02/17 "Grow Up!"
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11Phil missed the point
Posted by: arrowoody
Posted on: 2005-02-17 11:18:51
Delayed maturation has been shown to be an important characteristic of our human evolutionary process according to a new "shift theory". You can investigate the scientific research supporting this theory for yourself at;
www.serpentfd.org/
Posted by: arrowoody
Posted on: 2005-02-17 11:18:51
Delayed maturation has been shown to be an important characteristic of our human evolutionary process according to a new "shift theory". You can investigate the scientific research supporting this theory for yourself at;
www.serpentfd.org/
Posted by: jettav
Posted on: 2005-02-17 11:32:05
These people need to grow up and get a job and those helping them to "mooch" needs to get real with themselves and quit 'babying" these people. I think people who are quite capable of working and getting out on their own but decide to be lazy bums deserve to live on the street, the attitudes of the brother and the girl with the blankie is sooooooo immature and they need professional help to get to the bottom of the "real" reason why they are not living life but expecting everyone else to pay their way in this life, that is selfish and very cold hearted and they definetly need to given the boot! The husband I think is the sincere one and if he honestly and truly loves his family then he will do the work to improve himself, The wife is doing good in sticking up for herself and not allowing him to come ome til he has proven himself worthy to be the father and husband that he is meant to be. I only read the scripts and didn't see the show but their attitudes showed right through the writing.
mooch
Posted by: solaryelle
Posted on: 2005-02-17 13:37:20
I am a mooch. And I have ended up being a moocher because of a bad therapist and a bad economy. I am 44 and living with my sister and her family. I've been on many interviews and can't get a job. Before starting therapy I had my own place and was working. While in therapy I quit my job and went back to school for a second BA. Now, my resume reflects an unstable work history plus a work gap because I went back to school. Being middle aged and unstable has really effected my self esteem.
I don't want to be a mooch. I've been living like this for over a year and I can't take it. I've been told I'm pathetic because of the way I'm living and I agree.
Everyone keeps telling me I'll get a job and be independent again but it doesn't feel like it. I've gotten a new therapist but am nervous because of my last experience.
I'd like some advice.
Posted by: solaryelle
Posted on: 2005-02-17 13:37:20
I am a mooch. And I have ended up being a moocher because of a bad therapist and a bad economy. I am 44 and living with my sister and her family. I've been on many interviews and can't get a job. Before starting therapy I had my own place and was working. While in therapy I quit my job and went back to school for a second BA. Now, my resume reflects an unstable work history plus a work gap because I went back to school. Being middle aged and unstable has really effected my self esteem.
I don't want to be a mooch. I've been living like this for over a year and I can't take it. I've been told I'm pathetic because of the way I'm living and I agree.
Everyone keeps telling me I'll get a job and be independent again but it doesn't feel like it. I've gotten a new therapist but am nervous because of my last experience.
I'd like some advice.
mooch
Posted by: golfallday
Posted on: 2005-02-17 17:04:39
How are you paying a therapist and schooling if you don't have a job? In your comments you blame a therapist and bad economy for your predicament insteading of owning that blame yourself. You don't want to be a mooch? Then don't be. Find any job there is whether it fits your BA or not, find roommates until you can afford 100% of the rent yourself, budget what money you have to pay for necessities first and a therapist later. Start thinking about the long term effect of the decisions you make. Stop feeling sorry for yourself too.
Posted by: golfallday
Posted on: 2005-02-17 17:04:39
How are you paying a therapist and schooling if you don't have a job? In your comments you blame a therapist and bad economy for your predicament insteading of owning that blame yourself. You don't want to be a mooch? Then don't be. Find any job there is whether it fits your BA or not, find roommates until you can afford 100% of the rent yourself, budget what money you have to pay for necessities first and a therapist later. Start thinking about the long term effect of the decisions you make. Stop feeling sorry for yourself too.
Oh Please!
Posted by: mabernet
Posted on: 2005-02-17 17:49:17
If you don't want to be a moocher you wouldn't be. I worked 3 jobs at a time when I was raising my kids. I don't even have ONE BA.
Posted by: mabernet
Posted on: 2005-02-17 17:49:17
If you don't want to be a moocher you wouldn't be. I worked 3 jobs at a time when I was raising my kids. I don't even have ONE BA.
Hi
Posted by: willow73
Posted on: 2005-02-17 18:22:55
I also have gone back to school for my second B.A.. It isn't easy with tuition bills and other bills. I am working two jobs while going to school and am living proof that you can live on your own and be independent, even when high paying jobs are not available. Maybe right now you can't afford an apartment on your own, but start off small. Rent a room somewhere, or get a bacheolor. It is easy to stay where you are, because you have it good and the thought of going off on your own is a little frightning. But, you can't blame your situation on your therapist or the economy. Maybe you can't find a high paying job right now, but what you do is take two jobs to make up one, even three jobs. Just know that this is only temporary. Sure it will be stressful at first, and hard work... but it is only until you can find the right job for you. I am approaching middle age, but I chose to enter a B.A. program that I know I will have a good job when I am finished. Also, I am ready to move wehre ever I need to in order to work. You are not 18 anymore. It is really great that you went back to school... but now, at the age you are, you should choose a program that will help you to advance your economic status...not just go to school to take any old thing and to put off working for a bit. (not that i think you have done this, but I have seen people waste their time and money on programs that are going no where.) I wish you luck with your new thearapist and hope that your life will change for the better so that you can be happy. All the best in what ever you do. :)
Posted by: willow73
Posted on: 2005-02-17 18:22:55
I also have gone back to school for my second B.A.. It isn't easy with tuition bills and other bills. I am working two jobs while going to school and am living proof that you can live on your own and be independent, even when high paying jobs are not available. Maybe right now you can't afford an apartment on your own, but start off small. Rent a room somewhere, or get a bacheolor. It is easy to stay where you are, because you have it good and the thought of going off on your own is a little frightning. But, you can't blame your situation on your therapist or the economy. Maybe you can't find a high paying job right now, but what you do is take two jobs to make up one, even three jobs. Just know that this is only temporary. Sure it will be stressful at first, and hard work... but it is only until you can find the right job for you. I am approaching middle age, but I chose to enter a B.A. program that I know I will have a good job when I am finished. Also, I am ready to move wehre ever I need to in order to work. You are not 18 anymore. It is really great that you went back to school... but now, at the age you are, you should choose a program that will help you to advance your economic status...not just go to school to take any old thing and to put off working for a bit. (not that i think you have done this, but I have seen people waste their time and money on programs that are going no where.) I wish you luck with your new thearapist and hope that your life will change for the better so that you can be happy. All the best in what ever you do. :)
3 jobs?
Posted by: sushi1062
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:26:26
Who raised your kids? Who took care of them? 3 jobs?! A mother with kids at home and works 3 jobs?
Unless each job was only 15 hours p/week, it can't be done without the kids paying the price by not having a mom around (unless your husband did it, if that applies).
I'm not judging or being witchy, really, I just don't know how that is possible while still being a good mom...who is actually THERE, physically, to raise your kids.
I just wonder.
Posted by: sushi1062
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:26:26
Who raised your kids? Who took care of them? 3 jobs?! A mother with kids at home and works 3 jobs?
Unless each job was only 15 hours p/week, it can't be done without the kids paying the price by not having a mom around (unless your husband did it, if that applies).
I'm not judging or being witchy, really, I just don't know how that is possible while still being a good mom...who is actually THERE, physically, to raise your kids.
I just wonder.
my answer
Posted by: mabernet
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:14:43
The oldest two boys, by that time were in high school, the youngest in Elementary school. One job was teaching one night a week at the Community College, I would take my youngest son with me and he would do his homework while I taught class. The other job was an usher at the theater where operas and national stage companies played. I could plan my schedule around when he was at friends or with his father. I didn't say I worked all three jobs each day, My day job was for necessities, the others were for school clothes, football, pizzas.
Posted by: mabernet
Posted on: 2005-03-03 10:14:43
The oldest two boys, by that time were in high school, the youngest in Elementary school. One job was teaching one night a week at the Community College, I would take my youngest son with me and he would do his homework while I taught class. The other job was an usher at the theater where operas and national stage companies played. I could plan my schedule around when he was at friends or with his father. I didn't say I worked all three jobs each day, My day job was for necessities, the others were for school clothes, football, pizzas.
It's not as bad as it could be
Posted by: blaezo
Posted on: 2005-02-17 18:22:55
Hi, I honestly beleive that we always try to make choices in life to better ourselves, it's already phenomenal that you recognise what you like and don't like about your life (your therapy and living conditions). The most important thing is that you don't let others negatively impact your life, such as some messages posted. I can say the following; jobs are available, perhaps not something of your expectation right now, and you feel discouraged, but once you make a start you will soon after begin to feel self reward and gratification. Evidently your life will reestablish itself, and all these negative people will be a far thought from your mind. Remain positive, make a plan, therapists might take a long long time before they actually tell you that, which may put you in financial ruin. I can agree with one notion, the more you think of your situation as a negative one, the more it will be as such until you start feeling that your life can turn around. Success is 90% attitude and 10% knowledge. One last suggestion, have you consider surfing the web on www.monster.com or start your own business on line. Good luck and try saying one positive thing at a time, you'll see the difference in no time.
Posted by: blaezo
Posted on: 2005-02-17 18:22:55
Hi, I honestly beleive that we always try to make choices in life to better ourselves, it's already phenomenal that you recognise what you like and don't like about your life (your therapy and living conditions). The most important thing is that you don't let others negatively impact your life, such as some messages posted. I can say the following; jobs are available, perhaps not something of your expectation right now, and you feel discouraged, but once you make a start you will soon after begin to feel self reward and gratification. Evidently your life will reestablish itself, and all these negative people will be a far thought from your mind. Remain positive, make a plan, therapists might take a long long time before they actually tell you that, which may put you in financial ruin. I can agree with one notion, the more you think of your situation as a negative one, the more it will be as such until you start feeling that your life can turn around. Success is 90% attitude and 10% knowledge. One last suggestion, have you consider surfing the web on www.monster.com or start your own business on line. Good luck and try saying one positive thing at a time, you'll see the difference in no time.
Not pathetic
Posted by: sushi1062
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:26:26
I agree with the two above replies.
You aren't pathetic and you truly want to be independent and take care of yourself, naturally.
You have the courage to seek therapy and also put pride aside by living with your sister for awhile.
If you want it to, and I believe you do, this rough patch in your life WILL pass, provided you are motivated and really want it. Sounds like you do.
I've been in similar situation before and I know how bad it feels and how embarrasing it can feel when you think the people you love and who's opinions you respect are talking about you behind your back (lazy, unemployed, mooch, "loser", "failure" etc. etc.)
you're in my thoughts.
Good things on the horizon!! :)
Posted by: sushi1062
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:26:26
I agree with the two above replies.
You aren't pathetic and you truly want to be independent and take care of yourself, naturally.
You have the courage to seek therapy and also put pride aside by living with your sister for awhile.
If you want it to, and I believe you do, this rough patch in your life WILL pass, provided you are motivated and really want it. Sounds like you do.
I've been in similar situation before and I know how bad it feels and how embarrasing it can feel when you think the people you love and who's opinions you respect are talking about you behind your back (lazy, unemployed, mooch, "loser", "failure" etc. etc.)
you're in my thoughts.
Good things on the horizon!! :)
You're not a mooch.
Posted by: idealw8
Posted on: 2005-02-17 19:35:39
And, you're not pathetic. Get rid of the negative messages your sending yourself.
You need advice? Get a better therapist. One that is direct and will encourage you to thrive. As for the economy, you'll likely suffer anywhere except the South West. But you're in the same boat as the rest of us.
You're ONLY a mooch if you do nothing to better yourself or contribute to society (whether it's the world, or your family).
The unstable work history will mean nothing to an employer, because you have a valid reason for it. Schooling is always a plus in that regard.
There is nothing wrong with what you are doing and you should be thankful you have a loving family that wants the best for you. If they didn't, you wouldn't be under their roof.
Things will work out for you, just don't allow yourself to be so governed by the opinions of others.
Posted by: idealw8
Posted on: 2005-02-17 19:35:39
And, you're not pathetic. Get rid of the negative messages your sending yourself.
You need advice? Get a better therapist. One that is direct and will encourage you to thrive. As for the economy, you'll likely suffer anywhere except the South West. But you're in the same boat as the rest of us.
You're ONLY a mooch if you do nothing to better yourself or contribute to society (whether it's the world, or your family).
The unstable work history will mean nothing to an employer, because you have a valid reason for it. Schooling is always a plus in that regard.
There is nothing wrong with what you are doing and you should be thankful you have a loving family that wants the best for you. If they didn't, you wouldn't be under their roof.
Things will work out for you, just don't allow yourself to be so governed by the opinions of others.
mooch
Posted by: pfernando
Posted on: 2005-02-17 22:04:48
You want to be a mooch, because you are being a mooch. If you didn't want to be one, you would get any job you could find, even McDonald's just so you would have some money of your own and could gain some degree of independence. If you want something to happen, you have to act to make it happen.
Posted by: pfernando
Posted on: 2005-02-17 22:04:48
You want to be a mooch, because you are being a mooch. If you didn't want to be one, you would get any job you could find, even McDonald's just so you would have some money of your own and could gain some degree of independence. If you want something to happen, you have to act to make it happen.
Posted by: trecrop
Posted on: 2005-02-17 23:02:02
PA-LEEZE --
It is always someone else's fault isn't it? Quit making excuses and get off your and find a job. If you think your self esteem sucks, fix it. I really don't think you want to move out, as you have a 'good' thing going there.
Thanks for responding
Posted by: solaryelle
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:35:32
Thank you to everyone for responding to my posting. I have been working 4 jobs and interviewing every few weeks with no results. I do have it good and have been contributing financially to the household when I can. I do need to take any job and move on.
Thank you all again for taking the time to respond.
Posted by: solaryelle
Posted on: 2005-02-18 09:35:32
Thank you to everyone for responding to my posting. I have been working 4 jobs and interviewing every few weeks with no results. I do have it good and have been contributing financially to the household when I can. I do need to take any job and move on.
Thank you all again for taking the time to respond.
Relax
Posted by: shal416
Posted on: 2005-02-18 15:44:50
It sounds to me that what you've been suffering from is depression. You have a very negative and low self impression of yourself and what needs to happen first is you need to find a doctor who can get you the help you deserve.
MOtivation is hard to come by when you're depressed, and that's an essential process if you want to get out and live your own life.
Good luck.
Posted by: shal416
Posted on: 2005-02-18 15:44:50
It sounds to me that what you've been suffering from is depression. You have a very negative and low self impression of yourself and what needs to happen first is you need to find a doctor who can get you the help you deserve.
MOtivation is hard to come by when you're depressed, and that's an essential process if you want to get out and live your own life.
Good luck.
Hey Mooch You Can Do It!
Posted by: leadd0g
Posted on: 2005-02-19 16:29:11
Mooch you can do it. All it takes is a decision followed by some action. Your perception and reality are two different things. This is a great economy, if you can't find a job you are not looking. Or you could start your own business. The choice is yours, you need to quit talking about it to a therapist and do some action. It will raise your esteem on fill your pocket book. I know I did it. The best thing I ever did was cut the purse strings from my parents. My marriage improved, my esteem improved and my finances improved. It has nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with character, discipline and self control. You can do it. Decide and take action.
Posted by: leadd0g
Posted on: 2005-02-19 16:29:11
Mooch you can do it. All it takes is a decision followed by some action. Your perception and reality are two different things. This is a great economy, if you can't find a job you are not looking. Or you could start your own business. The choice is yours, you need to quit talking about it to a therapist and do some action. It will raise your esteem on fill your pocket book. I know I did it. The best thing I ever did was cut the purse strings from my parents. My marriage improved, my esteem improved and my finances improved. It has nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with character, discipline and self control. You can do it. Decide and take action.
are u real
Posted by: sparklesta
Posted on: 2005-02-20 15:39:07
You don't have the luxury of going to school and a therapist. If you can't get the job you think you deserve go get a different one you can't just live off of someone else your self esteem is low beacause you keep making up excuses for yourself. Work ANYWHERE you can that will lift your spirits and then you will have the resources to find the job you want!
Posted by: sparklesta
Posted on: 2005-02-20 15:39:07
You don't have the luxury of going to school and a therapist. If you can't get the job you think you deserve go get a different one you can't just live off of someone else your self esteem is low beacause you keep making up excuses for yourself. Work ANYWHERE you can that will lift your spirits and then you will have the resources to find the job you want!
Oh Get Real!
Posted by: star642005
Posted on: 2005-02-21 08:31:24
I can't believe what I've just read. You can afford to see a therapist but can't afford NOT to be a mooch? You're 44 years old. Don't you think it's about time you took responsibility for your own life? I can't believe that you blame a therapist for you being a mooch! That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life!
You need to grow up, get a job, your own place and get out of your sister's house. Do you honestly think they like to have you there mooching off of them? If you were my sister, your arse you be thrown to the curb in a split second. One year is more then enough time for you to get your act together and grow up. Geesh!!!
I'd be very very embarassed and ashamed of myself if I were you.
Posted by: star642005
Posted on: 2005-02-21 08:31:24
I can't believe what I've just read. You can afford to see a therapist but can't afford NOT to be a mooch? You're 44 years old. Don't you think it's about time you took responsibility for your own life? I can't believe that you blame a therapist for you being a mooch! That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life!
You need to grow up, get a job, your own place and get out of your sister's house. Do you honestly think they like to have you there mooching off of them? If you were my sister, your arse you be thrown to the curb in a split second. One year is more then enough time for you to get your act together and grow up. Geesh!!!
I'd be very very embarassed and ashamed of myself if I were you.
self employeed
Posted by: tinkny
Posted on: 2005-02-21 23:48:24
Solaryelle, Have you ever thought about working for yourself? I own a cleaning business. No employees, just me and I'm turnnin work away because people keep recommeding me.
Cathy
Posted by: tinkny
Posted on: 2005-02-21 23:48:24
Solaryelle, Have you ever thought about working for yourself? I own a cleaning business. No employees, just me and I'm turnnin work away because people keep recommeding me.
Cathy
Thanks For the Chuckle
Posted by: coach64
Posted on: 2005-02-17 14:51:39
Hi, In the Social Work field we call your answer justification. No offence meant but you can usually find some kind of "research" to support your behavior. Just because it is in writing does not mean it is true and does not meant it is healthy for you or the people around you!
If you actions do not help you get to your goals, guess what? Surprise you may be doing something wrong!
Just my opinion.
Posted by: coach64
Posted on: 2005-02-17 14:51:39
Hi, In the Social Work field we call your answer justification. No offence meant but you can usually find some kind of "research" to support your behavior. Just because it is in writing does not mean it is true and does not meant it is healthy for you or the people around you!
If you actions do not help you get to your goals, guess what? Surprise you may be doing something wrong!
Just my opinion.
