06/15 Desperate Diets
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Posted by: angespaz
Posted on: 2004-11-08 20:43:47
people don't realize how hard it is to have an eating disorder, I have tried and tried to overcome it, but have come to the realization that it is a condition that I have to live with. It is so hard to live in a society that encourages and applaudes weight loss but yet there is nothing for those that need to gain weight to live, no wonder it is too scary for people to recover, those poeple like me become trapped.
Posted by: angespaz
Posted on: 2004-11-08 20:43:47
people don't realize how hard it is to have an eating disorder, I have tried and tried to overcome it, but have come to the realization that it is a condition that I have to live with. It is so hard to live in a society that encourages and applaudes weight loss but yet there is nothing for those that need to gain weight to live, no wonder it is too scary for people to recover, those poeple like me become trapped.
You don't need to live with an eating disorder....
Posted by: helena80
Posted on: 2004-11-09 16:54:56
In response to the previous message, an eating disorder is not something that anyone should have to live with or give up on. I know how difficult, unbearable and disastrous it is to be living with an eating disorder, but I also know how wonderful it is to be living free of an eating disorder. I lived with anorexia and bulemia for 3-4 years, and purged twice a day for at least two years. I also tried diet pills, and was involved in the compulsive need to exercise. I never thought I would battle the disorder and in fact, I had lost all hope. However, at one point in my life, I said "thats enough" and began my road to recovery. I was heavily addicted to food and purging, however, I have been recovered for over 5 years now (at 25), and am living an extremely happy and healthy life. The girl who used to battle bulemia seems like an entirely different person now, and I have anxiety when I learn about others with eating disorders and the continued obsession for thinness. I was never fat, and was never abused, and yet my perfectionism and need for control when my parents divorced still led to a terrific battle of an eating disorder, which controlled my life for many years. I just hope that everyone else out there battling one knows that it IS possible to recover and to NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: helena80
Posted on: 2004-11-09 16:54:56
In response to the previous message, an eating disorder is not something that anyone should have to live with or give up on. I know how difficult, unbearable and disastrous it is to be living with an eating disorder, but I also know how wonderful it is to be living free of an eating disorder. I lived with anorexia and bulemia for 3-4 years, and purged twice a day for at least two years. I also tried diet pills, and was involved in the compulsive need to exercise. I never thought I would battle the disorder and in fact, I had lost all hope. However, at one point in my life, I said "thats enough" and began my road to recovery. I was heavily addicted to food and purging, however, I have been recovered for over 5 years now (at 25), and am living an extremely happy and healthy life. The girl who used to battle bulemia seems like an entirely different person now, and I have anxiety when I learn about others with eating disorders and the continued obsession for thinness. I was never fat, and was never abused, and yet my perfectionism and need for control when my parents divorced still led to a terrific battle of an eating disorder, which controlled my life for many years. I just hope that everyone else out there battling one knows that it IS possible to recover and to NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!
i wish people saw the other side
Posted by: lollielive
Posted on: 2004-11-10 12:58:55
I have not even seen the show today and I already know it will focus on the eating side of it! Everybody does, that makes it so hard. I have totally runinned everything in my life becuase of this problem. IT IS NOT AN EATTING THING! I never have found the right kind of help to get me to feel "good" hell,I'd settel for ok. I lovest love in my life the freinds I have told. Tried so hard to "save me"you know just eat something.... they tell me. No one sees the realy side of this problem. so like always, I could not meet up to people standards and just "EAT" you know I make myself stave. It is all in my head.. I hear that so much. and there is NO QUICK FIX! why can't people hear that side of this problem I have been this way for more that 15 years. and finally it is taking a toll on my heart. but really I don't care. all my friends are gone and no family support to help me or stand beside me. People that got in to this and out of it under 5 years GOOD FOR YOU! as for me.. I am sure it will kill me and it is sad but I don't even care it has taken so much of my life away. i fell there nothing to live for in the future. case I just don't have one. and it is my fault fo rbeing weak and not beable to over come this nd loosing everything in my life... for what? To be thin?
Posted by: lollielive
Posted on: 2004-11-10 12:58:55
I have not even seen the show today and I already know it will focus on the eating side of it! Everybody does, that makes it so hard. I have totally runinned everything in my life becuase of this problem. IT IS NOT AN EATTING THING! I never have found the right kind of help to get me to feel "good" hell,I'd settel for ok. I lovest love in my life the freinds I have told. Tried so hard to "save me"you know just eat something.... they tell me. No one sees the realy side of this problem. so like always, I could not meet up to people standards and just "EAT" you know I make myself stave. It is all in my head.. I hear that so much. and there is NO QUICK FIX! why can't people hear that side of this problem I have been this way for more that 15 years. and finally it is taking a toll on my heart. but really I don't care. all my friends are gone and no family support to help me or stand beside me. People that got in to this and out of it under 5 years GOOD FOR YOU! as for me.. I am sure it will kill me and it is sad but I don't even care it has taken so much of my life away. i fell there nothing to live for in the future. case I just don't have one. and it is my fault fo rbeing weak and not beable to over come this nd loosing everything in my life... for what? To be thin?
Posted by: missykygal
Posted on: 2004-11-10 15:52:52
Sweetie you are absolutely right... it's NOT about eating. Hear that loud voice in your head telling you you are a pig every time you eat?? That is very very common in eating disordered people. My therapist when I was anorexic called it the "negative mind". THAT was what had to be conquered before the eating disorder could be cured. I suggested a book in an earlier post called Secret Language of Eating Disorders and it talks all about that. I read it and with it and theraoy I have been ED free for 8 years!
BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER - Related Topic
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-13 12:37:07
A related topic which may be of interest to posters. It is not an uncommon disorder, simply a hidden one, since sufferers are often embarrassed to tell even their closest friends about their concerns.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Katharine A. Phillips M.D.
The Broken Mirror--the first book on this underrecognized disorder--is essential reading for the psychiatrists, mental health professionals, and other physicians who see these often undiagnosed patients; for the friends and family concerned and upset by a loved one who won't believe their reassurances; and for the millions who suffer from BDD in silence and secrecy. Finally a book for the therapist and client to share!
Posted by: anon_slc
Posted on: 2004-11-13 12:37:07
A related topic which may be of interest to posters. It is not an uncommon disorder, simply a hidden one, since sufferers are often embarrassed to tell even their closest friends about their concerns.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Katharine A. Phillips M.D.
The Broken Mirror--the first book on this underrecognized disorder--is essential reading for the psychiatrists, mental health professionals, and other physicians who see these often undiagnosed patients; for the friends and family concerned and upset by a loved one who won't believe their reassurances; and for the millions who suffer from BDD in silence and secrecy. Finally a book for the therapist and client to share!
Posted by: littlejess
Posted on: 2005-06-15 19:24:24
absolutely not an eating thing. Am looking forward to reading your book suggestion.....i think i've read damn near everything else. I have been living with bulimia for 17 years now. Constant battle that seems to win every time. Identified with the negative mind comment! and understand i need to deal with the self hatred inner dialog first. Just not sure how to go about that yet. Therapy hasn't proved effective for me as of yet...hopefully this book will get me back on track again. Congrats on being free for the last 8 years. :)
please don't give up
Posted by: magster36
Posted on: 2004-11-10 17:31:28
You cannot give up. By giving in to the eating disorder, you are saying, "I am a willing to die." I have battled with my eating disorder for over 19 years and have never been willing to just give up (even though my commitment to recovery has wavered at times). Life with an eating disorder is not acceptable but I do feel quite helpless to the ED most of the time. I have lost friends, family, and am broke (over $100,000 of medical bills) and am endangering my life everyday by restricting and taking mass quantities of laxatives. With all that said I am still not able to let myself off the hook. I will not stop fighting this eating disorder and seeking out ways of getting the help I desperately need. I hope you can dig deep within yourself and find the resolve not to give up. You just need to believe that you can have a better life if you are willing to keep pushing yourself to fight the ED.
Posted by: magster36
Posted on: 2004-11-10 17:31:28
You cannot give up. By giving in to the eating disorder, you are saying, "I am a willing to die." I have battled with my eating disorder for over 19 years and have never been willing to just give up (even though my commitment to recovery has wavered at times). Life with an eating disorder is not acceptable but I do feel quite helpless to the ED most of the time. I have lost friends, family, and am broke (over $100,000 of medical bills) and am endangering my life everyday by restricting and taking mass quantities of laxatives. With all that said I am still not able to let myself off the hook. I will not stop fighting this eating disorder and seeking out ways of getting the help I desperately need. I hope you can dig deep within yourself and find the resolve not to give up. You just need to believe that you can have a better life if you are willing to keep pushing yourself to fight the ED.
I feel where you're at
Posted by: littleyaya
Posted on: 2004-11-11 11:49:38
Magster36 I too have lost so much due to
my eating disorder. However, I've got reservations when it comes to recovery. Am I willing to go to any length to get recovery? I know the right answer is Yes, but that's NOT where I'm at. Part of me is into recovery and other part of me isn't ready to quit everything. A terrific recovery website is www.something-fishy.org.
It's pro-RECOVERY and NOT pro-ANA. It's the best recovery website I have found for
eating disorders.
Posted by: littleyaya
Posted on: 2004-11-11 11:49:38
Magster36 I too have lost so much due to
my eating disorder. However, I've got reservations when it comes to recovery. Am I willing to go to any length to get recovery? I know the right answer is Yes, but that's NOT where I'm at. Part of me is into recovery and other part of me isn't ready to quit everything. A terrific recovery website is www.something-fishy.org.
It's pro-RECOVERY and NOT pro-ANA. It's the best recovery website I have found for
eating disorders.
Posted by: lotsogirls
Posted on: 2004-11-17 11:34:07
I used to take massive amounts of laxatives too. I did damage to my body and have had surgeries, etc.
I found that it helped to tell someone about it. It's hard to do. But, you can't do it alone. If you don't get to the root of the problem, because it's not about eating, you'll never completely recover.
Please get some help. There is help, and hope!
To Susanhof
Posted by: dawnsrams
Posted on: 2004-11-10 19:46:02
Out of all people I understand what you are going through, yet I know down deep that you do have something or someone to live for. I think as of now you have a serious problem with depression and desperately need help with that. When you find it in yourself to deal with your depression you will find the power to overcome your eating disorder.
Posted by: dawnsrams
Posted on: 2004-11-10 19:46:02
Out of all people I understand what you are going through, yet I know down deep that you do have something or someone to live for. I think as of now you have a serious problem with depression and desperately need help with that. When you find it in yourself to deal with your depression you will find the power to overcome your eating disorder.
wish people saw the other side
Posted by: ruby_red21
Posted on: 2004-11-10 20:00:21
What ever it is...don't let it kill YOU!! You can get help..if you want it. I don't know what it is that you are dealing with..but just remember the people in your life and all around you love and care about you. Just imagaine how they would feel if you died. They would probably be devistaed and hurt in so many ways.
For yourself and other's around you..get help. They'll be there for your support. You'll thank them afterwards..I know I did.
Posted by: ruby_red21
Posted on: 2004-11-10 20:00:21
What ever it is...don't let it kill YOU!! You can get help..if you want it. I don't know what it is that you are dealing with..but just remember the people in your life and all around you love and care about you. Just imagaine how they would feel if you died. They would probably be devistaed and hurt in so many ways.
For yourself and other's around you..get help. They'll be there for your support. You'll thank them afterwards..I know I did.
ok then
Posted by: jlydon
Posted on: 2005-06-15 16:41:32
ive never been inspired to join a message board by a tv show before. i was just clicking by too. good show i supose. cassie made the show worth watching today. im also impressed by all the firstclass advice i see in here. goodwork
Posted by: jlydon
Posted on: 2005-06-15 16:41:32
ive never been inspired to join a message board by a tv show before. i was just clicking by too. good show i supose. cassie made the show worth watching today. im also impressed by all the firstclass advice i see in here. goodwork
I know what you mean
Posted by: venusblue9
Posted on: 2004-11-10 20:26:05
Hey, I totally get what you are saying. it would be so easy if it were all about food, but most people are so freakin' ignorant about e/d's it's pathetic. I am sort of in the same boat you are. If it were about food i'd be cured by now. i've had this damn disease for 14 years and although i've mastered the "near healthy" weight, i'm still so screwed up menatlly that i could easily be trapped again soon. I wish i could say something to encourage you further, but i need that same kick in the ass too. Good luck and remember that you are talking about it and that is good, voice your opinions and someone WILL listen, Idid.
Posted by: venusblue9
Posted on: 2004-11-10 20:26:05
Hey, I totally get what you are saying. it would be so easy if it were all about food, but most people are so freakin' ignorant about e/d's it's pathetic. I am sort of in the same boat you are. If it were about food i'd be cured by now. i've had this damn disease for 14 years and although i've mastered the "near healthy" weight, i'm still so screwed up menatlly that i could easily be trapped again soon. I wish i could say something to encourage you further, but i need that same kick in the ass too. Good luck and remember that you are talking about it and that is good, voice your opinions and someone WILL listen, Idid.
I see your side!!
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-11-10 21:07:36
You are SO right. Eating disorders aren't the same as dieting. They have very little to do with food. When one feels out of control in another area of life, the anxiety is transferred to something one CAN control: intake of food.
This is why there is so much misunderstanding. We cannot JUST EAT and get well, because it's not about the food. No one would even think of telling someone, "Hey, stupid, just quit thinking about the way your husband beats and belittles you!" but they think nothing or saying "Hey, stupid, just put some food in your face!" An eating disorder can be a transference of emotion from any number of negative circumstances, but it is not about the food.
Once I got out of the negative family environment that sparked my eating disorder (EDNOS), I got better, but I did not get "cured." The old obsessive patterns rear their ugly heads in situations of great stress, and I have to work very hard to avoid falling back into the transference trap. I see myself like a diabetic -- I have a condition that cannot be cured, but with proper management it can be minimized.
You're in my prayers for health, healing and release from the whatever is causing the inner pain that is keeping you sick.
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-11-10 21:07:36
You are SO right. Eating disorders aren't the same as dieting. They have very little to do with food. When one feels out of control in another area of life, the anxiety is transferred to something one CAN control: intake of food.
This is why there is so much misunderstanding. We cannot JUST EAT and get well, because it's not about the food. No one would even think of telling someone, "Hey, stupid, just quit thinking about the way your husband beats and belittles you!" but they think nothing or saying "Hey, stupid, just put some food in your face!" An eating disorder can be a transference of emotion from any number of negative circumstances, but it is not about the food.
Once I got out of the negative family environment that sparked my eating disorder (EDNOS), I got better, but I did not get "cured." The old obsessive patterns rear their ugly heads in situations of great stress, and I have to work very hard to avoid falling back into the transference trap. I see myself like a diabetic -- I have a condition that cannot be cured, but with proper management it can be minimized.
You're in my prayers for health, healing and release from the whatever is causing the inner pain that is keeping you sick.
I see your side!!
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-11-10 21:25:06
You are SO right. Eating disorders aren't the same as dieting. They have very little to do with food. When one feels out of control in another area of life, the anxiety is transferred to something one CAN control: intake of food.
This is why there is so much misunderstanding. We cannot JUST EAT and get well, because it's not about the food. No one would even think of telling someone, "Hey, stupid, just quit thinking about the way your husband beats and belittles you!" but they think nothing or saying "Hey, stupid, just put some food in your face!" An eating disorder can be a transference of emotion from any number of negative circumstances, but it is not about the food.
Once I got out of the negative family environment that sparked my eating disorder (EDNOS), I got better, but I did not get "cured." The old obsessive patterns rear their ugly heads in situations of great stress, and I have to work very hard to avoid falling back into the transference trap. I see myself like a diabetic -- I have a condition that cannot be cured, but with proper management it can be minimized.
You're in my prayers for health, healing and release from the whatever is causing the inner pain that is keeping you sick.
Posted by: houndmom
Posted on: 2004-11-10 21:25:06
You are SO right. Eating disorders aren't the same as dieting. They have very little to do with food. When one feels out of control in another area of life, the anxiety is transferred to something one CAN control: intake of food.
This is why there is so much misunderstanding. We cannot JUST EAT and get well, because it's not about the food. No one would even think of telling someone, "Hey, stupid, just quit thinking about the way your husband beats and belittles you!" but they think nothing or saying "Hey, stupid, just put some food in your face!" An eating disorder can be a transference of emotion from any number of negative circumstances, but it is not about the food.
Once I got out of the negative family environment that sparked my eating disorder (EDNOS), I got better, but I did not get "cured." The old obsessive patterns rear their ugly heads in situations of great stress, and I have to work very hard to avoid falling back into the transference trap. I see myself like a diabetic -- I have a condition that cannot be cured, but with proper management it can be minimized.
You're in my prayers for health, healing and release from the whatever is causing the inner pain that is keeping you sick.
Guest November 10th 2004
Posted by: monujet
Posted on: 2004-11-11 09:35:40
If someon out there has the name of Dr. Phil's guest today (Nov 10th 2004), would you be so kind as to let me know.
My wife said a name like Dr. Percorn or something on that order.
Thanks!
Posted by: monujet
Posted on: 2004-11-11 09:35:40
If someon out there has the name of Dr. Phil's guest today (Nov 10th 2004), would you be so kind as to let me know.
My wife said a name like Dr. Percorn or something on that order.
Thanks!
RE Guest November 10th 2004
Posted by: pb6936578
Posted on: 2004-11-11 09:39:00
The doctor on this show is Dr. Marcy Gurvey, an internal medicine physician and former director of the eating disorders program at NYU. She's now with the Facey Medical Group in Northridge, CA.
Posted by: pb6936578
Posted on: 2004-11-11 09:39:00
The doctor on this show is Dr. Marcy Gurvey, an internal medicine physician and former director of the eating disorders program at NYU. She's now with the Facey Medical Group in Northridge, CA.
A comforting thought
Posted by: lily4556
Posted on: 2004-11-11 13:50:52
Hey guys and girls :)
I comppppleetely understand where all of you are coming from. I wasn't going to watch yesterday's show because I thought it would bring back painful memories, but I did anyhow. I'm so thankful I did. I'm now 22 and struggled with an eating disorder since I was 13. I remember sitting in the third grade and comparing my thighs to my peers'. Growing up, I was an athlete in school which made my eating habits even more dangerous. I felt if I ate less, I would move quicker on my feet for Track/Field. I soon realized this habit was making me weak and my body was feeding off my running muscle because I was starving it. My hard work and training soon turned to flabby muscle.
I'm finally on the road to recovery but I learned that eating disorders come in all shapes/sizes and none of you should ever feel ashamed for feeling how you do. Its a mental disease that affects us physically. I had an exercise obsession where I felt I had to exercise so many minutes a day to feel good about myself. It wasn't about the shape I was in, it was about the control and the self-love I felt after I did exercise. After struggling for so long, I'm finally learning that its a matter of self-love and knowing that you are worth more than a just body..Remember bodies are shells and they dont make us who we are.
I know what you are ALL going through and I pray that you realize that there ARE people in your life that care about you and dont want to see you do this to yourself. They probably have no idea of the pain you're going through so it may come across as though they dont care.
Look to someone in your life you can trust and know that you are beautiful and your life is worth saving!! Never give up hope and never doubt that anyone cares because even strangers on this board do!! :)
Posted by: lily4556
Posted on: 2004-11-11 13:50:52
Hey guys and girls :)
I comppppleetely understand where all of you are coming from. I wasn't going to watch yesterday's show because I thought it would bring back painful memories, but I did anyhow. I'm so thankful I did. I'm now 22 and struggled with an eating disorder since I was 13. I remember sitting in the third grade and comparing my thighs to my peers'. Growing up, I was an athlete in school which made my eating habits even more dangerous. I felt if I ate less, I would move quicker on my feet for Track/Field. I soon realized this habit was making me weak and my body was feeding off my running muscle because I was starving it. My hard work and training soon turned to flabby muscle.
I'm finally on the road to recovery but I learned that eating disorders come in all shapes/sizes and none of you should ever feel ashamed for feeling how you do. Its a mental disease that affects us physically. I had an exercise obsession where I felt I had to exercise so many minutes a day to feel good about myself. It wasn't about the shape I was in, it was about the control and the self-love I felt after I did exercise. After struggling for so long, I'm finally learning that its a matter of self-love and knowing that you are worth more than a just body..Remember bodies are shells and they dont make us who we are.
I know what you are ALL going through and I pray that you realize that there ARE people in your life that care about you and dont want to see you do this to yourself. They probably have no idea of the pain you're going through so it may come across as though they dont care.
Look to someone in your life you can trust and know that you are beautiful and your life is worth saving!! Never give up hope and never doubt that anyone cares because even strangers on this board do!! :)
Posted by: mailai2004
Posted on: 2005-06-15 19:27:15
Lets get this straight first ok? YOU ARE NOT WEAK!!!! OK now that it is out lets focus on your message. You are so correct when you say that it isn't about eating. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY TO ME JUST EAT AND ALL WILL BE FINE. B.S. It doesn't work that way. I unfortuneately don't know how long I have had an eating disorder however, I feel that this to will kill me if I don't get the help I need. As for friends leaving you because of it, well then they aren't truly your friends. If you live in an area that has and eating disorder support group i would suggest that you go there. I think it may help you get friends who understand what you are feeling and going through. Know you are not alone sweetie. I love you and God loves you.
i wish people saw the other side
Posted by: lollielive
Posted on: 2004-11-10 13:02:18
I have not even seen the show today and I already know it will focus on the eating side of it! Everybody does, that makes it so hard. I have totally runinned everything in my life becuase of this problem. IT IS NOT AN EATTING THING! I never have found the right kind of help to get me to feel "good" hell,I'd settel for ok. I lovest love in my life the freinds I have told. Tried so hard to "save me"you know just eat something.... they tell me. No one sees the realy side of this problem. so like always, I could not meet up to people standards and just "EAT" you know I make myself stave. It is all in my head.. I hear that so much. and there is NO QUICK FIX! why can't people hear that side of this problem I have been this way for more that 15 years. and finally it is taking a toll on my heart. but really I don't care. all my friends are gone and no family support to help me or stand beside me. People that got in to this and out of it under 5 years GOOD FOR YOU! as for me.. I am sure it will kill me and it is sad but I don't even care it has taken so much of my life away. i fell there nothing to live for in the future. case I just don't have one. and it is my fault fo rbeing weak and not beable to over come this nd loosing everything in my life... for what? To be thin?
Posted by: lollielive
Posted on: 2004-11-10 13:02:18
I have not even seen the show today and I already know it will focus on the eating side of it! Everybody does, that makes it so hard. I have totally runinned everything in my life becuase of this problem. IT IS NOT AN EATTING THING! I never have found the right kind of help to get me to feel "good" hell,I'd settel for ok. I lovest love in my life the freinds I have told. Tried so hard to "save me"you know just eat something.... they tell me. No one sees the realy side of this problem. so like always, I could not meet up to people standards and just "EAT" you know I make myself stave. It is all in my head.. I hear that so much. and there is NO QUICK FIX! why can't people hear that side of this problem I have been this way for more that 15 years. and finally it is taking a toll on my heart. but really I don't care. all my friends are gone and no family support to help me or stand beside me. People that got in to this and out of it under 5 years GOOD FOR YOU! as for me.. I am sure it will kill me and it is sad but I don't even care it has taken so much of my life away. i fell there nothing to live for in the future. case I just don't have one. and it is my fault fo rbeing weak and not beable to over come this nd loosing everything in my life... for what? To be thin?
