"Hands off My Man!"

July 23, 2014
Theresa says her fiancé, Bill’s, ex-girlfriend, Melissa, is jealous and obsessed with trying to ruin their relationship. Melissa claims that Theresa destroyed her relationship with Bill, so for revenge, she’s slept with him several times since he’s been with Theresa. Bill admits he’s made mistakes but says he’s tired of being stuck in the middle. Dr. Phil intervenes in this drama-filled love triangle. This show contains sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.








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TheresaBillMelissaDr. Ian Tong, Doctor on Demand

Drama-Filled Love Triangle

“I am absolutely stuck in the middle of Melissa and Theresa’s drama.”

Dr. Phil drills down on the man in the middle. “Is there anybody you won’t sleep with?” And, is Melissa still pursuing Bill?

Dr. Phil points out that Bill says he’s cheated on Theresa with Melissa only twice, but Melissa claims they’ve had sex 10 to 15 times since he’s been with Theresa.

“I knew about two times,” Theresa says. She says she believes Bill’s claims that Melissa forced herself on him.
 
Melissa says Bill has always come to her for sex, but Bill denies the claim, saying it once happened at his place when she dropped their son off.
 
“I have never hooked up with Bill in front of my son. Never. I would take a polygraph test,” Melissa says.

“God, I think if you three took a polygraph test, it’d blow the damn machine up,” Dr. Phil says.

Bill admits he’s made mistakes but says he’s only slept with Melissa when Theresa has broken up with him.

“That’s funny, because the last time we hooked up, you told me that you left her,” Melissa says.

“I never told her that,” he says.

Bill explains his indiscretions. “Melissa man-raped me.”

“I don’t believe that it was 10 to 15 times. I think that’s a complete lie. I think it’s only been the two times that I know about,” Theresa says, regarding Bill’s affairs with Melissa.

“You cheated on Melissa while she was pregnant,” Dr. Phil says to Bill. “And you cheated on Theresa while she was pregnant.”
 
“Yes,” he admits.

“Very classy,” Dr. Phil says.

“I’m not saying it’s classy,” Bill says.

Melissa and Theresa admit they hate each other, and have even gotten into physical altercations, one of which took place at a custody exchange.

Obsessed with Her Ex?

In a previous interview, Theresa says she’s terrified at what Melissa is capable of doing. “I think Melissa focuses her life around Bill. I think that she thinks about Bill constantly,” she says.

“I feel like she’s constantly keeping tabs on me,” Bill says. He says when he changed his Facebook profile to private, “It created World War III.”
 
"What’s the harm in being friends on Facebook?" Melissa asks. "People are friends on Facebook who don’t even speak in real life, and I’m your son’s mother."

Bill and Theresa say Melissa uses her son as an excuse to contact Bill, and show up at Bill’s job unannounced.

Melissa explains, “My son will say, ‘I want to stop at Daddy’s work,' so we’ll stop. I don’t think I ever overstep my boundaries.’”

“I think she is just obsessed with him,” Theresa says.
 

Is Melissa obsessed with Bill? Dr. Phil reviews her behavior.

Dr. Phil is concerned for the children in the middle of the drama. “If brains were lard, the three of you couldn’t grease a skillet.”

Dr. Phil tells Bill that the best way to help reduce the negative interactions between Theresa and Melissa and help Theresa learn to trust him again is to be transparent. “You should never be in [Melissa’s] presence without [Theresa] there. If you have to do a hand off with the child, just do it with her there,” he says. “If you have total transparency in this exchange and with the child, then you have no issue.”

Questioning Paternity

Bill and Theresa both question whether Bill is the real father of Melissa’s son. “It has crossed my mind that my son with Melissa may not be mine,” Bill says. “Melissa has lied to me so much that I wouldn’t put it past her that she lied just to entrap me.”

“It’s crossed my mind that Melissa has been artificially inseminated. It’s a way to trap Bill,” Theresa says.

“In my heart, I’ve got to believe he’s my son. If not, it’ll devastate me,” Bill says.

Melissa agreed to a paternity test.

Dr. Phil opens the lab results and reads: “The probability of paternity with regard to you being the father of that child is 99.999 percent.”

“Good. Awesome. Actually, that’s made me really happy. Thank you, Dr. Phil,” Bill says.

Medication and Children

Bill says he worries that Melissa is giving their son unnecessary medication.

Melissa says their son was diagnosed with ADHD at about age 1. He is currently taking 1 milligram of Intuniv, and she gives him 3 milligrams of Melatonin at bedtime because she says he has trouble sleeping.
 
Dr. Phil uses the Doctor on Demand app to speak with Dr. Ian Tong. “First off, can you reliably diagnose a child with ADHD at 1 year of age?” Dr. Phil asks.

“If you’re talking about patient under the age of 6, you really need to engage a specialist who is a child and adolescent psychologist to make the diagnosis,” Dr. Tong says. He explains that some ADHD medications have been shown to affect nutrition and growth patterns, which can delay development. “The medications can also cause heightened levels of anxiety. They can affect sleep, and they can increase someone’s agitation,” he says.

“What’s your opinion of giving a child 3 milligrams of Melatonin at bedtime?” Dr. Phil asks.

“The problem with that is you don’t really know the concentration of the active ingredient when using something that’s not regulated by the FDA,” Dr. Tong says. “We don’t want to make any recommendation that we don’t have the evidence or the knowledge base to know how that medication or substance is created, manufactured, and really what levels of the effective dose are in that.”

Dr. Phil cautions the parents. “The last thing you want to do is get a child in the middle of this crossfire and then start throwing pills at the kid. What you want to do is turn down the environmental noise and decide that you are a fiduciary.” He tells Melissa, despite any feelings she may or may not have for Bill, “You’re a fiduciary for this child, and you have to put that child’s interests ahead of your own, and that means this drama has to stop.”

Doctor on Demand was created by Doctor on Demand Inc., which is owned in part by Dr. Phillip C. McGraw. Dr. Ian Tong is the Medical Director for Doctor on Demand. 

A Doomed Marriage?

Dr. Phil has words of warning for Theresa. 

Dr. Phil tells Theresa, “You need to make a core decision: Are you buying a ticket to a train wreck? That’s what you need to ask yourself, and the best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. Unless something dramatic happens to change his value system and his behavior, you’re going to get the same thing in the future that you’ve gotten in the past.”

He offers resources for premarital counseling to Theresa and Bill and urges them to complete that before deciding whether to get married or not. “Don’t get married until you do that. You deserve that. Your child deserves that,” he says.
 
They accept.