003-11-05 17:05:06
I am 19 years old and I used to be addicted to Crystal Meth. I had never did drugs before. I thought that I had the will power to say no to anybody. then I got caught up in the wrong crowd. I thought that I would never be addicted to any kind of drug. I started the week before my graduation and after I tried it the first time I was hooked. It changed my whole life. I spent all of my graduation money on this and I treated my parents so horribly that they kicked me out. I was out liveing from friends house to friends house. That actually is what changed it all around for me. I couldnt do it anymore. I didnt know where I was going to sleep from night to night or when I was going to eat my next meal. You just have to do what you feel is right for your daughter. If kicking her out will help than you have to do it for your daughters sake. Do what you have to do no matter how hard it is for you. In the end it will be so much easier if your daughter is alive and you can say that you didnt back down. I hope you get through this and everything turns out okay.
Posted by: heatherh02
Posted on: 2003-11-05 17:05:06
I am 19 years old and I used to be addicted to Crystal Meth. I had never did drugs before. I thought that I had the will power to say no to anybody. then I got caught up in the wrong crowd. I thought that I would never be addicted to any kind of drug. I started the week before my graduation and after I tried it the first time I was hooked. It changed my whole life. I spent all of my graduation money on this and I treated my parents so horribly that they kicked me out. I was out liveing from friends house to friends house. That actually is what changed it all around for me. I couldnt do it anymore. I didnt know where I was going to sleep from night to night or when I was going to eat my next meal. You just have to do what you feel is right for your daughter. If kicking her out will help than you have to do it for your daughters sake. Do what you have to do no matter how hard it is for you. In the end it will be so much easier if your daughter is alive and you can say that you didnt back down. I hope you get through this and everything turns out okay.
Posted by: itstolate
Posted on: 2003-11-05 22:46:03
Heatherh02
Thank you for your insite into the addiction of Crystal Meth. My 17 year old son is addited to this drug. He has dropped out of school, has been arrested for possision and is up on trafficing charges. We have had him arrested our selfs, gone through the court system and have told him he can't stay at home unless he follows are rules. He is currently living with a 22 year old lady, who has two kids and the only time we see him is if he wants money(which I will not give him). My husband does however give him money on occasion but only if he works for it on the farm. We are hoping that the lady will through him out or he just can't make it on his own. Hoping he returns to us as you have to your family. This drug has caused my son to lose over 60lbs, quite school and quite sports, and made him in to a person I do not know. I can't begin to telling how much money and time I have spent on this child. I am at my wits end.
not to late
Posted by: mpsfairy
Posted on: 2003-11-07 23:35:20
IT IS NOT TO LATE! When I was 16 I was in all kinds of trouble. I like your son had dropped out of school, I was on drugs, drinking, having sex. You name it I was doing it. My parents where having nervous breakdowns and felt hopeless. They decided to send me to a treatment/behavior modification school. It is called Cross Creek. You can find information about it on the web. This was the best decision my parents made! I am so so grateful that they sent me there! I am 22 now and attending college in Florida! My parents and I have the best relationship ever. I am happy and love life again! Never think it is to late!
Posted by: mpsfairy
Posted on: 2003-11-07 23:35:20
IT IS NOT TO LATE! When I was 16 I was in all kinds of trouble. I like your son had dropped out of school, I was on drugs, drinking, having sex. You name it I was doing it. My parents where having nervous breakdowns and felt hopeless. They decided to send me to a treatment/behavior modification school. It is called Cross Creek. You can find information about it on the web. This was the best decision my parents made! I am so so grateful that they sent me there! I am 22 now and attending college in Florida! My parents and I have the best relationship ever. I am happy and love life again! Never think it is to late!
any advice?
Posted by: careen22
Posted on: 2003-11-16 03:03:56
How wonderful for you...can you give us some helpful advice on how your parents got you to go? Our daughter needs help and she is 20.
Any advice would be appreciated. Did they say where Brandon was going? Was it Cross Creek?
Thanks....Carrie
Posted by: careen22
Posted on: 2003-11-16 03:03:56
How wonderful for you...can you give us some helpful advice on how your parents got you to go? Our daughter needs help and she is 20.
Any advice would be appreciated. Did they say where Brandon was going? Was it Cross Creek?
Thanks....Carrie
Posted by: jerseygrl6
Posted on: 2004-06-14 14:53:32
itstolate. first off i wish you the best. Second off you realize that you can have this 22 year old woman arrested. If your son is 17 and I am assuming that they are probablly having intercourse. WHich makes that staturatory rape in most states. Thats the first step second step is that you have to cut him off totally which includes your husband allowing him to work on your farm for drug money. Because that is what its going to and there for your husband is being an enalber to your son. I know he probablly doesnt see that. And that you two only want the best for him. Well I wish you the best.
