Dropout Daughter: Confronting the Boyfriend
September 24, 2013
Nathan and Jacy say their 16-year-old daughter, Valencia, is making dangerous choices — and they claim her 25-year-old boyfriend, David, is only making matters worse. Sparks fly when the parents confront David for the first time. Plus, Nick Carter is back to perform a special song — dedicated to Valencia.This show contains strong language and sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.
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Confronting the BoyfriendNathan and Jacy say their 16-year-old daughter, Valencia, is a high school dropout who’s doing drugs, driving under the influence, stealing and lying. They say her 25-year-old boyfriend, David, is contributing to the teen’s dangerous behavior — and they think he has no business dating their daughter.
"We're going to have a civil conversation here," Dr. Phil warns, as the parents come face-to-face with David. "I'm here to try to help this situation — not have it melt down." Dr. Phil turns to David: "You're 25, and she's 16. What are you doing dating a 16-year-old?" David replies that he doesn’t like the age difference, especially because he has a 17-year-old sister. He says he knows the situation looks bad, but he tries not to think about it.
Dr. Phil asks David if he uses drugs with Valencia, or if he's ever provided her with drugs.
David claims that they've only smoked pot together. "I don't do drugs... I mean, nothing hard," he insists.
But, Jacy and Nathan say otherwise, claiming that David and Valencia get high on Klonopin and "Mollies." "The Klonopins, they eat like candy," Jacy claims. "[Valencia] was just telling me the last time I saw her that David's stressed out because his prescription is up."
David insists that he thinks Valencia is actually better off with him. He claims that Valencia was "a mess" before they started dating, and was sleeping in a "crack shack" to avoid going home. He says at one point they stayed in his car for two weeks, so he could protect her from living on the streets.
"Without David, I'd be homeless," Valencia agrees.
Violent Threats?Jacy and Nathan say David makes vulgar remarks to them about having sex with Valencia. Jacy says she called David a pedophile, and claims that he responded: "I like them young. You have a 10-year-old in the house, don't you?" David denies making the remark. The parents also claim that David has threatened to shoot them and firebomb their house. David admits mentioning that he had a gun, but denies making any other threats.
Dr. Phil excuses David and Valencia from the stage so he can talk to Jacy and Nathan alone. Jacy admits that they've "kind of always" had problems with Valencia — even before David became involved. Nathan agrees and says they've tried different parenting strategies, but nothing seems to work. He confesses that, in the last month, he's resorted to physical violence to punish Valencia. "I hit her and it felt good, because it felt like it was the only thing I had left," he says.
Dr. Phil tells Nathan that his behavior is completely unacceptable as well as counterproductive, because it's driving Valencia away. Nathan says he realizes that what he did was inexcusable. "I wanted to scare her. It didn't work," he admits.
"You know who you scared, is me," Dr. Phil responds. "I'm horrified that there are seven other children in this home, and you're beating one of them." He warns, "You're going to lose your daughter, and if you keep this up, you're going to lose the other seven."
A Second ChanceDr. Phil tells Nathan and Jacy that they've completely lost their daughter's trust and will need to work to rebuild it. "This family is broken, and it needs to be fixed in parts and pieces before it is reassembled," he says.
Dr. Phil recommends that Valencia get professional help — away from the family situation and away from David. He offers to send her to the Center for Discovery, a residential treatment program that focuses on difficult-to-manage youth. "You have as much work to do while she's gone as she does while she's gone," he tells the parents. Nathan and Jacy accept the help.
Web Extra: A Song for Valencia