The Fourteen Days of Loving with Honesty Dyads

Day 5

EVENING ACTIVITY
Set up the dyad, having your book and a clock or timer handy. Remember to choose a time that is free of distraction.

Step 1: Silently make and maintain eye contact for two minutes.
Step 2: Topics for intimate disclosure:

Partner A: "Agreements that I have made with you and then broken or failed to live up to are. . ." Three minutes

Partner B: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Partner B: "Agreements that I have made with you and then broken or failed to live up to are. . ." Three minutes

Partner A: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Partner A: "It hurts me when you break agreements because. . ." Three minutes

Partner B: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Partner B: "It hurts me when you break agreements because. . ." Three minutes

Partner A: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Partner A: "I feel better about myself when I treat you with dignity and respect because. . ." Three minutes

Partner B: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Partner B: "I feel better about myself when I treat you with dignity and respect because. . ." Three minutes

Partner A: "Thank you for caring enough to share, and I promise to weigh it carefully."

Step 3: Stand and hug for thirty seconds.
Step 4: Please record your thoughts and feelings in your personal journal for five minutes minimum.

Footnote to Day 5: We all make agreements that we fail to keep. Maybe it is something as simple as taking out the trash or calling if we are going to be late, or as complex as agreeing to love and respect our partner. Even small broken agreements can put bumps in the road for our relationships. Such behavior can and does send a message to your partner that he or she was not important enough to you to win out in the competition for your time and energy. Examine this issue honestly and from the heart. Be specific in detailing the agreements that you have broken. Force yourself to identify the specific instances. For example, "I broke an agreement with you when I said I would pick up the dry cleaning a week ago Tuesday. Do not explain or justify them to your partner, just acknowledge them by listing them. Your three minutes may be filled up by agreements you have broken in the recent past, or you may include those that are from years gone by.



Go to day:   1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11  |  12  |  /page/evening_dyad_day_13/  |  14  



For a more in-depth look at yourself, your partner and how to reconnect, you can read Relationship Rescue and do the exercises in Dr Phil's Relationship Rescue Workbook.