11/03 Extreme Behaviors and Disorders
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Posted by: charnac
Posted on: 2004-11-02 11:55:33
In the late 1980's and early 1990's I attended a therapy support group and individual counseling which concentrated on woman who were sexually, physically and emotional abused by more than one person. A small group of woman, located in Albuquerque New Mexico was trying to overcome all types of self destructive behavior which included drug addiction, bad marriages, cutting ourselves, burning ourselves, harming ourselves any way we could and demonstrating extremely outrageous behavior which at that time few therapist seem to understand. After a 5 year plus program and with the help of extremely well educated counselors our group learned through various recovery books we were harming ourselves in search of finding ways to release the pain we felt inside. The self hatred and deep emotions we could not share with the world around us. These workbooks for sexually abused individuals helped show us how to develop a new past without self destruction behaviors. These recovery programs were as difficult to finish as Dr Phil's books and workbooks are today. The rewards far out weighed the time and the struggle to complete each assignment and helped us to understand the why and how of what we had done with this form of expression and what we needed to do in order to control our compulsions which had manifested from abuse. Of the 35 woman who started this series of programs only 10 of us completed the work required. Today the world has Dr. Phil who is reaching out to help parents learn what harm comes to people like me when we have been neglected, ignored, beaten, and molested. I hope all who hear his shows, read his books come to understand no person is born wanting to destroy themselves. I am sad that there is still such a great need for adults to comprehend how powerful we are as parents and caretakers; the influence we have on our children and with others. For anyone who harms themselves please know there is help. You do not stand alone. The shame does fade with our new past. To Dr. Phil, Thank you for continuing to carry on the crusade for all of us who want to change the past and break the cycles of abuse allowing us to become better parents and enjoying the lives we have now created; regardless of what we did in our destructive past. I continue to learn and now am making additional changes through other Dr. Phil's books as I have come to understand there is no shame in reaching out and continuing to seek resources to control my behavior. To anyone who is on the show today or read this message know there is a person that cares, understands, and prays you will find your way.
Posted by: charnac
Posted on: 2004-11-02 11:55:33
In the late 1980's and early 1990's I attended a therapy support group and individual counseling which concentrated on woman who were sexually, physically and emotional abused by more than one person. A small group of woman, located in Albuquerque New Mexico was trying to overcome all types of self destructive behavior which included drug addiction, bad marriages, cutting ourselves, burning ourselves, harming ourselves any way we could and demonstrating extremely outrageous behavior which at that time few therapist seem to understand. After a 5 year plus program and with the help of extremely well educated counselors our group learned through various recovery books we were harming ourselves in search of finding ways to release the pain we felt inside. The self hatred and deep emotions we could not share with the world around us. These workbooks for sexually abused individuals helped show us how to develop a new past without self destruction behaviors. These recovery programs were as difficult to finish as Dr Phil's books and workbooks are today. The rewards far out weighed the time and the struggle to complete each assignment and helped us to understand the why and how of what we had done with this form of expression and what we needed to do in order to control our compulsions which had manifested from abuse. Of the 35 woman who started this series of programs only 10 of us completed the work required. Today the world has Dr. Phil who is reaching out to help parents learn what harm comes to people like me when we have been neglected, ignored, beaten, and molested. I hope all who hear his shows, read his books come to understand no person is born wanting to destroy themselves. I am sad that there is still such a great need for adults to comprehend how powerful we are as parents and caretakers; the influence we have on our children and with others. For anyone who harms themselves please know there is help. You do not stand alone. The shame does fade with our new past. To Dr. Phil, Thank you for continuing to carry on the crusade for all of us who want to change the past and break the cycles of abuse allowing us to become better parents and enjoying the lives we have now created; regardless of what we did in our destructive past. I continue to learn and now am making additional changes through other Dr. Phil's books as I have come to understand there is no shame in reaching out and continuing to seek resources to control my behavior. To anyone who is on the show today or read this message know there is a person that cares, understands, and prays you will find your way.
UNDERSTANDING THE TROUBLING CHAOS
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-03 15:08:24
How would it be to live in a body that is RELAXED AND TRUSTING, is something that an abused person often does not know. Children and adults who experience psychotrauma due to sexual, physical, verbal, emotional, recreational abuse or neglect are known to carry the confusion, fear, frustration, anxiety and depression of their abuse into their later years of life. The intensity and frequency of the psychotrauma are major determining factors. It is these lingering emotional issues that many believe are responsible for ATTACHMENT DISORDERS, SELF-RESPECT, ABUSIVE and ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS. My favorites relating to these topics are:
Healing Anxiety And Depression: Heal the 7 Types of Anxiety and Depression by Daniel G., Md. Amen, Lisa C., M.D. Routh
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier
Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor) or Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson
Wiehe
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Hope it helps!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-03 15:08:24
How would it be to live in a body that is RELAXED AND TRUSTING, is something that an abused person often does not know. Children and adults who experience psychotrauma due to sexual, physical, verbal, emotional, recreational abuse or neglect are known to carry the confusion, fear, frustration, anxiety and depression of their abuse into their later years of life. The intensity and frequency of the psychotrauma are major determining factors. It is these lingering emotional issues that many believe are responsible for ATTACHMENT DISORDERS, SELF-RESPECT, ABUSIVE and ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS. My favorites relating to these topics are:
Healing Anxiety And Depression: Heal the 7 Types of Anxiety and Depression by Daniel G., Md. Amen, Lisa C., M.D. Routh
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier
Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor) or Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson
Wiehe
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Hope it helps!
THE ANGRY HEART - ANXIETY AND ADDICTIONS
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-04 21:15:18
If you can get beyond the title the following book will provide some get insight into the subject of cutting and other addictive behaviors:
The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide by Ph.D. Joseph Santoro, Ph.D. Ronald Cohen, Ronald Jay Cohen
The book is designed to be used with or without a therapist. But if you are cutting you should seek the assistance of a qualified therapist.
Hope it helps!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-04 21:15:18
If you can get beyond the title the following book will provide some get insight into the subject of cutting and other addictive behaviors:
The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide by Ph.D. Joseph Santoro, Ph.D. Ronald Cohen, Ronald Jay Cohen
The book is designed to be used with or without a therapist. But if you are cutting you should seek the assistance of a qualified therapist.
Hope it helps!
Re:
Posted by: jb32882
Posted on: 2004-11-03 17:08:31
Hi, I was moved by Dr. Phil's show today because I feel that by reaching out is the first step to recovery. I've been a cutter for nearly 10 years, and about 5 months ago I made a promise to my boyfriend (who I'm now engaged to) that I would never cut again. So far it has worked, but only because I feel I don't want to ever hurt him, and I want to be the perfect mate for him.
I never quite knew how to ever handle my depression, which alot of times led to self mutilation and suicidal thoughts. I had alot of physical and mental abuse that had went on in my family, and to this day I still encounter the put downs. Sometimes I get the urges to cut, but then I remind myself of the one person I made a commitment to, the one person who in the future will become my husband.
What I feel is the most helpful for those who self injure is to write down how you are feeling because the worst thing you could do is keep it all bottled up inside, because I found out by doing that will just lead to even more self destructive behavior. I tend to write poetry when I'm feeling down or when I get the urge to cut, and in the end I feel better because I can always turn my talent into a healing tool for those who are just like me. It sucks when you feel alone, but always remember - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Posted by: jb32882
Posted on: 2004-11-03 17:08:31
Hi, I was moved by Dr. Phil's show today because I feel that by reaching out is the first step to recovery. I've been a cutter for nearly 10 years, and about 5 months ago I made a promise to my boyfriend (who I'm now engaged to) that I would never cut again. So far it has worked, but only because I feel I don't want to ever hurt him, and I want to be the perfect mate for him.
I never quite knew how to ever handle my depression, which alot of times led to self mutilation and suicidal thoughts. I had alot of physical and mental abuse that had went on in my family, and to this day I still encounter the put downs. Sometimes I get the urges to cut, but then I remind myself of the one person I made a commitment to, the one person who in the future will become my husband.
What I feel is the most helpful for those who self injure is to write down how you are feeling because the worst thing you could do is keep it all bottled up inside, because I found out by doing that will just lead to even more self destructive behavior. I tend to write poetry when I'm feeling down or when I get the urge to cut, and in the end I feel better because I can always turn my talent into a healing tool for those who are just like me. It sucks when you feel alone, but always remember - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Posted by: ravenchild
Posted on: 2004-11-09 16:07:58
Hello...
I've had a similar situation...I'm currently 19...I've been a cutter for almost 8 years. I've also been diagnosed with BPD and participated in DBT therapy. My junior year of high school I was sent to the mental hospital for three weeks because I put 350 cuts on my body. My mother had no idea until I was 16 that I was a cutter. I lost many of my friends and isolated myself from my family to hide it. No one knew how to deal with it. After the mental hospital it slowed down but never completely stopped. I got married very very early and my husband left because of my mental problems. I also dropped out of high school and lost a full scholarship to a very good university. He couldn't deal with them and I was impossible and refused to change. The day he left I put the worst scar I have on my body on my arm. It's very very visible and a constant reminder of how low I got. I'm very proud to say I am still friends with my ex husband, he's very supportive. I also recently started dating again and my boyfriend is a former cutter. We've made a promise not to cut for each other. I haven't cut in 4 months. This is the longest I have gone without cutting. When I feel the urge to cut, I write poems, make music, call people and play my favorite video game. Anything to keep my hands occupied. Sometimes it's painful but I know if I go back it will be that much harder to stop. I'm also very happy to announce I'm attending college and planning on majoring in computer science. My boyfriend cares for me even if I am a big bundle of scar tissue. I have over 150 scars. He cares for me, my friends are proud of me and my life has completely turned around. The thing that helped everything change? Knowing that I wasn't alone and that there were people there to support me and hope I stopped hurting.
Posted by: fungrl87
Posted on: 2005-01-09 17:04:10
I have a story like yours, I have never been diagnosed with anything. I'm 17 I've been only cutting for 2 years. I'm a junior in high school, and I do internet classes because at one point I dropped out of school. My cutting has receintly got really bad, and some people want me to check in a mental hospital but I really don't want to, but I do want to ge4t help. My gardian parents who I have lived with for two years know I have done it, but they keep on thinking I have quiet. Their pastor and them just say stop doing it, but they don't really think it is a big deal. I did stop cutting my arms and my writs so people think I stopped, but instead I'm cutting my stomach which I have put easily over 100 cuts on and I have 20 cuts on my arm and I have at least 5 scars that you can really see. If anyone has suggestion please share.
once in your shoes
Posted by: hpboston
Posted on: 2005-01-31 15:53:04
Hi fungrl, I used to cut--started end of high school, through college and early 20's (I'm now 26)--and I have gotten some great help, mostly through a therapist. If your pastor and/or guardian parents are giving you the impression that cutting is not a big deal, they are dead wrong. It is a symptom that something is very wrong, powerfully wrong--and I do think that cutting is a coping mechanism, something you do to try to help yourself, but it won't solve the underlying problems--in my experience, it made me feel better for a little bit, but much worse for a long time. And that's not good for you. I started to get better when I was able to work with a therapist I really trusted and respected. Will your guardians support you in seeing a counselor? You also should shop around--not every therapist is good at or experienced at working with self-injuring girls, and you might not like every therapist. Lots of times they'll let you have one free trial session so you can see how you get along. I think it is great that you want to get help--that is the beginning and means that you can stop. I believe that you can get better.
Posted by: hpboston
Posted on: 2005-01-31 15:53:04
Hi fungrl, I used to cut--started end of high school, through college and early 20's (I'm now 26)--and I have gotten some great help, mostly through a therapist. If your pastor and/or guardian parents are giving you the impression that cutting is not a big deal, they are dead wrong. It is a symptom that something is very wrong, powerfully wrong--and I do think that cutting is a coping mechanism, something you do to try to help yourself, but it won't solve the underlying problems--in my experience, it made me feel better for a little bit, but much worse for a long time. And that's not good for you. I started to get better when I was able to work with a therapist I really trusted and respected. Will your guardians support you in seeing a counselor? You also should shop around--not every therapist is good at or experienced at working with self-injuring girls, and you might not like every therapist. Lots of times they'll let you have one free trial session so you can see how you get along. I think it is great that you want to get help--that is the beginning and means that you can stop. I believe that you can get better.
stuggling
Posted by: mcspinkle
Posted on: 2005-01-31 17:07:59
i am 15 and havent cut in almost 3 months and its driving me insane. that urge suddenly comes and i go insane and vent to my one teacher who i am really good friends with but unfortunately she doesnt specialize in physcology so its not exactly "the help i need" she is awesome and i wud probably be dead if it werent for her but she isnt always around, like 24/7. my shrink sucks and i dread going to see him but my parents think he is a miracle worker and are now sitting in the sessions w/ us which is so not right. any help or advice?
Posted by: mcspinkle
Posted on: 2005-01-31 17:07:59
i am 15 and havent cut in almost 3 months and its driving me insane. that urge suddenly comes and i go insane and vent to my one teacher who i am really good friends with but unfortunately she doesnt specialize in physcology so its not exactly "the help i need" she is awesome and i wud probably be dead if it werent for her but she isnt always around, like 24/7. my shrink sucks and i dread going to see him but my parents think he is a miracle worker and are now sitting in the sessions w/ us which is so not right. any help or advice?
Posted by: nikki2cute
Posted on: 2005-02-04 16:12:37
HI IM NIKKI,
IM THE MOTHER OF A CUTTER MY DAUGHTER IS 13YRS OLD AND HAS BEEN CUTTING SINCE SHE WAS IN THE 6TH GRADE AS SOON AS SHE STARTED MIDDLE SCHOOL I GUESS THE STRESS AND PRESSURE TO FIT IN WAS TOO MUCH FOR HER I HAVE RECENTLY PUT HER IN THERAPY AND SHE HASENT CUT FOR 2 MONTHS NOW WHAT SHE DOSE TO FIGHT THE URG TO CUT IS SHE WEARS A RUBBER BAND ON HER WRIST AND WHEN SHE WANTS TO CUT SHE SNAPS THE RUBBERBAND SHE SAID IT WORKS FOR THAT MOMENT AND FEELS KINDA THE SAME WITHOUT THE DAMAGE TRY IT HOPE I WAS HELPFUL IF YOU WAS TO TALK EMAIL ME OR HER AT ENIKKI2CUTE@AOL.COM OR
HER AT JUSTBRATTYC @AOL.COM
Keep on hanging in there
Posted by: m1altese
Posted on: 2005-04-16 11:49:49
That is so wonderful that your daughter is in therapy for her cutting, and even more wonderful that it is effective. I've tried the elastic band, but I snapped it too much and got great big bruises and welts around my wrist... which isn't much better than cutting/burning/hitting. That's awesome that it works for her though, and I'm sure you are very proud of her for working on stopping.
I'm Karen, a cutter for 3 years, a self-mutilator since childhood. I have had trichotillomania (hair pulling) for as long as I can remember. I was really glad to see some of this covered on this episode of Dr. Phil, because it's important to get the topic out in the open. People do cut and hair pull and many other things, and they need support. It's really hard to stop, but I'm sure it is possible. Keep hanging in there everyone...
Posted by: m1altese
Posted on: 2005-04-16 11:49:49
That is so wonderful that your daughter is in therapy for her cutting, and even more wonderful that it is effective. I've tried the elastic band, but I snapped it too much and got great big bruises and welts around my wrist... which isn't much better than cutting/burning/hitting. That's awesome that it works for her though, and I'm sure you are very proud of her for working on stopping.
I'm Karen, a cutter for 3 years, a self-mutilator since childhood. I have had trichotillomania (hair pulling) for as long as I can remember. I was really glad to see some of this covered on this episode of Dr. Phil, because it's important to get the topic out in the open. People do cut and hair pull and many other things, and they need support. It's really hard to stop, but I'm sure it is possible. Keep hanging in there everyone...
hi
Posted by: fungrl87
Posted on: 2005-03-17 20:46:51
Sorry I just got this message I went into a mental institute I jsut got out a month ago my gardian parents dropped there gardianship. I live with my mom but I'm moving with my friend. Thanx for you advise I have cut for almost a month. I'm not in therpy though I know I should but a lot is going on with my family right now.
Posted by: fungrl87
Posted on: 2005-03-17 20:46:51
Sorry I just got this message I went into a mental institute I jsut got out a month ago my gardian parents dropped there gardianship. I live with my mom but I'm moving with my friend. Thanx for you advise I have cut for almost a month. I'm not in therpy though I know I should but a lot is going on with my family right now.
Posted by: ravenchild
Posted on: 2004-11-09 22:41:51
Hello...
I've had a similar situation...I'm currently 19...I've been a cutter for almost 8 years. I've also been diagnosed with BPD and participated in DBT therapy. My junior year of high school I was sent to the mental hospital for three weeks because I put 350 cuts on my body. My mother had no idea until I was 16 that I was a cutter. I lost many of my friends and isolated myself from my family to hide it. No one knew how to deal with it. After the mental hospital it slowed down but never completely stopped. I got married very very early and my husband left because of my mental problems. I also dropped out of high school and lost a full scholarship to a very good university. He couldn't deal with them and I was impossible and refused to change. The day he left I put the worst scar I have on my body on my arm. It's very very visible and a constant reminder of how low I got. I'm very proud to say I am still friends with my ex husband, he's very supportive. I also recently started dating again and my boyfriend is a former cutter. We've made a promise not to cut for each other. I haven't cut in 4 months. This is the longest I have gone without cutting. When I feel the urge to cut, I write poems, make music, call people and play my favorite video game. Anything to keep my hands occupied. Sometimes it's painful but I know if I go back it will be that much harder to stop. I'm also very happy to announce I'm attending college and planning on majoring in computer science. My boyfriend cares for me even if I am a big bundle of scar tissue. I have over 150 scars. He cares for me, my friends are proud of me and my life has completely turned around. The thing that helped everything change? Knowing that I wasn't alone and that there were people there to support me and hope I stopped hurting.
WOW
Posted by: selfhurt
Posted on: 2005-01-24 22:07:16
I have never heard of anyone with a story so close to mine. Im 19, and a cutter. I married shortly after my 18th birthday to an amazing man. Just amazing, so i have the support you talk of. Yet I dont know that I can ever stop cutting. I have OCD, but I guess all cutters do in a way. Im amazed by your story, I just dont see how you stopped. I was admitted into a hospital with almost 400 cuts on my arms and stomach alone. It did slow down when I was released, but never stopped. I just dont have anyone who understands. They are all mainly shocked, I like you have been doing this for about 7 years now and my family first found out when I was 15. They didnt understand it, so they thought it just cured itself. When I was still cutting for another 3 years. My husband just couldnt handle it and said I truely needed the help. How can I, like you stop? Please help if you can.
Posted by: selfhurt
Posted on: 2005-01-24 22:07:16
I have never heard of anyone with a story so close to mine. Im 19, and a cutter. I married shortly after my 18th birthday to an amazing man. Just amazing, so i have the support you talk of. Yet I dont know that I can ever stop cutting. I have OCD, but I guess all cutters do in a way. Im amazed by your story, I just dont see how you stopped. I was admitted into a hospital with almost 400 cuts on my arms and stomach alone. It did slow down when I was released, but never stopped. I just dont have anyone who understands. They are all mainly shocked, I like you have been doing this for about 7 years now and my family first found out when I was 15. They didnt understand it, so they thought it just cured itself. When I was still cutting for another 3 years. My husband just couldnt handle it and said I truely needed the help. How can I, like you stop? Please help if you can.
you are not alone
Posted by: jaf7kds
Posted on: 2004-11-03 17:53:27
Danielle displays signs of borderline personality disorder. Something that my daughter of 25 has suffered from for 13 years, yet was only properly diagnosed last year. She was a self injurer, was in a program in Chicago called the SAFE program and was dismissed after a week for burning. Being in treatment for self injury will not help someone with borderline. Have you ever discussed this disorder on your show. It is the most hearbreaking of mental illness and the most difficult to treat. We are still looking for coping skills that will work. DBT is supposedly the most effective treatment but it is difficult to find groups treating this particular disorder. Do you have any leads on getting help.
Posted by: jaf7kds
Posted on: 2004-11-03 17:53:27
Danielle displays signs of borderline personality disorder. Something that my daughter of 25 has suffered from for 13 years, yet was only properly diagnosed last year. She was a self injurer, was in a program in Chicago called the SAFE program and was dismissed after a week for burning. Being in treatment for self injury will not help someone with borderline. Have you ever discussed this disorder on your show. It is the most hearbreaking of mental illness and the most difficult to treat. We are still looking for coping skills that will work. DBT is supposedly the most effective treatment but it is difficult to find groups treating this particular disorder. Do you have any leads on getting help.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted by: laswegan
Posted on: 2004-11-03 19:27:31
I had a past relationhip with a man with BPD. It is an extremely difficult illness for the "non-BPD" to deal with. Additionally difficult when the BPD is a family member, where you wish to maintain a level of relationship.
I have found the following online resource to be incredibly helpful for the 'non' BPD, ie mother, sister, daugther, spouse of the BPD. The site also maintains a terrific online message board where you can ask questions, learn coping skills, while discussing with others with the same experiences.
I hope it helps!
www.bpdcentral.com
Remember to get help for yourself! You need to take care of yourself, get treatment, and forgive yourself!
Many Blessings
LA
Posted by: laswegan
Posted on: 2004-11-03 19:27:31
I had a past relationhip with a man with BPD. It is an extremely difficult illness for the "non-BPD" to deal with. Additionally difficult when the BPD is a family member, where you wish to maintain a level of relationship.
I have found the following online resource to be incredibly helpful for the 'non' BPD, ie mother, sister, daugther, spouse of the BPD. The site also maintains a terrific online message board where you can ask questions, learn coping skills, while discussing with others with the same experiences.
I hope it helps!
www.bpdcentral.com
Remember to get help for yourself! You need to take care of yourself, get treatment, and forgive yourself!
Many Blessings
LA
BPD
Posted by: plummer868
Posted on: 2004-11-03 19:34:19
I too, excercised self injury as a coping method for years as a young adolescent and lived in and out of hospitals. One of the diagnoses that was being mentioned (among others) was Borderline Personality Disorder. They never actually gave me that label, but decided to stick me with another: Bi-Polar Disorder Type II, or Manic Depression. DBT is an excellent method highly effective in the treatment of BPD or Bi-Polar Disorder as I went through much of it myself. Though, it does help, you have to be open to the help for it to work. Often, times, self-injurers want to quit, yet they are terrified of letting go of the only method of "grieving" they know. Also, many with Borderline, myself included, did not want the help, they are content to stay in their own little world. Though that is not always the case, it is a troublesome place to be in. Some communitites, depending on its size, will offer DBT classes once a month or so, check with the Health District in the community, I know they do here and some other places. The best thing you can do is to not let her push you away.
Posted by: plummer868
Posted on: 2004-11-03 19:34:19
I too, excercised self injury as a coping method for years as a young adolescent and lived in and out of hospitals. One of the diagnoses that was being mentioned (among others) was Borderline Personality Disorder. They never actually gave me that label, but decided to stick me with another: Bi-Polar Disorder Type II, or Manic Depression. DBT is an excellent method highly effective in the treatment of BPD or Bi-Polar Disorder as I went through much of it myself. Though, it does help, you have to be open to the help for it to work. Often, times, self-injurers want to quit, yet they are terrified of letting go of the only method of "grieving" they know. Also, many with Borderline, myself included, did not want the help, they are content to stay in their own little world. Though that is not always the case, it is a troublesome place to be in. Some communitites, depending on its size, will offer DBT classes once a month or so, check with the Health District in the community, I know they do here and some other places. The best thing you can do is to not let her push you away.
Me Too
Posted by: dlgoz1
Posted on: 2004-11-04 10:21:52
I also used cutting, but I mostly used it when I was angry. I couldn't get my anger out except for either cutting or screaming and yelling. I was also given the diagnosis of Bi-Polar II. At first my therapists thought I was Borderline, but after many, many hospitalizations they (my doctors and therapists) realized I suffered from PTSD, and Bi-Polar. You had refered to DBT as a method of treatment, what does that stand for? Currently I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I haven't cut myself in over 3 months. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. Could someone please let me know about DBT.
Posted by: dlgoz1
Posted on: 2004-11-04 10:21:52
I also used cutting, but I mostly used it when I was angry. I couldn't get my anger out except for either cutting or screaming and yelling. I was also given the diagnosis of Bi-Polar II. At first my therapists thought I was Borderline, but after many, many hospitalizations they (my doctors and therapists) realized I suffered from PTSD, and Bi-Polar. You had refered to DBT as a method of treatment, what does that stand for? Currently I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I haven't cut myself in over 3 months. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. Could someone please let me know about DBT.
Wish I Were As Lucky..
Posted by: gloomylife
Posted on: 2004-11-04 19:48:21
I can't seem to stop cutting. I've tried but I've always come back to it. It's been about a year now and I'm 16. It's progressing way too far and I know I need help since in the past day I've cut myself about 150 times. I've been contacting many treatment centers trying to find the one I think is best for me. When I find the one I'm going to walk up to my mom hand her the paper and show her my scars. I hope it works peacefully...
Posted by: gloomylife
Posted on: 2004-11-04 19:48:21
I can't seem to stop cutting. I've tried but I've always come back to it. It's been about a year now and I'm 16. It's progressing way too far and I know I need help since in the past day I've cut myself about 150 times. I've been contacting many treatment centers trying to find the one I think is best for me. When I find the one I'm going to walk up to my mom hand her the paper and show her my scars. I hope it works peacefully...
gloom no more
Posted by: mismindles
Posted on: 2004-11-06 00:01:03
I want you to know that there is hope for you. I started cutting when I was 15 and I was a very sad teenager at that time. A lot of my friends cut themselves and it seemed like the only way to cope. I wrote poems about it and thrived on it, but I am proud to anounce that I am 31 and have been cut-free since my sophmore year in high school. I am a happy, no not just happy, a "JOYOUS" adult and a very fun and silly mom and a great wife.
The suggestion I am about to make will require some serious open-mindedness, but I believe it will be worth it.
I beat the habit by turning it over to God. I decided one day to change my life. I was a goth girl and all my friends were too and it just seemed like once I changed my life, I suddenly had no desire to be around the kind of people I was hanging around with. They were nice people, but they thrived on depression and all the sadness and anger in the world. I suddenly found myself drawn to a new group of teenagers- CHristian teenagers and my life just got better and better. I am not saying all of this to convince you to have a massive conversion. To each his own, but for me, it was the cure all and did not only help me stop cutting, but has helped me through every sad or bad time I have ever had in my life.
Posted by: mismindles
Posted on: 2004-11-06 00:01:03
I want you to know that there is hope for you. I started cutting when I was 15 and I was a very sad teenager at that time. A lot of my friends cut themselves and it seemed like the only way to cope. I wrote poems about it and thrived on it, but I am proud to anounce that I am 31 and have been cut-free since my sophmore year in high school. I am a happy, no not just happy, a "JOYOUS" adult and a very fun and silly mom and a great wife.
The suggestion I am about to make will require some serious open-mindedness, but I believe it will be worth it.
I beat the habit by turning it over to God. I decided one day to change my life. I was a goth girl and all my friends were too and it just seemed like once I changed my life, I suddenly had no desire to be around the kind of people I was hanging around with. They were nice people, but they thrived on depression and all the sadness and anger in the world. I suddenly found myself drawn to a new group of teenagers- CHristian teenagers and my life just got better and better. I am not saying all of this to convince you to have a massive conversion. To each his own, but for me, it was the cure all and did not only help me stop cutting, but has helped me through every sad or bad time I have ever had in my life.
Thank You!
Posted by: peachtree5
Posted on: 2004-11-07 16:35:22
Thank you so much for your inspiring message. I recently found out that my 16 year old sister has started cutting. I am 28 years old, and have been a Christian now for 2 years. Before I turned to God, I was also going through a deep depression that only the love of the Lord could pull me out of. I am now happier that I've ever been, and married to the man that first introduced me to The Lord. The problem is I now live 3000 miles away from my family, including my sister. Our father and her mother recently got a divorce and I think that had a huge negative impact on her. Although I love and appreciate our father now, I know that he doesn't always express his love well, and can seem very distant. This was also hard on me when I was a teenager. I felt very unloved and rejected, and can only imagine my sister feels the same way. Her mother is extremely selfish and manipulative. Her belief system is deeply rooted in secular spirituality; Zodiac, Tarot Cards and the like. My sister is completely surrounded by this at home and at the private school she goes to. Her school is very small, and the majority of of her classmates also thrive on depression and self pity. When I read your message, I started crying. My sister has always had a very special place in my heart. She has always looked up to me and turned to me for advice. She said that since I moved away she has no one to look up to, no positive role models. This breaks my heart. We talk on the phone a lot, and she's very open with me about her problems. But I can only give her a short ray of light before we have to hang up and she's back in her dark world. She is aware of her cutting, and is ashamed of it, but just can't seem to stop. Her low was not being able to attend my wedding reception because she had recently cut and was embarrassed about the scars. I have tried to witness to her about The Lord, I've sent her a bible for her birthday, I send her e-mail links to our church's web site, and on a recent visit back home, my husband and I had a long conversation with her about my experiences and my conversion. She seems to have interest, and asks questions, but when I''m gone, she has no one to guide her, and she's back in her hole. My husband and I have invited her to visit for spring break, and maybe for the summer, but I'm worried. What if she cut's when she's here? How do I deal with the situation? My question for you is do you have any advice for me on how I can help her out of her depression and get her to stop cutting? What worked for you, did anyone say something to you that specifically turned on the light? How can I convince her that she is loved, not just by her family and I, but by God?
Thanks again. Your message gave me hope.
Posted by: peachtree5
Posted on: 2004-11-07 16:35:22
Thank you so much for your inspiring message. I recently found out that my 16 year old sister has started cutting. I am 28 years old, and have been a Christian now for 2 years. Before I turned to God, I was also going through a deep depression that only the love of the Lord could pull me out of. I am now happier that I've ever been, and married to the man that first introduced me to The Lord. The problem is I now live 3000 miles away from my family, including my sister. Our father and her mother recently got a divorce and I think that had a huge negative impact on her. Although I love and appreciate our father now, I know that he doesn't always express his love well, and can seem very distant. This was also hard on me when I was a teenager. I felt very unloved and rejected, and can only imagine my sister feels the same way. Her mother is extremely selfish and manipulative. Her belief system is deeply rooted in secular spirituality; Zodiac, Tarot Cards and the like. My sister is completely surrounded by this at home and at the private school she goes to. Her school is very small, and the majority of of her classmates also thrive on depression and self pity. When I read your message, I started crying. My sister has always had a very special place in my heart. She has always looked up to me and turned to me for advice. She said that since I moved away she has no one to look up to, no positive role models. This breaks my heart. We talk on the phone a lot, and she's very open with me about her problems. But I can only give her a short ray of light before we have to hang up and she's back in her dark world. She is aware of her cutting, and is ashamed of it, but just can't seem to stop. Her low was not being able to attend my wedding reception because she had recently cut and was embarrassed about the scars. I have tried to witness to her about The Lord, I've sent her a bible for her birthday, I send her e-mail links to our church's web site, and on a recent visit back home, my husband and I had a long conversation with her about my experiences and my conversion. She seems to have interest, and asks questions, but when I''m gone, she has no one to guide her, and she's back in her hole. My husband and I have invited her to visit for spring break, and maybe for the summer, but I'm worried. What if she cut's when she's here? How do I deal with the situation? My question for you is do you have any advice for me on how I can help her out of her depression and get her to stop cutting? What worked for you, did anyone say something to you that specifically turned on the light? How can I convince her that she is loved, not just by her family and I, but by God?
Thanks again. Your message gave me hope.
