02/16 Dr. Phil's Premarital Bootcamp, Part 1
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7Mary Ellen and Erick
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 02:00:08
Dear Mary Ellen,
I just read the summary of your story on the Dr. Phil website and Erick's behavior worried me.
Did you notice how he seemed to pay no attention to your feelings? You expressed FEAR at the thought of having sex with him, and instead of being protective, sensitive, caring, loving etc. he kept talking about all the sex HE WANTS.
Also, what's up with the "weird places"? Does Erick look at pornographic material? If so, you SHOULD BE VERY SCARED because he will probably treat you like a sex object, not a human being who deserves love and protection.
I absolutely do not think you should marry Erick unless he shows you his love by making everything about YOU. After all, that's what love is all about: the good of your partner even when it means a sacrifice.
You deserve to feel protected by your husband, not be in constant fear of him exploiting and objectifying you in your most vulnerable state.
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 02:00:08
Dear Mary Ellen,
I just read the summary of your story on the Dr. Phil website and Erick's behavior worried me.
Did you notice how he seemed to pay no attention to your feelings? You expressed FEAR at the thought of having sex with him, and instead of being protective, sensitive, caring, loving etc. he kept talking about all the sex HE WANTS.
Also, what's up with the "weird places"? Does Erick look at pornographic material? If so, you SHOULD BE VERY SCARED because he will probably treat you like a sex object, not a human being who deserves love and protection.
I absolutely do not think you should marry Erick unless he shows you his love by making everything about YOU. After all, that's what love is all about: the good of your partner even when it means a sacrifice.
You deserve to feel protected by your husband, not be in constant fear of him exploiting and objectifying you in your most vulnerable state.
about pornography
Posted by: lovelisa1
Posted on: 2005-02-16 09:09:00
"Does Erick look at pornographic material? If so, you SHOULD BE VERY SCARED because he will probably treat you like a sex object, not a human being..."
I think this comment is way overblown, I think most young men look at porn, and it doesn't mean that most young men don't treat their girlfriends like human beings. The "You should be very scared" comment is really not helpful to her.
This man says "wierd places" (like the elevator) but once you get going, as long as he is satisfied, you won't have to go wierd places. He says 4 times a day, but that will only last MAYBE 2 days at the most. Young guys get distorted ideas about sex when they abstain for too long! Don't worry about it!
However, I'd hate to have my first time on my wedding night, because I'd want GOOD sex on that night! Get it over with before the big day! Down with awkward painful wedding nights! Awkwardness is for our ancestors!
Posted by: lovelisa1
Posted on: 2005-02-16 09:09:00
"Does Erick look at pornographic material? If so, you SHOULD BE VERY SCARED because he will probably treat you like a sex object, not a human being..."
I think this comment is way overblown, I think most young men look at porn, and it doesn't mean that most young men don't treat their girlfriends like human beings. The "You should be very scared" comment is really not helpful to her.
This man says "wierd places" (like the elevator) but once you get going, as long as he is satisfied, you won't have to go wierd places. He says 4 times a day, but that will only last MAYBE 2 days at the most. Young guys get distorted ideas about sex when they abstain for too long! Don't worry about it!
However, I'd hate to have my first time on my wedding night, because I'd want GOOD sex on that night! Get it over with before the big day! Down with awkward painful wedding nights! Awkwardness is for our ancestors!
about sex
Posted by: hrlechik
Posted on: 2005-02-16 09:45:25
I think that this couple really needs to examine their wants and needs. She has said that if she never has sex that's fine with her and he wants sex 2 or 3 times a day.
He also says he wants 6 kids and she's not sure she wants any.
These are two very big issues in a marriage and I wouldn't want either of them to have to give up their wants or dreams.
Posted by: hrlechik
Posted on: 2005-02-16 09:45:25
I think that this couple really needs to examine their wants and needs. She has said that if she never has sex that's fine with her and he wants sex 2 or 3 times a day.
He also says he wants 6 kids and she's not sure she wants any.
These are two very big issues in a marriage and I wouldn't want either of them to have to give up their wants or dreams.
Never have sex?
Posted by: promark
Posted on: 2005-02-21 13:58:05
Run as fast as you can! (groom to be) Ya gotta have sex.....or at least someone who isnt scared of it.....makes me wonder is she was abused in some form.....
Posted by: promark
Posted on: 2005-02-21 13:58:05
Run as fast as you can! (groom to be) Ya gotta have sex.....or at least someone who isnt scared of it.....makes me wonder is she was abused in some form.....
Re:
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 16:19:58
"I think this comment is way overblown, I think most young men look at porn..."
And most marriages end in divorce. And an awful lot of married couples have terrible sex lives.
Could you ever feel safe having sex with a man who looks at pornography? He would COMPARE you to pornography, possibly try to get you to do some of the sick stuff they do in pornographic films etc.
Did you know that pornography is statistically correlated with RAPE AND VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN?
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 16:19:58
"I think this comment is way overblown, I think most young men look at porn..."
And most marriages end in divorce. And an awful lot of married couples have terrible sex lives.
Could you ever feel safe having sex with a man who looks at pornography? He would COMPARE you to pornography, possibly try to get you to do some of the sick stuff they do in pornographic films etc.
Did you know that pornography is statistically correlated with RAPE AND VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN?
Posted by: sfeekes
Posted on: 2005-02-16 22:56:47
"Could you ever feel safe having sex with a man who looks at pornography? He would COMPARE you to pornography, possibly try to get you to do some of the sick stuff they do in pornographic films etc.
I've been having sex for the last 20 years with a man who looks at pornography. He isn't addicted to it and mostly we enjoy it together. He loves me and thinks I'm very sexy even when I'm not feeling so sexy and I'm no super model, believe me.
Also, I'd be interested to know what 'sick stuff' you refer to. Certainly there's some porno that is beyond my boundries but there's a LOT of it that's just normal, man/woman sex. If you're going to keep a steamy, interesting sex life for 20-30-40 years I think that it's important to spice things up.
This guy refered to having sex in weird places. I can't think of anything that's as much fun and I don't see how it could hurt anyone.
Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion and I don't mean to say otherwise. I'm just saying that it's worked for my hubby and I for the last 20 years.
The cpl that views together.....
Posted by: promark
Posted on: 2005-02-21 21:34:27
What about watching porn with your spouse? Sometimes it's downright funny.....and sometimes gets ya in the mood....mostly funny tho....then that turns to playful....then grab the remote turn it off and have some fun!
Posted by: promark
Posted on: 2005-02-21 21:34:27
What about watching porn with your spouse? Sometimes it's downright funny.....and sometimes gets ya in the mood....mostly funny tho....then that turns to playful....then grab the remote turn it off and have some fun!
Re: Premarital sex
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 16:52:37
You also said you'd hate to have your first time on your wedding night...
Well, with this attitude you'll probably end up having sex with many men before you marry. How will your husband feel knowing that you've been had by a bunch of guys before him?
Back when people didn't look at pornography and waited for marriage to have sex there were far fewer divorces.
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-16 16:52:37
You also said you'd hate to have your first time on your wedding night...
Well, with this attitude you'll probably end up having sex with many men before you marry. How will your husband feel knowing that you've been had by a bunch of guys before him?
Back when people didn't look at pornography and waited for marriage to have sex there were far fewer divorces.
No divorce, things better?! Ha! Dream on!
Posted by: sunfox
Posted on: 2005-02-16 22:40:36
You honestly believe things were better in the old days? Hmm, let's see here: women who weren't happy in their marriages couldn't get a divorce unless the man physically beat them (even then, it was really hard to prove) and the church would often look the other way. Very few of these women were satisfied with their sex lives. How many of the them have told us stories about how they would fantasize about other things like shopping and talking with friends while their husbands had their way with them? They were being raped in their own homes, in the "marital bed", all in the name of "marriage". I'm glad the old days are long gone and that we are now learning to deal with this new responsibility.
In case you're wondering, yes I did have sex with my husband before we got married and have never, ever regretted this decision. This has not caused me to "sleep with many men". He is the only one I have ever been with and he's only ever been with me. The reason we decided to lose our virginity to each other is because we both really loved each other and wanted to share that experience on the deepest level that two people can share their love. It is a very beautiful and incredible thing IF DONE OUT OF LOVE AND COMMITMENT, and not because you "just want it". I can't imagine a better marriage, I just love it!
I think too many people marry just because they want to have sex and don't think about the other issues (money, children, location of house to live in, jobs, ethic differences, etc.)
Dare I ask, are you married?
Posted by: sunfox
Posted on: 2005-02-16 22:40:36
You honestly believe things were better in the old days? Hmm, let's see here: women who weren't happy in their marriages couldn't get a divorce unless the man physically beat them (even then, it was really hard to prove) and the church would often look the other way. Very few of these women were satisfied with their sex lives. How many of the them have told us stories about how they would fantasize about other things like shopping and talking with friends while their husbands had their way with them? They were being raped in their own homes, in the "marital bed", all in the name of "marriage". I'm glad the old days are long gone and that we are now learning to deal with this new responsibility.
In case you're wondering, yes I did have sex with my husband before we got married and have never, ever regretted this decision. This has not caused me to "sleep with many men". He is the only one I have ever been with and he's only ever been with me. The reason we decided to lose our virginity to each other is because we both really loved each other and wanted to share that experience on the deepest level that two people can share their love. It is a very beautiful and incredible thing IF DONE OUT OF LOVE AND COMMITMENT, and not because you "just want it". I can't imagine a better marriage, I just love it!
I think too many people marry just because they want to have sex and don't think about the other issues (money, children, location of house to live in, jobs, ethic differences, etc.)
Dare I ask, are you married?
Re:
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 01:04:11
What old days are we talking about here? Yes, 100 years ago things were terrible for women. I'm well aware of the laws of the time and obviously things back then were far worse than they are now.
The feminist movement started out well: rights for women, protection from rape and domestic violence etc. etc. But look at where it came to... a bunch of lesbians who want to destroy the family, who got the "right" to kill unborn people etc.
20% of all women in the USA get raped. More still are assaulted, abused etc. Where are these feminists? They're fighting to keep their "right" to kill unborn babies and marry their lesbian partners.
By the way, read those studies. There's a statistical correlation between pornography and rape.
It's great that you and your husband had sex only with each other. BUT this isn't true for most people who believe that sex before marriage is not only okay but actually necessary to determine sexual compatibility. Most people do not marry their first serious boyfriend/girlfriend. And if I'm not mistaken the average heterosexual has 8 sexual partners in a lifetime.
How would you feel if your husband had sex with 8 women before he met you? This is the reality for many people who see nothing wrong with premarital sex. You and your husband got lucky.
It seems that Mary Ellen is a pure girl who is naturally repulsed by Erick's perverted advances. Who wouldn't be? You have to be severely desensitized (which happens if you look at pornography) to see this sort of thing as normal.
Posted by: sqzmrj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 01:04:11
What old days are we talking about here? Yes, 100 years ago things were terrible for women. I'm well aware of the laws of the time and obviously things back then were far worse than they are now.
The feminist movement started out well: rights for women, protection from rape and domestic violence etc. etc. But look at where it came to... a bunch of lesbians who want to destroy the family, who got the "right" to kill unborn people etc.
20% of all women in the USA get raped. More still are assaulted, abused etc. Where are these feminists? They're fighting to keep their "right" to kill unborn babies and marry their lesbian partners.
By the way, read those studies. There's a statistical correlation between pornography and rape.
It's great that you and your husband had sex only with each other. BUT this isn't true for most people who believe that sex before marriage is not only okay but actually necessary to determine sexual compatibility. Most people do not marry their first serious boyfriend/girlfriend. And if I'm not mistaken the average heterosexual has 8 sexual partners in a lifetime.
How would you feel if your husband had sex with 8 women before he met you? This is the reality for many people who see nothing wrong with premarital sex. You and your husband got lucky.
It seems that Mary Ellen is a pure girl who is naturally repulsed by Erick's perverted advances. Who wouldn't be? You have to be severely desensitized (which happens if you look at pornography) to see this sort of thing as normal.
Regarding Erick
Posted by: akubbie
Posted on: 2005-02-18 10:32:33
I know Erick & Mary. They are both wonderful people. And if you knew him...he is not the pig that everyone is making him out to be. He is a silly, goofy, funny guy that shows alot of love and respect to Mary. He was very nervous on the show and who wouldn't be. Now tell me, how many of you would say that your spouse wouldn't prefer to have sex in weird places. (Weird places doesn't mean in an elevator, it is anywhere outside the bedroom.) And that is not necessarily weird. He was being honest and I see that everyone read way to into that statement. Just look at how they act at a team...they get along...they laugh together. They are a wonderful couple and Mary is not blind...and Erick is not into porn. So lets give him the benefit of the doubt. Is that too much to ask?
Posted by: akubbie
Posted on: 2005-02-18 10:32:33
I know Erick & Mary. They are both wonderful people. And if you knew him...he is not the pig that everyone is making him out to be. He is a silly, goofy, funny guy that shows alot of love and respect to Mary. He was very nervous on the show and who wouldn't be. Now tell me, how many of you would say that your spouse wouldn't prefer to have sex in weird places. (Weird places doesn't mean in an elevator, it is anywhere outside the bedroom.) And that is not necessarily weird. He was being honest and I see that everyone read way to into that statement. Just look at how they act at a team...they get along...they laugh together. They are a wonderful couple and Mary is not blind...and Erick is not into porn. So lets give him the benefit of the doubt. Is that too much to ask?
premarital sex and divorce
Posted by: jenahj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:01:05
sqzmrj I have to take issue with you regarding your final comments that you made regarding in your message: "Back when people didn't look at pornography and waited for marriage to have sex there were far fewer divorces." Those are not the reasons that there where far fewer divorces. Many women stayed in marriages that they did not want to be in for many reasons. One would be financial. They could not work outside of the home because society would look down on their husband as not providing for their family. Women who did work, did not make enough money to take care of themselves and/or their children, or they barely scrapped by. Religan taught you that you are in marriage forever and the Catholic religion would excommunicate you. There was a terrible stigma attached to someone who was divorced, so many people stayed in bad marriages so they could just make it under the radar in society.
Posted by: jenahj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:01:05
sqzmrj I have to take issue with you regarding your final comments that you made regarding in your message: "Back when people didn't look at pornography and waited for marriage to have sex there were far fewer divorces." Those are not the reasons that there where far fewer divorces. Many women stayed in marriages that they did not want to be in for many reasons. One would be financial. They could not work outside of the home because society would look down on their husband as not providing for their family. Women who did work, did not make enough money to take care of themselves and/or their children, or they barely scrapped by. Religan taught you that you are in marriage forever and the Catholic religion would excommunicate you. There was a terrible stigma attached to someone who was divorced, so many people stayed in bad marriages so they could just make it under the radar in society.
Totally wrong!!
Posted by: liz8982
Posted on: 2005-02-17 00:36:02
First of all I think that the fact that you guys are waiting until marriage is wonderful! People don't look at sex the same these days. They don't cherish or treasure the person they are with as long as they can get some they are happy. I think that you have a right to be scared and that should be taken into consideration. If you marry someone that wants it all the time and you don't...you WILL fight about it, it will make you feel like you are not good enough for him and he may look other places. Not to scare you but I have seen it with my own eyes. And the pornography thing. First of all let me say how much I HATE that everyone says "All guys do it". Let me tell you that the guy I am with won't or we won't be together. It is a very serious problem. And just because they "all" do it doesn't make it ok. Like the saying if everyone jumped off a bridge would you? If he will look for satisfaction in another women (even though it is the computer) what would stop him from going further with a real women? All I know is that from what I have experienced NOTHING good comes from looking at porn. It makes the women feel like shit and like shes isn't good enough. Some even feel like they are being cheated on. Let me tell you right now that will cause MAJOR problems in the marriage. Also don't freak out about "weird" places...it can make it interesting. :) And I say you have made it this far don't have sex now just so you can have "good" sex on your wedding night. Trust me it will be good and it will be special because you waited and it is with the man you love and want to be with forever.
Posted by: liz8982
Posted on: 2005-02-17 00:36:02
First of all I think that the fact that you guys are waiting until marriage is wonderful! People don't look at sex the same these days. They don't cherish or treasure the person they are with as long as they can get some they are happy. I think that you have a right to be scared and that should be taken into consideration. If you marry someone that wants it all the time and you don't...you WILL fight about it, it will make you feel like you are not good enough for him and he may look other places. Not to scare you but I have seen it with my own eyes. And the pornography thing. First of all let me say how much I HATE that everyone says "All guys do it". Let me tell you that the guy I am with won't or we won't be together. It is a very serious problem. And just because they "all" do it doesn't make it ok. Like the saying if everyone jumped off a bridge would you? If he will look for satisfaction in another women (even though it is the computer) what would stop him from going further with a real women? All I know is that from what I have experienced NOTHING good comes from looking at porn. It makes the women feel like shit and like shes isn't good enough. Some even feel like they are being cheated on. Let me tell you right now that will cause MAJOR problems in the marriage. Also don't freak out about "weird" places...it can make it interesting. :) And I say you have made it this far don't have sex now just so you can have "good" sex on your wedding night. Trust me it will be good and it will be special because you waited and it is with the man you love and want to be with forever.
i think they are both too young
Posted by: tashayar1
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:07:19
All he can talk about is having a lot of sex and she (and I’m assuming she’s a virgin) is nervous about their relationship.
When all a guy can talk about is sex and a girl is afraid to have it this may be the time to back off and re-think this relationship and upcoming nuptials.
Posted by: tashayar1
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:07:19
All he can talk about is having a lot of sex and she (and I’m assuming she’s a virgin) is nervous about their relationship.
When all a guy can talk about is sex and a girl is afraid to have it this may be the time to back off and re-think this relationship and upcoming nuptials.
Erick and Mary Ellen are a young couple in love
Posted by: dramabrat
Posted on: 2005-02-16 12:56:45
My husband and I met this young couple when we did a taping of the Dr.Phil show. We are not one of the other engaged couples though. Erick and Mary Ellen are the cutest most fun-loving couple I have met. I think the whole "sex in weird places" thing was just a young guy eager to be with his new bride. My husband and I rode in the limo with this couple on the way to the taping and they were laughing and having a good time. They seem like genuine sweet people who really love each other. I think (from seeing them together) that Erick is very sweet to her. The whole time he was holding her hand, and every time she would say something sweet about him, he would blush. I think it is sad that people have to judge people based on a 30sec. clip you may have seen or reading a few sentences about them.
Posted by: dramabrat
Posted on: 2005-02-16 12:56:45
My husband and I met this young couple when we did a taping of the Dr.Phil show. We are not one of the other engaged couples though. Erick and Mary Ellen are the cutest most fun-loving couple I have met. I think the whole "sex in weird places" thing was just a young guy eager to be with his new bride. My husband and I rode in the limo with this couple on the way to the taping and they were laughing and having a good time. They seem like genuine sweet people who really love each other. I think (from seeing them together) that Erick is very sweet to her. The whole time he was holding her hand, and every time she would say something sweet about him, he would blush. I think it is sad that people have to judge people based on a 30sec. clip you may have seen or reading a few sentences about them.
watch out
Posted by: homschol
Posted on: 2005-02-16 17:00:20
I think waiting until you are married to have it is great. God will honnor that and bless the marriage. BUT be careful, I married a man that said the things that Eric is saying. He wants it four times a day. Dr Phil, you say you are not sure that is possible. Let me tell you, (It is!) My husband expected it four times a day and I complied . I was a young virgin when I married him. Everyone thought he was wonderful. He treated me great in public. He was a real charmer. The truth was devistating. Doing it four times a day went on for three years execpt when I was hospitilized for extream infections. Four times a day means it's goiong to take a while each time. 1 hour or more. I started hiding from him. He stared cheating and beating me. I'm not saying Eric would do this, but be careful. He may be a adict.Like my ex-husband.
Posted by: homschol
Posted on: 2005-02-16 17:00:20
I think waiting until you are married to have it is great. God will honnor that and bless the marriage. BUT be careful, I married a man that said the things that Eric is saying. He wants it four times a day. Dr Phil, you say you are not sure that is possible. Let me tell you, (It is!) My husband expected it four times a day and I complied . I was a young virgin when I married him. Everyone thought he was wonderful. He treated me great in public. He was a real charmer. The truth was devistating. Doing it four times a day went on for three years execpt when I was hospitilized for extream infections. Four times a day means it's goiong to take a while each time. 1 hour or more. I started hiding from him. He stared cheating and beating me. I'm not saying Eric would do this, but be careful. He may be a adict.Like my ex-husband.
YAY!!
Posted by: rev218
Posted on: 2005-02-17 10:27:06
this makes me so happy to have something positive on here! Mary & Erick are friends of mine and they are the sweetest, most-fun, God-loving people!!! I met Mary at East high school and she was a blast to be around. she's been an inspiration because she sticks to her beliefs. and i met Erick while working at a restraunt. He's caring, considerate, a complete gentleman.
they did a brave thing telling the public about this most private concern of theirs, let's be supportive, not condeming! they obviously want to overcome this. Erick's just excited. i know how that goes i'm getting married soon too and we're also waiting to have sex. and mary's just nervous. lol mary, you'll get over it.
natalie
Posted by: rev218
Posted on: 2005-02-17 10:27:06
this makes me so happy to have something positive on here! Mary & Erick are friends of mine and they are the sweetest, most-fun, God-loving people!!! I met Mary at East high school and she was a blast to be around. she's been an inspiration because she sticks to her beliefs. and i met Erick while working at a restraunt. He's caring, considerate, a complete gentleman.
they did a brave thing telling the public about this most private concern of theirs, let's be supportive, not condeming! they obviously want to overcome this. Erick's just excited. i know how that goes i'm getting married soon too and we're also waiting to have sex. and mary's just nervous. lol mary, you'll get over it.
natalie
Good For You Erik and Mary
Posted by: mdkmom
Posted on: 2005-02-17 13:45:58
I think that God will truly bless your marriage. Waiting is something he expects us to do. My husband and I have been together for 15 years married ten. We have three wonderful boys together. We are only 31. We were each others first and only....... it is something I will never regret. So try different ways, places inside or outside ...... you never know unless you try :) We are very happily marrried and I am sure that he has seen some pictures of women online but he is a man! But the thing that I do know... for better or worse for richer or poorer in sickness and health...we will always be with each other. Remember God wants to be FIRST in the marriage. Husband, Wife and God. A marriage that is built with God First from both sides is going to last.
Good Luck.......live life to the fullest and have fun!!!!!!!!
Posted by: mdkmom
Posted on: 2005-02-17 13:45:58
I think that God will truly bless your marriage. Waiting is something he expects us to do. My husband and I have been together for 15 years married ten. We have three wonderful boys together. We are only 31. We were each others first and only....... it is something I will never regret. So try different ways, places inside or outside ...... you never know unless you try :) We are very happily marrried and I am sure that he has seen some pictures of women online but he is a man! But the thing that I do know... for better or worse for richer or poorer in sickness and health...we will always be with each other. Remember God wants to be FIRST in the marriage. Husband, Wife and God. A marriage that is built with God First from both sides is going to last.
Good Luck.......live life to the fullest and have fun!!!!!!!!
Mary & Erick
Posted by: jenahj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:28:19
I was happy to see friends of the couple take a few minutes to comment. I could see that they are a very loving couple and are just excited to be with each other. I guess the sex thing needs to be changed to "making love" because there is a difference in "having sex" and "making love." They do need to get the porno out of their relationship period. The close relationship that Mary and Erick will share once they are married should be between them and it will be richer. They need to put all that energy into each other and turn off the porno. It is not true that all men look at pornography. That is the guilty trying to bring down the innocent with them. Please tell your friends good luck and a good life! The secret to a good marriage is be kind to each other, and respect each other.
Posted by: jenahj
Posted on: 2005-02-17 15:28:19
I was happy to see friends of the couple take a few minutes to comment. I could see that they are a very loving couple and are just excited to be with each other. I guess the sex thing needs to be changed to "making love" because there is a difference in "having sex" and "making love." They do need to get the porno out of their relationship period. The close relationship that Mary and Erick will share once they are married should be between them and it will be richer. They need to put all that energy into each other and turn off the porno. It is not true that all men look at pornography. That is the guilty trying to bring down the innocent with them. Please tell your friends good luck and a good life! The secret to a good marriage is be kind to each other, and respect each other.
Support for a sweet pair
Posted by: mrselmo253
Posted on: 2005-02-17 21:23:20
Being half of a young married couple, I know the dillemma Mary Ellen and Erick are in all too well. I am lead to assume that Mary Ellen is a virgin which is why she could say that never having sex would not bother her. She's never had it and sees no logical reason for it therefore she doesnt want it. And her fears are nerves more than anything. I saw the whole episode and she is afraid she will not plase him, and nothing more. For those who have no knowledge beforehand of how we will perform in bed, this IS a horrible and very real fear.
As for Erick, I do agree that a lot of young men look at porn. I also agree that a lot of marriages end in divorce. Did no one but me hear Dr Phil mention that the number one reason for divorce was money related? Not sex related, not porn-viewing related.. MONEY related. I do think he is just an excited young man who will calm down once the marriage settles. that 4 times a day thing is almost unrealistic, although my husband and I had sex five times a day, every day for over a week when we first got married. Then I developed a UTI (which can actually be caused by too much sex, believe it or not!) and that had to stop. We've been married about a year now and we're still going at it 3-4 times a week. If we don't make time for that much sex, we get bitter and angry with each other. I assure you that he WILL calm down in time. He seems to be a very self-less person around Mary Ellen and seems to care more for her than himself.
As for saving themselves for marriage - Kudos to you guys! That's a very personal decision and obviously one you two did not take lightly. All bible-thumping aside, I think you guys have made a decision that works for you and kudos to you for holding on to it in our over-sexualized society. I wish you guys the best of luck. Dr. Phil is right about sex being an important part of a marriage. We need that intimacy with our partners! And how do kids expect to be born without sex? But also remember that sex isnt the ONLY thing one needs for a good marriage. Communication, partnership, an ability to work together, all those things you showed you have during the trials are important. And a sense of humor. I loved how you turned the stressful situation of getting lost into something you both could laugh about. My own marriage would be lost without that ability!
Posted by: mrselmo253
Posted on: 2005-02-17 21:23:20
Being half of a young married couple, I know the dillemma Mary Ellen and Erick are in all too well. I am lead to assume that Mary Ellen is a virgin which is why she could say that never having sex would not bother her. She's never had it and sees no logical reason for it therefore she doesnt want it. And her fears are nerves more than anything. I saw the whole episode and she is afraid she will not plase him, and nothing more. For those who have no knowledge beforehand of how we will perform in bed, this IS a horrible and very real fear.
As for Erick, I do agree that a lot of young men look at porn. I also agree that a lot of marriages end in divorce. Did no one but me hear Dr Phil mention that the number one reason for divorce was money related? Not sex related, not porn-viewing related.. MONEY related. I do think he is just an excited young man who will calm down once the marriage settles. that 4 times a day thing is almost unrealistic, although my husband and I had sex five times a day, every day for over a week when we first got married. Then I developed a UTI (which can actually be caused by too much sex, believe it or not!) and that had to stop. We've been married about a year now and we're still going at it 3-4 times a week. If we don't make time for that much sex, we get bitter and angry with each other. I assure you that he WILL calm down in time. He seems to be a very self-less person around Mary Ellen and seems to care more for her than himself.
As for saving themselves for marriage - Kudos to you guys! That's a very personal decision and obviously one you two did not take lightly. All bible-thumping aside, I think you guys have made a decision that works for you and kudos to you for holding on to it in our over-sexualized society. I wish you guys the best of luck. Dr. Phil is right about sex being an important part of a marriage. We need that intimacy with our partners! And how do kids expect to be born without sex? But also remember that sex isnt the ONLY thing one needs for a good marriage. Communication, partnership, an ability to work together, all those things you showed you have during the trials are important. And a sense of humor. I loved how you turned the stressful situation of getting lost into something you both could laugh about. My own marriage would be lost without that ability!
