10/28 Hot Warning Signs
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7Tarso's Dog
Posted by: frecklepup
Posted on: 2004-10-28 08:32:30
Dr. Phil's advice to Tarso was excellent and, I hope, emphatic enough. That guy has to change or 5 poor kids will pay the price. But, did you notice the audience reaction when Dr. Phil mentioned Tarso beat his dog in the head with a stick? They were shocked and upset. I think Dr. Phil, having a new puppy in his family, should do a show on proper care and training of a dog. One thing that makes me very sad is to see dogs SPENDING THEIR ENTIRE LIVES chained or confined. "A racehorse has to run," as Dr. Phil says and a pet is meant to be petted. Dogs are pack animals that will gladly integrate into a human pack, adding wonderful positive energy into a household. How 'bout it, Dr. Phil? A show on properly raising a dog would be a great public service.
Posted by: frecklepup
Posted on: 2004-10-28 08:32:30
Dr. Phil's advice to Tarso was excellent and, I hope, emphatic enough. That guy has to change or 5 poor kids will pay the price. But, did you notice the audience reaction when Dr. Phil mentioned Tarso beat his dog in the head with a stick? They were shocked and upset. I think Dr. Phil, having a new puppy in his family, should do a show on proper care and training of a dog. One thing that makes me very sad is to see dogs SPENDING THEIR ENTIRE LIVES chained or confined. "A racehorse has to run," as Dr. Phil says and a pet is meant to be petted. Dogs are pack animals that will gladly integrate into a human pack, adding wonderful positive energy into a household. How 'bout it, Dr. Phil? A show on properly raising a dog would be a great public service.
let's hear it for the Dogs
Posted by: diamonds94
Posted on: 2004-10-28 09:57:46
I agree that a show on properly raising a dog would be great.
Posted by: diamonds94
Posted on: 2004-10-28 09:57:46
I agree that a show on properly raising a dog would be great.
Their family dog deserves a better life, too
Posted by: fthayer
Posted on: 2004-10-29 13:47:28
I was glad that Dr. Phil has emerged as the voice of defenceless 12-year old Jake. The thing I'm wondering is who will rise up to be the voice of the dog that was beaten right in front of him? Their local humane society needs to closely monitor this volatile situation. At the conclusion of this segment, Dr. Phil expressed that he wanted a victory for this entire family. In my view, this also includes their family dog.
Posted by: fthayer
Posted on: 2004-10-29 13:47:28
I was glad that Dr. Phil has emerged as the voice of defenceless 12-year old Jake. The thing I'm wondering is who will rise up to be the voice of the dog that was beaten right in front of him? Their local humane society needs to closely monitor this volatile situation. At the conclusion of this segment, Dr. Phil expressed that he wanted a victory for this entire family. In my view, this also includes their family dog.
he's a monster
Posted by: fuzzr14
Posted on: 2004-10-28 15:54:23
I didn't see this first 10 minutes of the show, but I do not believe this guy at all. The look in his eyes scare me. If my husband did that to an animal, I would be gone in a flash. Believe it or not, I would be gone faster if he hurt our dog than if he hurt me. What kind of temper must he have if he would do that to a defenseless dog? Although this guy never gave his spin on the story and we just heard what his son said, I wouldn't want to be in the same house as a man who would hurt a living thing that gives nothing but love to humans. I feel so sorry for this boy, he is the same age as my son and it breaks my heart that at such a young age he is hurting so badly. I think the mother has rocks for brains for getting impregnated by this bum again...they need to concentrate on the kids that are here NOW instead of bringing more into the world to screw up!!!
Posted by: fuzzr14
Posted on: 2004-10-28 15:54:23
I didn't see this first 10 minutes of the show, but I do not believe this guy at all. The look in his eyes scare me. If my husband did that to an animal, I would be gone in a flash. Believe it or not, I would be gone faster if he hurt our dog than if he hurt me. What kind of temper must he have if he would do that to a defenseless dog? Although this guy never gave his spin on the story and we just heard what his son said, I wouldn't want to be in the same house as a man who would hurt a living thing that gives nothing but love to humans. I feel so sorry for this boy, he is the same age as my son and it breaks my heart that at such a young age he is hurting so badly. I think the mother has rocks for brains for getting impregnated by this bum again...they need to concentrate on the kids that are here NOW instead of bringing more into the world to screw up!!!
Hi fuzzr14
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2004-10-28 17:31:48
I know what you mean. ...my attitude is similar when it comes to people who hurt animals. Nothing will get me outraged faster (except for kids-IGWS)than to see an animal being abused. I 'lost it' on a guy who was threatening his dog and almost got into a physical confrontation w/ him. They are so defenseless and and anyone who abuses an animal is a real head case (imo)
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2004-10-28 17:31:48
I know what you mean. ...my attitude is similar when it comes to people who hurt animals. Nothing will get me outraged faster (except for kids-IGWS)than to see an animal being abused. I 'lost it' on a guy who was threatening his dog and almost got into a physical confrontation w/ him. They are so defenseless and and anyone who abuses an animal is a real head case (imo)
Did you notice...
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-10-28 19:54:27
DId you notice that the dog incident never DID get explained, even after the father said that the boy's story wasn't entirely true?
I was waiting for the guy to explain what really happened after he said "no, that isn't the way it was," but he never did. That leads me to believe what the boy said: that his dad beat the dog in the head with a broom handle so severely that it had to be euthanized.
Such a person has a dangerous problem with anger and violence, and, as I said in another post, should never be allowed to be around children or animals until the problem is solved.
The guy scares me. A lot. He's got a look on his face I can't quite interpret, but it sure scares me. Anyone else get this feeling?
justone houndmom's opinion...
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-10-28 19:54:27
DId you notice that the dog incident never DID get explained, even after the father said that the boy's story wasn't entirely true?
I was waiting for the guy to explain what really happened after he said "no, that isn't the way it was," but he never did. That leads me to believe what the boy said: that his dad beat the dog in the head with a broom handle so severely that it had to be euthanized.
Such a person has a dangerous problem with anger and violence, and, as I said in another post, should never be allowed to be around children or animals until the problem is solved.
The guy scares me. A lot. He's got a look on his face I can't quite interpret, but it sure scares me. Anyone else get this feeling?
justone houndmom's opinion...
I noticed!!!
Posted by: earthd
Posted on: 2004-11-01 14:38:31
But I am not concluding the same as you. Even after reading Kari's posts, I just don't know if I believe her and I think there is another side to the story. Kari seems to be liking this attention too much. As pointed out else where, she says she has been asking for help but from who??? Have all her friends and authorities ignored her. Or maybe she might have some of her own unresolved issues.
Posted by: earthd
Posted on: 2004-11-01 14:38:31
But I am not concluding the same as you. Even after reading Kari's posts, I just don't know if I believe her and I think there is another side to the story. Kari seems to be liking this attention too much. As pointed out else where, she says she has been asking for help but from who??? Have all her friends and authorities ignored her. Or maybe she might have some of her own unresolved issues.
well of course
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-01 22:38:05
I dont even know how to respond to this post. What is is that you dont believe? Tarso said he beat the dog, he said that he screams at Jake. He says that he tells Kari that he hates her, he admitted to all the things he has done. What he wont admit is that he has a serious anger management issue and WILL NOT seek help for it. Of course Kari has some of her own unresolved issues, she has been verbally abused for years. As for her liking the attention, well that is just laughable.
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-01 22:38:05
I dont even know how to respond to this post. What is is that you dont believe? Tarso said he beat the dog, he said that he screams at Jake. He says that he tells Kari that he hates her, he admitted to all the things he has done. What he wont admit is that he has a serious anger management issue and WILL NOT seek help for it. Of course Kari has some of her own unresolved issues, she has been verbally abused for years. As for her liking the attention, well that is just laughable.
REALLY??
Posted by: earthd
Posted on: 2004-11-02 09:52:45
Just one question, you said you were a friend. And you stated you had no idea things were this bad. Kari said she has asked all her friends for advise and help. My question then is did you turn her away, or did she not really tell you any of this? Someone who will tell everyone on national television would surely tell a friend. So then my next question is, can we really believe everything that Kari says?, or is there something more to all of these occurances.
Posted by: earthd
Posted on: 2004-11-02 09:52:45
Just one question, you said you were a friend. And you stated you had no idea things were this bad. Kari said she has asked all her friends for advise and help. My question then is did you turn her away, or did she not really tell you any of this? Someone who will tell everyone on national television would surely tell a friend. So then my next question is, can we really believe everything that Kari says?, or is there something more to all of these occurances.
confused
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-02 15:32:01
I am very confused by your posts. Did you watch the show, Tarso admitted he is out of control and he needs help. That he screams at Jake and calls him an a@@hole, that he beat the dog, that he tells Kari that he hates her. Why do keep asking if we can really believe what Kari says when its Tarso who is saying it. As for Kari telling me how things are in her home, I only knew part of what was going on. I am sure she was so ashamed, and since Tarso tells her he is this way because of her, she was humiliated. It wasnt until the week of the show and I went on the website and read what the show was about did I know the desparity of the situation. I sent her an email appologizing for not being a good enough friend to her that she felt she couldnt confide in me. Now that I do know what horrible things Tarso is doing (from what he said on the show) I am giving her all the support I can muster up.
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-02 15:32:01
I am very confused by your posts. Did you watch the show, Tarso admitted he is out of control and he needs help. That he screams at Jake and calls him an a@@hole, that he beat the dog, that he tells Kari that he hates her. Why do keep asking if we can really believe what Kari says when its Tarso who is saying it. As for Kari telling me how things are in her home, I only knew part of what was going on. I am sure she was so ashamed, and since Tarso tells her he is this way because of her, she was humiliated. It wasnt until the week of the show and I went on the website and read what the show was about did I know the desparity of the situation. I sent her an email appologizing for not being a good enough friend to her that she felt she couldnt confide in me. Now that I do know what horrible things Tarso is doing (from what he said on the show) I am giving her all the support I can muster up.
hunther
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-11-05 12:59:01
I think the point you are missing is that, when kids are involved, there are some bottom lines that don't apply when kids are NOT involved. So yes, if you put it that way, the people here have every right to judge Kari as a mother based on what we've seen! The "judgment" doesn't have anything to do with how difficult this has been for her or how hard she's been trying. It has to do with not protecting her kids (or pets, for that matter).
I am a firm believer that NOTHING happens in a vacuuum. There was a first time for everything -- the first time Tarso was violent, the first time he was mentally abusive, the first time he put her down, etc. And with each one of these "first times", Kari chose to stay with this man and then Kari chose this man to be the father of her child. At some point, yes...she probably did get so beaten down she couldn't defend herself. But there were many choices she made along the way before she got to this point, and those choices were unfair to Jake.
And these aren't judgments; they're facts.
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-11-05 12:59:01
I think the point you are missing is that, when kids are involved, there are some bottom lines that don't apply when kids are NOT involved. So yes, if you put it that way, the people here have every right to judge Kari as a mother based on what we've seen! The "judgment" doesn't have anything to do with how difficult this has been for her or how hard she's been trying. It has to do with not protecting her kids (or pets, for that matter).
I am a firm believer that NOTHING happens in a vacuuum. There was a first time for everything -- the first time Tarso was violent, the first time he was mentally abusive, the first time he put her down, etc. And with each one of these "first times", Kari chose to stay with this man and then Kari chose this man to be the father of her child. At some point, yes...she probably did get so beaten down she couldn't defend herself. But there were many choices she made along the way before she got to this point, and those choices were unfair to Jake.
And these aren't judgments; they're facts.
yep
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
In hinde sight I am sure Kari can now see the warning signs and wishes she would have done thing differently. Its like going to lots of Christmas parties and then wondering in January how you gained 10lbs. Its a little at a time that are barely noticed until its to late. She now has the support she has needed and those changes are being made. She thought she was going crazy, she was being told that Jake was acting this way because of her. So she was trying to change her behavior, when the real problem wasnt her actions at all. Now that she knows better, she is doing better.
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
In hinde sight I am sure Kari can now see the warning signs and wishes she would have done thing differently. Its like going to lots of Christmas parties and then wondering in January how you gained 10lbs. Its a little at a time that are barely noticed until its to late. She now has the support she has needed and those changes are being made. She thought she was going crazy, she was being told that Jake was acting this way because of her. So she was trying to change her behavior, when the real problem wasnt her actions at all. Now that she knows better, she is doing better.
right on
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
earthd, I also have the same questions. It just makes you think, how much of this is really accurate?
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
earthd, I also have the same questions. It just makes you think, how much of this is really accurate?
context
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
I also watched the show. As sad as it was, yes, Tarso did admit what he did wrong. As Dr Phil says, you have to acknowledge a problem before you can fix it. Tarso has. What has Kari acknowleged as her part in all of this? Tarso said that he hit the dog with a broom, and as in Kari's post it was with the bristles, and I don't think that would have killed a dog. She also said the dog had a brain tumor that bled out, so... He said yes, he did say he hated her, but that it was more he hated what was happening. Tarso did admit his anger and when I watched the show, he also agreed to seek counseling, so how can you say he "WILL NOT seek help for it". Do you know if they aren't following Dr. Phil's advice? Hmmmm... Makes me wonder if you really know what is going on here. As for your last 2 comments, they aren't even worth responding to...excuses excuses, as I see them anyway.
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
I also watched the show. As sad as it was, yes, Tarso did admit what he did wrong. As Dr Phil says, you have to acknowledge a problem before you can fix it. Tarso has. What has Kari acknowleged as her part in all of this? Tarso said that he hit the dog with a broom, and as in Kari's post it was with the bristles, and I don't think that would have killed a dog. She also said the dog had a brain tumor that bled out, so... He said yes, he did say he hated her, but that it was more he hated what was happening. Tarso did admit his anger and when I watched the show, he also agreed to seek counseling, so how can you say he "WILL NOT seek help for it". Do you know if they aren't following Dr. Phil's advice? Hmmmm... Makes me wonder if you really know what is going on here. As for your last 2 comments, they aren't even worth responding to...excuses excuses, as I see them anyway.
Huh
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-07 10:10:08
The show was regarding Jake and his depression. Hence the reason it was about Tarso, Jake says that its his father's treatment of him that is upsetting him. The point isnt that Tarso probably didnt kill the dog, it was that Tarso lost his temper and beat the dog. It wouldnt matter if he beat Nick with a kleenex, he couldnt control his anger. His children think he was the reason for the dogs death. Im not going into what Kari and her husband are or are not doing reagarding counseling as it is none of your business. Sadly, I do know what is going on with them. It is heartbreaking to see people I have known for 15 years go through such severe family problems. But my main concern is not Tarso, or even Kari. It is for Jake, he is an innocent child and for some reason that point seems to have illuded your posts.
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-07 10:10:08
The show was regarding Jake and his depression. Hence the reason it was about Tarso, Jake says that its his father's treatment of him that is upsetting him. The point isnt that Tarso probably didnt kill the dog, it was that Tarso lost his temper and beat the dog. It wouldnt matter if he beat Nick with a kleenex, he couldnt control his anger. His children think he was the reason for the dogs death. Im not going into what Kari and her husband are or are not doing reagarding counseling as it is none of your business. Sadly, I do know what is going on with them. It is heartbreaking to see people I have known for 15 years go through such severe family problems. But my main concern is not Tarso, or even Kari. It is for Jake, he is an innocent child and for some reason that point seems to have illuded your posts.
hunther
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-11-09 11:59:48
I have to disagree when you say your concern is mostly about poor Jake. Go back and read your own posts!
In fact, you've posted so much about Kari that I almost wonder if you're trying to work out some guilt over "not being there" for her over the years.
On the offchance I'm correct about this, it's really not an issue. I've been there and done that twice, and there is nothing more frustrating than watching a friend put herself and her family through hell because she refuses to look at what is happening around her. We always tend to think that we can find the "correct" phrase or wording that will make the friend sit up and go "oh gosh, you're right - I'm leaving him today!" It doesn't work that way. Words are cheap and, even now, if that family is still residing with Tarso, they are all still at risk.
Posted by: the_indian
Posted on: 2004-11-09 11:59:48
I have to disagree when you say your concern is mostly about poor Jake. Go back and read your own posts!
In fact, you've posted so much about Kari that I almost wonder if you're trying to work out some guilt over "not being there" for her over the years.
On the offchance I'm correct about this, it's really not an issue. I've been there and done that twice, and there is nothing more frustrating than watching a friend put herself and her family through hell because she refuses to look at what is happening around her. We always tend to think that we can find the "correct" phrase or wording that will make the friend sit up and go "oh gosh, you're right - I'm leaving him today!" It doesn't work that way. Words are cheap and, even now, if that family is still residing with Tarso, they are all still at risk.
Indian
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-09 14:29:32
The posts you are referring to are the ones attacking Kari, and yes I am defending her. I found it outragous that people who don't even know her accuse her of not loving her children. Kari is in a catch 22, had she left Tarso years ago people would have asked why she didnt try harder to make her marriage work, now they ask why she waited so long. I dont feel guilty, I understand why she didnt tell me what was going on. I understand the shame of a spouse that has been abusive. There are few people in my life that know what happened my first year of marriage. Luckily, my husband got help and it has never again been an issue. But now that I do know I am giving her all of my support, she is the one that is going to be helping Jake heal from this. Tearing her down, blaming her and questioning her mothering abilities is in essence not helping Jake. She has to be strong to deal with this situation.
Posted by: hunther
Posted on: 2004-11-09 14:29:32
The posts you are referring to are the ones attacking Kari, and yes I am defending her. I found it outragous that people who don't even know her accuse her of not loving her children. Kari is in a catch 22, had she left Tarso years ago people would have asked why she didnt try harder to make her marriage work, now they ask why she waited so long. I dont feel guilty, I understand why she didnt tell me what was going on. I understand the shame of a spouse that has been abusive. There are few people in my life that know what happened my first year of marriage. Luckily, my husband got help and it has never again been an issue. But now that I do know I am giving her all of my support, she is the one that is going to be helping Jake heal from this. Tearing her down, blaming her and questioning her mothering abilities is in essence not helping Jake. She has to be strong to deal with this situation.
me too
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
I think there are always 2 (or more) sides to every story. It seems to me that if Kari had been asking all of these people for help, then at least one person would have helped her. And if no one she knows would, for whatever reason, then there are organizations that women with children can turn to for help. Why did she not utilize one of these? I also think that there must be some unresolved issues, most likely from her past, since it all seems so deep rooted. Yes, Tarso has a part in this too, but as it takes 2 to make a child, it also takes 2 to raise, parent and nurture a child. You can't tell me that Kari has been the perfect mother, and done nothing wrong. It also takes 2 to yell, and fight, and Kari admitted that she did some of this on the show. Dr. Phil, at least from what we saw, just didn't delve into what Kari's role in all of this is. I wish he had, and maybe in a follow up he will. It just seems so focused on Tarso, and some of this situation just doesn't add up.
Posted by: sunmoon200
Posted on: 2004-11-05 16:21:53
I think there are always 2 (or more) sides to every story. It seems to me that if Kari had been asking all of these people for help, then at least one person would have helped her. And if no one she knows would, for whatever reason, then there are organizations that women with children can turn to for help. Why did she not utilize one of these? I also think that there must be some unresolved issues, most likely from her past, since it all seems so deep rooted. Yes, Tarso has a part in this too, but as it takes 2 to make a child, it also takes 2 to raise, parent and nurture a child. You can't tell me that Kari has been the perfect mother, and done nothing wrong. It also takes 2 to yell, and fight, and Kari admitted that she did some of this on the show. Dr. Phil, at least from what we saw, just didn't delve into what Kari's role in all of this is. I wish he had, and maybe in a follow up he will. It just seems so focused on Tarso, and some of this situation just doesn't add up.
You are kidding right?
Posted by: bcsm57
Posted on: 2004-10-28 20:43:37
I love animals more than most, but to even consider ending a family over a dog is ridiculous. Perhaps you and I see him as a jerk, but he is her husband and she loves him.
What they truly need to do is concentrate on each other, and the problems with the children will fall into place.
That is why there are so many divorces in this country now, too much importance is put on the children and not enough on the family.
Posted by: bcsm57
Posted on: 2004-10-28 20:43:37
I love animals more than most, but to even consider ending a family over a dog is ridiculous. Perhaps you and I see him as a jerk, but he is her husband and she loves him.
What they truly need to do is concentrate on each other, and the problems with the children will fall into place.
That is why there are so many divorces in this country now, too much importance is put on the children and not enough on the family.
It isn't about the dog
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-10-28 22:11:46
I don't think all these people are advocating ending a marriage over a dog.
If you read Kari's post elsewhere on this board, it describes the dog incident in detail. In it you will see that this man blew up at the entire family and beat the dog because the dog got in to the trash -- NOT something worth screaming at your kids and hitting an animal in the head with a broom handle!
As I said in another post, violence toward animals is a symptom of a serious anger management problem that could easily erupt into physical violence toward humans.
This guy is probably not exploding at his family because of what they are doing -- he's exploding because of unresolved issues that make him over-react. He needs to get some serious psychological help before he does something he will regret forever.
By the way, I'm not just blowing opinionated smoke here. My ex-husband used to scream till he was red in the face, smash furniture and kick our dog during arguments. He refused counseling. Soon, hurting the dog wasn't enough, and that furniture was being thrown at ME.
that's all.
just one houndmom's opinion
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-10-28 22:11:46
I don't think all these people are advocating ending a marriage over a dog.
If you read Kari's post elsewhere on this board, it describes the dog incident in detail. In it you will see that this man blew up at the entire family and beat the dog because the dog got in to the trash -- NOT something worth screaming at your kids and hitting an animal in the head with a broom handle!
As I said in another post, violence toward animals is a symptom of a serious anger management problem that could easily erupt into physical violence toward humans.
This guy is probably not exploding at his family because of what they are doing -- he's exploding because of unresolved issues that make him over-react. He needs to get some serious psychological help before he does something he will regret forever.
By the way, I'm not just blowing opinionated smoke here. My ex-husband used to scream till he was red in the face, smash furniture and kick our dog during arguments. He refused counseling. Soon, hurting the dog wasn't enough, and that furniture was being thrown at ME.
that's all.
just one houndmom's opinion
