From Housewife to Secret Sex Life: A Sister Intervention
November 11, 2013
Emily and Lori say that their oldest sister, Kim, completely changed a year and a half ago, when she lost more than 100 pounds, filed for divorce and joined a sexual fetish group. They say they worry that Kim's 9-year-old daughter is being exposed to her mother's sexual activities, a claim Kim strongly denies. She says that she's happier than ever, that her daughter is well taken care of — and that her sisters are blowing things way out of proportion. How does she describe her new lifestyle and the changes she has made? And, hear from Kim's soon-to-be ex-husband, James. Does he support the way Kim is living her life?
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Sisters at OddsEmily and Lori say that after their oldest sister, Kim, had gastric bypass surgery a year and a half ago, she became a totally different person. They say she filed for divorce from her husband of 17 years and joined what she told them was a divorce support group. But, the sisters say that they soon found out that wasn't the case. "This group, from what I have learned about it, is about people who have sexual fetishes, and they basically perform those fetishes on each other," Emily claims. "They whip each other, spank each other ... just very aggressive moves that leave markings on your body, and I think could really hurt you."
The sisters add that they're worried about the effect that Kim's new lifestyle is having on her 9-year-old daughter. "Kim's priorities right now are, I think, herself first, the group and then her daughter," Lori insists.
"Kim started referring to the sex group as her family," Emily agrees. "She said she doesn't need her blood family anymore — that she's found people who accept who she is and what she is." She continues, "I think that Kim thinks she's doing nothing wrong. She thinks she's a perfectly normal, everyday, average mother." Emily adds that she still loves Kim very much, because she's her sister, but says, "I truly hate and despise and fear the person that Kim is today."
Kim says that when she lost all the weight, she gained a newfound confidence and is finally happy with her life, other than the drama with her sisters — and with Emily, in particular. "Emily does think everything I'm about is sexual, and that's all I care about in my life. That is far, far from the truth," Kim insists. "The group I'm in is not a sex group," she maintains. "The group is a support group, because it's a place for me to go where I'm free, where I'm not judged, where I'm just me." Kim is adamant that she is not willing to leave the group in order to have a relationship with her sisters.
"You think she's just gone over the high side," Dr. Phil says to Emily and Lori, and they agree.
“I’m here for my niece," Lori insists. "I don’t care what Kim does behind closed doors. That’s her business. What I care about is how it’s affecting my niece and the things she says." Emily agrees and tells Dr. Phil that she has also heard things from her niece that have made her very concerned.
Kim is adamant that everything she does is in private and with one person, her boyfriend. She also insists that no group events have ever taken place at her home. "Group meetings are in public places, and they're conversation," she says. "It's never been brought to my home."
Child Neglect?Emily and Lori claim that Kim's involvement with the group has shifted her priorities away from being a good mother. They say that they've seen worrisome changes in their niece, who they claim has put on weight, isn't properly groomed and even wets her pants. "When I see my niece, I see neglect," Lori insists, adding that she and Emily have called Child Protective Services multiple times.
The sisters also say that, eight months ago, Kim's daughter was missing for five hours, and the police were called in to start a search. “I kind of thought it was a blessing in disguise, once I realized she was safe, because I really thought it would have snapped Kim out of this, but nothing changed," Emily says. "There are days that I want to smack her in the face because of what she's doing to her innocent child."
"Honestly, Dr. Phil, all I can do is laugh," Kim responds.
"Nothing," Kim interjects.
“She’s a pretty good manipulator," Lori responds. "We've worked together for almost 14 years. If I was to tell the people at work who she is, outside of work ... She's fooled a lot of people."
"I can't fool CPS, Dr. Phil," Kim responds. "They've been in my home unannounced."
James insists that he believes Emily and Lori are blowing things out of proportion when it comes to the group, adding that the fighting between the sisters is something that has been going on for years. He is adamant that if he felt his daughter was in an unsafe environment, he would take steps to remove her immediately.
"You understand, just as a stranger rolling up on the situation that is trained to look for certain things, that these would be bells that would ring for me," Dr. Phil tells Kim. He continues, "Then I would see that we're dealing with someone who has sexualized interests. I mean, you're hobby isn't pottery ... "
Kim says that she understands Dr. Phil's concerns, but she insists, "I have not tried to hide any of these signs from anybody. I'm the one who brought most of these behaviors to a professional for help."
The New Boyfriend
Dr. Phil asks Kim about her new boyfriend, Stacy, who is also a member of the group, and whom she plans to move in with soon. He asks Kim if Stacy has ever slept in the same bed as her daughter when he's stayed at her house, and Kim is insistent that he hasn't. "Absolutely, unequivocally no," she says. "Prior to me even meeting him, I had stepped her out onto the couch as step one of getting her into her own room," she explains.
Kim says that she initially met Stacy through a friend — not the group — and says that she has done a lot of research into his background. "I know where he used to live. I know where he grew up. I've met his family ... I know a ton of his background," she insists.
"If you've ever watched this show, you know that I make a big deal about knowing who we expose our kids to," he tells Kim. "You said you’ve spent hundreds of hours ... You've learned all kinds of things about him," he continues. "We’re going to find out who this man is that's in this home."