A 26-Year Age Divide: Can This Couple Be Saved?

August 18, 2014
Ashley, 24, and Dean, 50, say most of their  three-and-a-half-year relationship has been volatile, and as a result, they’ve both served time in jail for domestic assault. Ashley says Dean has bitten her on the arm, driven off with her on the hood of his car and even choked her while she was pregnant with their now 3-year-old daughter — claims he denies. Dean says Ashley is often violent with him, and once hit him in the face with a glass, requiring 26 stitches. He also says she’s immature and goes out partying instead of being a mother to their child — but Ashley says she only goes out occasionally. Hear from Dean’s 20-year-old daughter, Morgan, and ex-wife, Jody, who say Ashley is the problem. What’s at the root of the couple’s anger? Dr. Phil weighs in and offers help for them moving forward as a couple and individuals. Can Ashley and Dean stop the violence for the sake of their daughter? And, should they stay together? This program contains strong language. Viewer discretion advised.







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Ashley, 24, and Dean, 50Dean's daughter, MorganMiles Adcox, owner and CEO of Onsite

A Volatile Relationship

Ashley, 24, and Dean, 50, say most of their  three-and-a-half-year relationship has been volatile, and as a result, they’ve both served time in jail for domestic assault. What’s driving their anger? And, can they stop the violence for the sake of their 3-year-old daughter?

“We can’t even be in the same room without arguing.”

Dr. Phil reviews the couple’s history, which they admit includes physical fights, threats of suicide, a suicide attempt, damage to property, police calls and charges of domestic violence.

Dean accuses Ashley of going out partying and not spending enough time with their daughter.
 
Dr. Phil asks her, “Did you go 10 days without ever seeing your daughter?”

“Yeah, I did, because I was stressed out. I wanted to get away from my house. I didn’t know what else to do,” she says. Ashley says she generally only goes out two nights a week. She denies sleeping until 3 p.m. and leaving her daughter in her pajamas and not changing her diapers, as Dean alleges.

“Are you a stripper?” Dr. Phil asks.

“No, but Dean thinks I am,” she says. Ashley says she’s friends with an exotic dancer and has visited a strip club once.

When Dr. Phil asks her if she was out all night before she flew to Los Angeles, Ashley says she was out until 3:00 a.m. but eventually admits that it probably was more like 5:00 a.m.

“I’m just curious how much you’re going to lie to me, and so far, it seems to be quite a bit,” Dr. Phil notes.

Dr. Phil turns to Dean. “Are you a drunk?” he asks.

“No, I’m not a drunk. I’ve never even had a DUI,” he says. “Yeah, I drink.”

“Are you an alcoholic?”

“Yes, I’m an alcoholic,” Dean says.

"OK, so you want to play semantics?" Dr. Phil asks. "Why don't you cut the crap and stop this smart-ass attitude?”

“I’m an alcoholic,” Dean says. “I hate who I’ve become.”


Dr. Phil reviews angry text messages that Dean sent Ashley. And, find out what makes Ashley storm offstage.

“I want your daughter to grow up and be not like you … I want her to be better than you.”


Dean’s ex-wife, Jody, joins the discussion via phone. Why does she say Ashley and Dean’s relationship affects her as well? And, Dean’s daughter, Morgan, speaks out about how her father has changed.

Dr. Phil offers Dean a life-changing opportunity.

“You need a variety of help,” Dr. Phil tells Ashley.

Ashley spent a few years in the foster care system, after her parents passed away, and Dr. Phil notes that her experience there could play a part in her dysfunctional behavior and immaturity.

Dr. Phil and Robin are national spokespersons for CASA, Court Appointed Special Advocates. Each CASA volunteer helps children caught in the foster care system by speaking on their behalf in court.
 
Robin says, “It’s so important that these foster children have these CASA representatives standing there for them because a lot of them go into the court system, and they don’t have anyone to speak on their behalf. And I have been told by family court judges that the CASA report on behalf of that child is the first thing they read before they go into court — and sometimes the only thing they read — and it determines what that judge decides on behalf of that child. So, it’s very important that they have someone who will speak to them on their behalf.”

Consider becoming a CASA volunteer today!