Saving Julie: The Final Decision

May 1, 2013
Dr. Phil continues his intervention with Julie and Danny, a couple who say they’re caught in a cycle of abuse. When Danny reacts in anger onstage, Dr. Phil expresses his concern for Julie’s safety: “If he would act this way here, in front of cameras and a studio audience, what is he like behind closed doors?” Can Julie stand up to Danny and end this destructive relationship once and for all? And, how will Danny react to her decision? Don’t miss the dramatic conclusion!

Catch up on what you missed in Part1!

Join Dr. Phil’s campaign to End the Silence on Domestic Violence and sign up to become a Silence Breaker.








More than 16 million kids in the United States are at risk for hunger each day. Fortunately, you can help. Visit Feeding America to find your local food bank. And, help Dr. Phil raise enough money for 10 million meals. Donate today!



Danny and JulieDr. Kat Derrig-Palumbo

A Look in the Mirror

Danny insists that he’s never physically abused Julie and says that she is overly dramatic in their arguments and makes him look like the aggressor. Dr. Phil says that records indicate that he was in jail for a year and a half for being violent with an ex-girlfriend, and that, along with his emotional intensity, may make it hard for some to believe he’s not violent with Julie.


Danny admits, “I get very intense. I don’t even know how I have front teeth anymore — I grind them.”
 
"Don’t you get tired of that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I’ve been tired of that for years," Danny says, "but I do these things to prevent myself from being that way."

Dr. Phil questions Danny about a strange incident backstage before the show. "Who do you think you are?"


Dr. Phil plays a clip of Danny from the show, when he turned to Julie and vented his anger.
 
"That's a man who needs some help," Danny says. After watching a clip of himself crumpling a water bottle in anger, he says, “That’s a crazy guy right there."

"And you think she wants to be with that on a day-to-day basis? You think she loves that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I don’t think anybody loves that type of behavior [from] anybody," Danny says.


Julie says Danny is controlling and isolates her from her family and friends.

Dr. Phil has strong words for Danny. “She can lie until the cow comes home, and you can kiss her ass!”


Dr. Phil goes over common tools of abusers and gives Danny another look at himself. Will it make an impact?

Taking Back Her Life


Julie takes the first step to reclaim her life. “I will never allow you to hurt me again.”

"Do you want to continue this relationship?" Dr. Phil asks Julie.

"No, I do not," she answers, without hesitation.

"So, you’re done."

"I’m done."

"And you have no doubt of that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Absolutely not. I want myself back," she says.

Dr. Phil asks Danny, "Does she have that right?"

"Sure. She can go back to being the little lying whore slut she always was. I got no problem with it," he says. Danny looks to Julie. "Enjoy your life, because that's all you're going to be," he tells her.

"That's a very mature response," Dr. Phil notes. "So, you respect her right to end this relationship?"

"Sure, she can do anything she wants. It’s done," Danny says.

"And you will leave her alone?"

"Absolutely. I will get all my stuff, and I will leave," he says. Danny aims his vitriol at Julie. "Goodbye. Goodbye. You’re garbage. You're such a liar. Embarrassing, you are."

Dr. Phil says, "People have the right to be in relationships and then end them, right?”

"Oh, it’s definitely over," Danny says. He turns to Julie and says, "All good things come to an end, right?"

"Yeah, and bad things too," Dr. Phil points out. "The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for a year is being in a bad relationship for a year and one day." He tells Danny, "I don’t think you’re an evil guy. I think you're just terribly immature and have a real problem with anger. And I don’t like the way you’re treating her, and I would say that if I had never even met her."

Dr. Phil offers Danny professional help to deal with his anger. "Let me get you some help where you can feel some peace within yourself, because you deserve that. Because when you’re showing this kind of anger outside, you’ve got to have turmoil inside, and you’ve got to be tired of that."

"Very," Danny says, accepting the offer of help.

A Safe Plan in Place

Danny leaves the stage, and Dr. Phil asks Julie how she's doing.

"I'm less scared than I was. I feel good because I told him I wasn’t sorry anymore," she says. "I feel like if I never see him again for the rest of my life, I would be OK with that."

Dr. Phil commends Julie for standing up for herself and making it clear with Danny that their relationship is over. He says it's important to take precautions going forward because the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim tries to leave — a phenomenon experts refer to as separation assault.

Dr. Phil explains that he's been working with the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Dating Abuse Helpline so that the experts can put a plan in place to get Julie safely away from Danny. She’ll be taken directly to a safe women's shelter, and no one will know the location — not Danny, not her family, not even Dr. Phil and his staff. During this next phase of her life, Julie will have the opportunity to work long distance with therapist Dr. Kat Derrig-Palumbo, who also will not know her whereabouts. She will help Julie throughout the process of getting her life back.

"Are you prepared to take this journey?" Dr. Phil asks Julie.

"Can I leave right now?" she asks.

"Yes, you can leave right now."

"He won’t find me, right?" Julie asks tearfully.

"He will not find you," Dr. Phil tells her. "I can’t even find you."

Julie thanks Dr. Phil.

Backstage, Danny comes to terms with the end of his relationship. Dr. Phil gives him some parting advice.