Disruptive Daughters

August 9, 2013
Kim says her 22-year-old daughter, Kaitlyn's, persistent emotional meltdowns are causing chaos in the home — but could Kim be enabling her daughter’s behavior? And, Alice says her daughter, Jenny, has lied so many times — including faking blindness — she doesn’t know when she’s telling the truth.  So, how is she to believe Jenny’s newest claim?







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KaitlynKaitlynLexanneKaitlynKimRossJennyAlice

Kaitlyn

Kim says her 22-year-old daughter, Kaitlyn's, emotional meltdowns are causing chaos in the home, and while she says she’s fed up, she believes that Kaitlyn has no control over her irrational behavior and she caters to her needs. “Katie is one of my 24/7 priorities,” she says.

Kaitlyn’s stepfather, Ross, says he believes his stepdaughter is acting out to get attention and that Kim is too easy on her. “I want to handle her in a more heavy-handed manner,” he says.

Dr. Phil tells Kim that she is only enabling Kaitlyn and sabotaging her growth.

Kim agrees. “I enable Katie. It’s easier to give in to Katie than deal with the drama," she says. "I often wonder if I might be part of the problem.”

Kaitlyn says she’s used to her mom taking care of her. “She caters to me a lot. I never really have to be responsible,” she says.

Kaitlyn’s stepsister, Lexanne, says she’s getting married in a few months and worries that Kaitlyn will disrupt her big day. “If she’s not the center of attention, she throws a fit,” Lexanne says.

“I understand that it’s her special day, but I don’t understand why it needs to revolve around her. On her wedding day, I think some people should pay attention to me because it’s hard to watch my sister walk down the aisle when I should have done that first,” Kaitlyn says. “I know I’m going to lose it when Lexanne is bossy and has to be in control of everything.”

Lexanne says either way, Kaitlyn is still in the wedding.

“You are willing to trade your wedding for her to have a stage to behave with this ridiculous behavior?” Dr. Phil asks Lexanne.


Kim shows home video of what life with Kaitlyn is really like. And, Kaitlyn’s family shares their frustrations.

Must-See: Dr. Phil asks Kaitlyn if she plans to spoil Lexanne’s upcoming wedding, and her response is not surprising.


Dr. Phil explains to Kim how her enabling is hurting Kaitlyn and only helping herself.


Kaitlyn says she also struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder. “I can’t control my behavior or emotions, but what I can control is how I spend my time,” she says. She says she makes spreadsheets to plan out her day, hour by hour, moves her bedroom furniture around as a way of controlling her physical surroundings and organizes tiny beads. Kaitlyn says if she can’t organize something, she will have a meltdown.

“Necessity is the mother of invention, and somehow you’ve not required very much of yourself,” Dr. Phil tells Kaitlyn. He tells Kim that she parents out of guilt.

“I don’t know how to parent Kaitlyn,” Kim concedes.

Dr. Phil offers to send Kaitlyn to the PNP center and offers to teach her new coping skills to learn to manage herself. Lastly, he begs her not to ruin Lexanne’s big day.

Jenny

Alice says her 31-year-old daughter, Jenny, lies so frequently, it's hard to know when she’s telling the truth. Alice says Jenny has lied about a stalker breaking into her house with a knife, getting hit by a car, having excruciating stomach pains, having seizures — and even faking blindness for six weeks. “Jenny’s lies became more dramatic,” Alice says.

Jenny admits to her history of lying and says it all began as a child, when her brother got cancer. She says she learned that the only way to get attention was to make believe she was close to death. “I thought I had to be at risk of losing my life,” she says.

Alice says Jenny’s newest claim is that she is crippled by a debilitating fear of dirt and germs, but she thinks it’s all a ruse.

Jenny says her germaphobia is real, and she won’t let her own children touch her. “I tell my children that I am clean, and they are dirty,” she says.

Jenny says she’s crippled by a debilitating fear of dirt and germs. Is she crying wolf?

Dr. Phil gives Jenny the good and the bad news: “You’re not very good at this.”

Dr. Phil tells Jenny that he doesn’t believe that she is a “germaphobe.” He says that she's trying to find rituals to express what she’s feeling, but it’s not working to lessen her anxiety. “There’s enough wrong with you that you don’t need to make up stuff,” he says

He offers to send Jenny to the PNP center. Will she accept?